Sunday

We expected Albert to be late in the morning to pick us up for church, so we took our time. Unfortunately he came early and we had to skip breakfast. It's be the only time so far he's ever been early for anything. I guess everything has to happen at least once.

Albert took us to his church. It's a tin shed in a small town called Moi's Bridge, about 20 minutes out of Kitale. When we arrived at church things had already started. We shook a few hands and were ushered into the church and shown to our seats. We had front row seats along with the other Elders and Leaders of the church. There was a table in front of us with a table cloth, and a few bottles of Coke, Sprite and Fanta and other drinks on it. It turns out at the end of church a girl comes along and asks each of the elder people what they would like to drink, then pours it for them. It was a rather uncomfortable experience. As much as I love the idea of Coke in church, I hate the idea of being the spiritual elite. It didn't really speak of the equality of the eldership with the rest of the church to me. We've come to see that this kind of thing happens in all the churches. I asked one of our friends about it and realised that it's a reflection of the tribal culture, and this is how the elders of a tribe would be seated. I can understand that, but still I'm not a fan. But as a guest I can't really do much about it. I just try and graciously take the spot I am given.

The church service was fun. Lots of African singing, Albert preached and got translated, so we understood, then more singing. The congregation seemed to like the singing better than the sermon. It was good to see we have some similarities with our brothers and sisters here.

During the service we were welcomed by Pastor Albert and we got to tell them a little about ourselves. Albert made the first of what have been many references to when we return next year. This is a little bit of a worry because neither of us are planning on returning next year. We've tried to tell Albert this but alas still every meeting there's a reference. But maybe he's had a prophesy, and knows more than us. God can send us where he likes.

After church we were taken to Albert's house. It's a mud brick "unit" that's got a tin roof and is half the size of my bedroom. Certainly different to the four bedrooms that the Sydney Diocese insists on for it's clergy.

Aside: Lots of alarms have started sounding here, I wonder if the building is burning down? Oh just got told to save. Power going. Good bye.

I do love these visits to the wind-up internet cafe.

The rain just started bucketing down. Last night the revival meeting was cancelled because of the rain. Tonight Crusade and Revival meeting might go. That would be sad, in some ways, but having another night off might be nice too. We'll see how things go.

But now, lets get back to Saturday.

PART TWO BEGINS HERE

We arrived in Eldoret quite late. I've heard it's the third biggest city in Kenya. That may be true. But I saw a silo on Sunday and was told that it was the second biggest of only four in Africa, only to see another one the same size the next day. But Eldoret basically was just moving from one bus into another with a lot of people shouting "Mazungu! Mazungu!" at us. "Mazungu" means white man. Howie and I are something of a novelty here. I'm happy to provide the amusement.

We were stuffed into another overcrowed bus, Albert feel asleep on my shoulder, and we sped off to Kitale. In Kitale we were bustled into an old, blue Peurgeot station wagon that had doors that were missing all the interior panels, and seats that weren't actually attached to the floor. We found out later this was Pastor David's car.

We were taken to the Mid Africa Hotel, which seems to be the poshest hotel in town. Howie and I were given a double bed which didn't really fit the mattress, so it poked up at the end. The mattress still had a plastic covering on it, which is helpful if either of us wet the bed, but felt like you were sleeping on the back seat of taxi.

Still I was happy to have a bed. We took some dinner, and then fell asleep. The eight-hour trip to Kitale had only taken 12 hours. Pretty good for African time I reckon.

Breakfast was good. Albert and David came to our room with us after breakfast sat us down, told us that when we get to Kitale everyone will ask us for money because we're white. They told us the protocol for how to deal with this, then proceeded to tell us they can't afford to run this conference they we're here for and would we mind paying for it.

While this seemed a little dodgy to me. I don't mind paying for stuff, or trying to be generous. I do mind if it creates a bad relationship and dependance between us. If they'd asked me to pay before I came though, I probably would have said "No". But seeing as if we didn't give any money we would have had no conference to go to, I figured it might be worth bank rolling the endevour. I'm working at being gracious and generous about it.

Once we'd sorted out the dosh, it was off to Nairobi city centre to find a taxi van to take us to Kitale. Nairobi is full of people, everyone is trying to sell you stuff it seems, they're quite enterprising these Kenyans. We found one booking place, but they were full. Pastor David and I headed off to find money changers, came back, then moved to a new booking place. And inadvertantly while picking up our luggage, we picked up someone else's bag too.

I thought it was kinda ironic that I spend the whole time walking around Nairobi careful that no-one would pick-pocket me, or steal my stuff, and then I ended up stealing some poor person's bag. It probably contained all their worldly possesions and I nicked. David and I took it back to the booking office so that who ever lost it could come back and claim it. I hope they got it. I was praying that we did.

We eventually found a taxi bus (I've forgotten what they're called "Toki Tokis" or something like that) to take us to Naruku, from there we were going to get a bus to Eldoret and from there we'd get a bus to Kitale. It turned out things were going to be a little slower than planned. But as I've experienced, everything goes slower than planned.

We squeezed ourselves onto this dogdy Toyota van, prepared to leave and got our bus boarded by a bus preacher, who gave us a mini-sermon and a prayer before we left. I didn't understand much, except that the Bible promised that we would have an accident, because if God is for us, who (or what) can be against us. I am pretty sure that is a contextually accurate use of that passage. The Romans were often catching taxi buses.

The trip was long and squashy. We saw Zebra by the side of the road and those flat trees they have in The Lion King. We could tell we we in Africa.

Road rules here seem to be, drive in the middle of the road, try not to hit anyone, and overtake on the wrong side of the road as much as possible, especially if there is a truck coming at you from the other direction. If you try not to fear for your life, it's a pretty exciting trip.

Our first stop in Nakuru gave us top quality African Coke. African Coke tastes like Australian Coke, unlike UAE Coke. So it was very special.

Between Nakuru and Eldoret (which is in the north-west of Nairobi) we were to drive across the Equator. I was pretty excited. I often dreamt about seeing the Equator when I was a kid. I never actually thought I'd go there. It seemed somewhat magical.

Unfortuately I fell asleep in the van and woke after I heard Howie say "That's cool". I opened my eyes and found out I had missed the Equator by 5 seconds. Sadness.

END OF PART ONE

Gosh I write a lot. Well, good on you for reading this far. Have to go to random village again now. So I'll finish later. There's not too far to go. At least on Saturday.

I'm off to buy water and Coke.

We have just arrived back in Kitale from being in a town who's name I've forgotten. We were doing revivals and crusades in a remote rural community. All the buildings were made out of mud and sticks and there was no electricity. I felt like I was in the happy part of a World Vision video. The preaching was hard, but the people were wonderful.

We will soon be on our way to another town to do a Pastors' and Leaders' meeting, two revivals and two crusades. We got told we were leaving in 10 minutes 30 minutes ago. There are some things I love about African time (like extra sleep and internet time) some things not so much (going to bed 2 hours later than planned). But right now I'll see if I can make the most of it. I'll see if I can fit another blog post in before we leave.

We're now in Kitale, Kenya. We're siting in an internet cafe with, what feel like, 486 computers, which have modems that run on semafore.

We're waiting for a truck to get fixed. It's in the garage getting something done to it. It's going to drive us to some random village where we're going to stay for the next two days. We're doing a youth conference there, two open air preaches, and two revival meetings. The youth conference started at 10am and will finsih in about 20 minutes. I've heard this town is an hour away (which probably means two) so I doubt we'll make it in time. Still, I'm greatful for the chance to catch up with the world.

I figure seeing as I have so much to blog, I'll just start from when we arrived in Kenya and go till the truck is fixed. We could be here all day, praise the Lord.

Friday

We were delayed in Dubai for some reason, so we got to Nairobi late. Our plane was pretty much full of American Christians off to save the children. I guess we're all the same.

Once at Customs we were leaving with a big bunch of Americans. The Customs man waved them through, but they were stopped by another customs guy. The American lady who was heading up the group (they were all wearing t-shirts that said "Every Child is a Winner" on the front) shouted at the man "We were told to go through! All that's in there is books and clothes, books and clothes!" I felt it was probably a good start to the campaign of good for the children of this nation.

We made it out of customs without having to shout at anybody and meet Pastor Albert and his friend Pastor David. Pastor Albert is the shortest African man we have ever seen. The gave us a handshake and a hug then took us to the taxi they' had hired.

We left the Airport and were stopped at a toll booth by a man with a big gun. I thought "Oh know here comes the car jacking" and then remembered that there are big guns everywhere in Africa, so we may not be about to die. The driver and the gun man had a bit of a laugh, which makes you feel safe. I'd like to able to make jokes with big men with big guns. I'd feel quite good about myself.

We were taken to the YMCA in Nairobi to spend the night. It was like church camp accomdation, except dodgier. Still, I do love the dodge factor, so I was pretty happy. The bed was comfy enough that I slept good.

Well we're at Dubai Airport. All ready to leave.

I'm printing out all our talks at this internet cafe. I'm going to use up the last of my Dubai money on this.

Yesterday was Wild Wadi day. This is the place with the uphill waterslide.

We woke up earlyish and sat around. The cleaners came to clean our room and laugh at Howie's jokes. They had a good time. It's a little bit embarrasing having someone clean up your mess while you sit there. I'd rather clean up after myself. But I guess they're used to it.

We got ourselves a taxi after that and headed off to the water park. It was on the other side of Dubai, so we got to drive through the CBD. this is basically a strip of tall, new, mostly ugly buildings that are mostly under construction, and mostly covered in advertising. We got to see the work they're doing on the tallest building in the world. It's pretty cool. Tall too. But mostly what I saw seemed pretty souless to me.

Wild Wadi was tops fun. It's like Manly Waterworks and Ali Baba combined. It's all middle eastern themed and made out of fake rocks and stuff. When you arrive you put all your money for the day on a waterproof wristband and then anytime you want to buy something you just get it scanned. It's way fun. It's like playing a really big, simulation game and you get to eat the stuff you get. It's well designed to help you part with your money. I had fun.

The uphill waterslide is actually a series of many uphill and down hill waterslides. You go in a blow up tube and get shot up a waterslide by high pressure jets that try to take your pants off. Dirty machines.

Then you get to the end and have a series of three other water slides to choose from, and from there you get a series of three more and so on, till you get fed into big fake river to take you on a leasurely float around the park. It's pretty fun. All the way along there are overly friendly life guards to push you down different slides and force you to have your photo taken.

Once we were bored of the park, and had eat well with our play money, we headed off to Mall of the Emirates. It's teh 23rd biggest mall in the world, and its the one with the indoor ski slope. Neither Howie or I went sking though. It would have been fun, but as neither of us have skied before, we would have had a lesson, and we're too proud to let anyone teach us stuff. Especially not on fake snow in Westfield on roids.

But the mall was fun. We went to an oversized Timezone and played racing games. And we bought toilet paper in the biggest supermaket I have ever seen. Much bigger than the one the day before. It had 90 isles and 58 checkouts. It was huge. It was the size of Cowan, but under flouresant lights.

We ended our time in the food court then headed home feeling sleepy.

At the appartment I managed to wash come clothes in the washing machine. It was all written in Italian, so I had to make it up. But after 3 attempts and way too many soap suds, we got clean clothes. And the advantage of having nights that are 35 degress outside, you can dry your clothes on the balcony over night.

Today has been short. Just prayer and airport really. Lots of lines in the airport. I think the airport is the only place I have seen locals actually working. Everywhere else it's imported labour, like Indians, Pakistanis, British, Philipinos, etc. It's an odd city.

I'm running out of internet time, so I should stop. Plus it's all most time for Kenya.

Golly gosh. What are we doing?

Pray for us.

If you want to see the first (and possibly last) installment of our video diaries, here they are.

It's mainly about poo, so be warned.

When I get a chance to You Tube them, I will.

We're going to the gate. Just took my pants off for the Customs people. You know how it is.

Next stop Dubai.

See you then.

We haven't died yet.

"People say they want to find God, but maybe all they really want to do is find themselves." - C.K. Knight

We have all the time in the world
to get it right
to get it right
And we have all the love in the world
to set alight
to set alight - The Frames

I'm getting all these people adding me on Facebook as friends who I went to school with and I haven't seen since. So I'm not sure if we're really friends.

But I now think "Maybe they'll look at the photos of me and think "Wow, after school he really came out of his shell!"" Of course I was out of my shell during the school years too, just not as school.

I doubt they'll look at the photos of me though. And if they do, they probably won't think much at all except "Oh, that's what he looks like now."

At least I'm better looking now.

I hopped in my car and was about to go to work on Sunday morning when I noticed a man walking up our street. He stopped at our drive way (I was parked on the street) looked up it, then walked in. I thought "Oh no, someone's stealing our stuff again." So I hopped out of my car walked back to the house and found the man standing on a small garden bed wall holding some scissors and trying to cut a mandarin out of our mandarin tree. I said "Hello"

"Oh hi" he replied "I just thought these looked good so I thought I'd try one."

"Oh, ok" I responded, "They're not very good, but go ahead"

"Oh they look good."

"Well if you like it feel free to have them anytime you want."

"Ok, thanks." He said. And then I went to work.

Today I was sitting at work and I got a phone call from one of the youth group mothers and she said "I wouldn't normally do this but my husband is away for work, and I have a flat tire, and I just saw Jon and he said you'd be really good at it. So can you come up to the shops and change my tire for me?"

Little did Jon know that I've never changed a tire in my life, but I'd seen my Dad do it once. I'd never changed one because I've never had a flat tire. Not because I get other people to do it. But I figured, how hard can it be.

So I went up to the shops and fiddled around. Her son was with her (he's in the small group I run), so we intuited our way through the process and changed the tire. It was pretty fun. I didn't really know what I was doing, but now I do. So if ever I need to change a tire, I can. It's not that hard. And I had dirty hands afterwards, so I felt pretty manly.

Jo, Ryan and Mil are all home and living here again now. It's nice to have almost the whole house together again.

We went out for Thai at Doy Tao tonight. I know everyone has been raving about it at me for months, years perhaps, but I didn't think it was spectacular. Not as good as Anna Thai in my books. Still we had fun.

There were too many phone calls today. Most of which were a little intense. Oh well. You get that.

We had a fascinating small group yesterday on the current Government initiative in the Northern Territory. I'd write about what I think, but I want to go to bed. Maybe tomorrow.

But what was great about the small group is that we went away, after looking at the issue, and the issue of corporate sin, convicted that we are people who need to respond to the terrible situation of some of your fellow Australians. I love the Bible studies where you come away feeling convicted, and convicted as a group rather than as an individual. Maybe the rest of the group didn't feel the same as me, but it felt like it.

Hopefully our conviction will translate into action.

Today I spent the day doing a mail out with Nathan. My goodness mail outs take a long time. Still we had fun, and I love our colour laser printer at work. It makes things so much more pretty.

I think I've come out of a CD buying drought four new CDs in 3 days. That's pretty good. On Sunday I got out of the post a new Counting Crows live cd, Rebel, Sweetheart by The Wallflowers. Today I bought Minutes to Midnight by Linkin Park and The Cost by The Frames. Yep, I'm gonna pretty musically content for a while I think.

I also went to see Order of the Phoenix. Last week was such a hard week knowing I couldn't go see the film. I almost cried myself to sleep most night. So getting to see Harry today filled me with glee. I would almost be willing to say this was the best Harry film so far. Harry wasn't nearly as annoying in the film as he is in the book. I only wanted to slap him a little bit.

The wand fights were really cool. And I loved the sets. The score was pretty good too, although I miss the Harry Potter theme. And there were only one of two silly lines in the script, it was very well written. At least I thought so.

I loved the look of the Ministry of Magic.

So I'm impressed. Well done Potter People.

What I want to know is, if water boils at 100 degrees Celsius, and at that point turns to steam, why does my shower steam even though I'm not showering in boiling water?

Camp two was the young adults camp for my church. I went as a camper rather than anything official.

Benny came and picked me up from the church with Carmen and Kathleen and we had a rollicking good trip down to Picton.

The camp was about "Understanding Intimate Relationships and Sexuality" which meant it was quickly dubbed "Sex Camp".

The food was good.

On Saturday we had 3 older couples come and share about their stories and give advice on marriage and life and stuff. Which was nice, they had good stories. Though it felt a little irrelevant to me because it's not where I'm currently at. I'm more preoccupied with doing single well than marriage well at this stage. I'm not even preparing for marriage.

Now that I've said that, I'll probably get married next week.

Today we had a guy come and share about Sexuality and Spirituality. It was a good seminar though I think I'd probably thought about it all before in different places.

Except he did tell us we should all ask ourselves 3 questions for some reason. (I think it was something to do with finding your identity and healing)

1. Who am I?

2. Where am I going?

3. Who am I going with?

About which I first thought "I can't be bothered answering them." I think I'm lazy when it comes to introspection. And then I realised I can't be bothered because I'm not all that interested in the answers. But I have answers for you. So now I will bear myself to the world on my blog.

1. I am me.

2. Wherever God sends me.

3. Whoever comes with me.

That might seem lazy, but I think it's the truest answers I can find. Life will happen, and I will be who I will be. I'll do my best to be obedient to God and everything else will slot in.

But other than that, the seminar was good. I do always like talking about sex. I'm not sure why. I guess it's interesting.

The rest of the camp was good. We played good games. Nathan and I pretended to beat each other up. John and I played bread roll pranks on each other. Or at least I bread roll pranked him. He put a bread roll in my jacket hood. So I put one in his pillow slip, bed, bag, on his dashboard and in his glove box. I'm not sure he's found them all yet. When we woke up this morning he discovered the one in his bed when I suggested he look. He'd slept the night with a bread roll in his bed and not noticed. I was pretty pleased with that.

I came home and did church. Church was special. For some reason I found it really easy to engage with the worship tonight. I was more focused on God than I usually am. So I was thankful for that. I'm not sure what was different but it was good.

I hung out at Maccas after church with the youthies. Hooray for my youthies.

I really enjoyed my weekend, I loved spending time with familiar people. After a week of living with 90 people I didn't know, a weekend with 30 people I knew was great.

Now however the bed of mine is calling.

So I'm now the camp king. I haven't slept in my own bed since Friday last week. But I had my pillow with me this past week, so that brings a little bit of home with me where ever I go.

Camp one was a week long camp for random high school kids who are mainly from the area where I work. They may not be random, but as far as I can tell they all just come from seeing ads at their schools and coming with their friends.

So I spent a week with about 70 young people and 20 leaders. I was the speaker. It was an interesting dynamic for me because the camp thing feels more like work than a novelty these days. Which is ok, especially since it is my work. But you come at the whole experience differently. I quickly discovered early on in the week that I didn't really feel like being on camp. Not because I didn't like the people, or the camp, I just felt like having the holidays. I wanted the freedom to wake up when I wanted, eat when I wanted, go to bed when I wanted, go home when I wanted. And I wasn't really in the mood to be surrounded by people for a week.

But I figured, I didn't really have a choice about being there or not so I would just have to have the best time I could.

And in the end I had a pretty good time despite how I was feeling.

The camp itself was a really good camp. The directors were good at their job. They're a husband and wife team who are passionate and really focused on the gospel. They have lots of love for their leaders and the young people. It was special to see.

James was my room mate and the program director. He was a tireless worker for the camp, and did his job well. Plus he was a good roomie. I liked spending the week with him.

The leaders were a good bunch. Only one of them I knew before I came on the camp. They seemed to know what they were doing. There were no real doofusses in the team which is always a worry with groups like that. But I liked them all. I didn't really get to know them all, but I liked them all.

I spoke on the topic of "Jesus Fact or Fiction". It was a mainly evangelistic series, but I did a bit of stuff for the Christians too. There was a good response from the campers and team. A few of the campers became Christians, people laughed at my jokes. I was pretty pleased.

I spent most of my time with the campers doing camper activities. I figure while being the speaker on a camp you always have the option to be the "celebrity" and only do the stuff that interests you and disappear when you feel like it, I figure the more time you spend with the campers the more effective your message will be. Unless you're knob and then it's probably best just to leave them alone.

I did take time out a little to prepare my talks for each day, when I would inevitably fall asleep. But apart from that I was there doing everything. I liked it.

I did go Ice Skating. It was better than the last time. I was only on the ice for about 20 minutes, but it was long enough for a bit of healing.

We had a day of running around the City doing scavenger hunts.

We had a movie night watching a film called The Librarian: Quest for the Spear which was an action movie about a Librarian. Lesley you'd love it. But it was pretty bad. Funny in it's badness, but bad none the less. I hear it's a trilogy, so I'd quite like to watch the other two now, just to experience it all.

There were some kids on the camp that were children of various adult leaders who were good fun to play with. We watched movies together, jumped on the trampoline, and played chasings. I like kids.

I liked the campers too. I didn't remember all their names. There were one of two challenging personalities. But you always get that. And you grow to love those ones too. However I generally find it hard not to like teenagers, so I guess it's pretty obvious that'd I'd like these ones too.

I'm not sure what else to say about the camp. It was quality, well done team.

I went back to church afterwards, at some food and slept. Then it was off to camp two.

Just had a two hour sleep. Now I'm off to Camp Two! Yip!

I'm pretty hot!

I'm off to do two camps now. I won't be home till Sunday.

First I'm off to speak on a teen camp till Friday. Then I'm off to the Church's young adults camp on the topic of sex. So pretty much, I'm going to be the camp king. And by Monday I'm going to be stuffed.

Don't miss me while I'm gone. Send me SMSs and I'll feel loved (though I can only sneek a look so that I'm not caught with the phone. I'm going to put my phone in a condom and swallow it to get it into camp) And be my friend of Facebook. I want to be popular when I get home.

That's all. Have a good week, world.

I'm about to go on camp for a week and I'm just looking at the list of things to bring and not bring. The letter has clearly told me:

Please note that Camp does not allow any of the following:
Mobile phones, computer games, iPods, alcohol, cigarettes or drugs.

One wonders if the penalty for bringing an iPod or mobile on camp is the same as bringing a kilo of coke.

So I'm going on Camp tomorrow. I have 6 talks to do.

And I now have three done, and three almost done. So I am pretty happy. A bit more typing and prodding and I'll be there. I may not even be up late tonight.

In other news I went and had the rest of my jabs for Kenya today. Yellow Fever, Meningitis, and Cholera. So now I'm pretty much walking immunity. Bugs can't hurt me. Yeehaa!

I'm trying to figure out where to go for our Youth Group camp. I want to go for $100 or less but it's really hard.

There is one place that looks good, which we could do for under $100. They have one of the longest flying foxes in Australia but to do that would put the price of the camp up to about $115. Plus it'd take up about 3 hours of camp time which is a lot really. But I don't want to go there if we can't go on the flying fox because it would be so sad to be near such a big flying fox and not be allowed on it!

Grrr.

Ryan pointed out that the main sex symbol of Transformers is meant to be about 16 years old. It was at that point that I realised that she wasn't attractive at all. And I retro-actively refused to have ever found her attractive.

Take that you conniving Hollywood-types!

Just so you all know, the actor is 21. She can legally drink and show cleavage.

I got my steak today.

I had a "Youth Minister's Fraternal" with Mitch and Graham today. I've never called it a Youth Minister's Fraternal before, but Kathy in the office suggested it because it sounds more official than it's real name of a "Bitch and Moan Session". I did enjoy the catch up. I rarely see other youth ministers. And even less rarely ones I'm friends with. So it's special to see people who are doing the same as me.

I have 5 talks to prepare for next week's camp between now and Saturday evening. I got most of the way through talk number one today. I'm sure I'll get the rest done soon.

I was home alone tonight so I hung out at the Wrights. Helen cooked a winner vegetarian lasagne and we watched disk one of season 6 of The West Wing. It was good to have the Bartlett administration back. And I think this season isn't looking as silly as the last one.

When I was walking home, I was walking down a dark back alley and I had my iPod in. I got chased down the street by a couple with a lot of change in their pocket. I heard their change, but I didn't really pay much attention to them. Till they were really close and I thought they may have been talking to me. I took my iPod out and said "Sorry?"

"Oh we just had someone prowling around our courtyard, we thought it might have been you." the woman said.

"Oh ok." I replied.

"Sorry if we scared you" she responded.

"No worries" I told them.

"We're trying to find a stalker" said the man. And then they ran off.

It was odd.

Now I'm home, and I didn't see any stalkers.

I went to Maccas today with the youth and tried to stuff a whole cheeseburger in my mouth. It didn't fit. Almost though.

When we got back from Maccas they all stole my shoes and I got beaten up by a bunch of 13-year-olds. Happily I like them or I would have been annoyed. As it worked out I enjoyed the fun of chasing my shoes around a soggy park.

I spent most of the rest of the day working on my sermon. It was nice to have a day to fiddle with it. To move things around and tweak it.

But when Church came, God did stuff, and I didn't get on till about 7:45 and all the nice stuff went out the window, and I had to edit the sermon as I went. People said it was good, though I didn't like it very much. But that might have been because I was in a bad mood.

I went to First Sunday feeling rather unsocial and wondering why I was going. But I ended up enjoying it. I hid in the kitchen and it was safer there.

I drove home with my friend Damien Rice.

If I squeeze my grape, then I drink my wine
Coz if I squeeze my grape, then I drink my wine
Oh coz nothing is lost, it's just frozen in frost,
and it's opening time, there's no-one in line - Damien

I have decided that I'm getting worse at writing sermons.

I started at the keyboard for this one yesterday. I've been working on this one for two weeks.

I'm only now though going to actually write it.

Although this could be because I've had parties the last two nights, a super-awesome movie on Thursday, small group on Wednesday, day off on Tuesday, dinner with the Gowies on Monday and Once Was Lost for 18 months before that. And I only ever manage to write sermons at night. So really, I haven't really had the time. Till now.

Hurrah!

Lucky, I found a structure that I liked driving to the party tonight, until I got busted by a red-light camera. There were no cars around, and I looked at the green for the other direction and thought it was for me. It wasn't. Oops. Anyway, that ruined my train of thought. And cost me 3 points and $300. Gosh, that's like 4 tanks of fuel.

Party was fun though.

I dressed as Martin. I was from Peru. I looked hot.

Was awesome! So damn cool. I was grinning like like a school boy who grins for most of the film. It was so cool. Fighting robots, military jets and tanks and helicopters and guns. Yeah baby!

Oh I want to see the film again!

Only silly thing was John Turturro's character. Everything else was uber-super-kick-ass-spectacular.

Actually there were one or two other silly things, but still, not much.

I want Optimus Prime to be my friend.

The Wireless Router at home borked. So I have no internet at home.

So now I blog here though.

Off to see Transformers tonight! Yeah baby!

I stuck up a new Tabitha in case you're interested.

I got a cold. Bah.

Happily and sadly today was a day off, so it didn't make any dent in work. But it did make a dent in day off enjoyment.

Still I was determined to enjoy myself, so I hired Lethal Weapon 2 to satisfy the craving I got for the film on Friday. It was special, I like that movie.

I was then planning on watching World Trade Center but decided to watch an episode of Prison Break before it. I accidently pressed play all on the DVD and ended up watching 8 episodes. I'm now two episodes from the end of the season. Gosh. I know I complained about it before, but after they had that riot episode, I was back on the wagon.

I need to decided if I finish the show tonight or leave it for another day.

It's a hard choice. I have to work tomorrow so I don't want to stay up too late. Then again, I didn't get up till 11am today. So, hmm. Tough.

Goodness me the weekend started a long time ago.

I spent pretty much all of Thursday, Friday and Saturday trying to burn DVDs for the show. But I blogged that.

Once Was Lost was good. I enjoyed it. I think in many ways the show is our best project so far. We've come a long way in the past few years.

Being that I'm the DVD man (I pretty much have the whole show under my control!) I got to be in the sound castle at church, which I think is the best spot in the building. The sight lines in our church aren't very good for dance, so being up high means I get to see everything that goes on. Probably we should sell tickets to the sound booth for lots of money. It'd be like "Get the chance to see the premiere with the Director of Photography and the PowerPoint guy, and actually see the show!"

But what was I saying? Oh yes it was good. I think it all fitted better than anything else we've done. The dances I think were better. I enjoyed them especially the Apple dance, the mirror dance and the stomp. Whacking a drum covered in water that's back lit by a blue light looks cool. And the film all looked better. It most definitly sounded better. And I think Matt successfully managed to achieve his original vision, which was a task and a half, and I'm most impressed. Plus people responded to God so what more could we ask for?

Matt, Helen, Sal and Beck, youse did a wonderful job. Thanks for letting me hang out on the production team with you for a year and a half.

Being that I didn't write or direct the film this year, I felt less emotionally involved. Which made it all a lot less stressful. I felt like I could just watch the show and enjoy it, rather than worry too much about how everyone was feeling (though so far it seems everyone was feeling pretty good). I guess it's the life of a techy.

On Saturday night Matt and I slept over in the church to protect it from thieves. Everything was good, though not overly comfortable, till about 4am when I woke up because I heard a car drive down the drive way. It stopped, and people got out. I heard them check one of the doors, it was locked, so I listened as they walked around the building. I could hear them talking as they came to another door, they tried it and this time it opened. I heard as they walked into the church building.

I decided that now they were in the building I should probably confront them, so I hopped out of my sleeping bag and saw two guys wearing dark clothes and beanies holding a torch at the back of the church. "Hey!" I said as I walked to intercept them.

"We're security." One of them said.

"Oh you're security." I replied. I didn't know that 4am encounters with would-be robbers brought out my sarcastic side, but I guess when I have to fight off intruders my wit is my greatest weapon. However I'm not sure what I meant with my remark. I think it just seemed rather impossible to me that these two men in my church could be both thieves and security at the same time.

But by the time I got to the man I saw he had a badge on his jacket for the church's security company. So I said something even more witty like "Oh yes, you are security, I can see your badge." Damn Security people looking like thieves.

And then I told them what we were doing and they left and I had successfully defended the church from the people who protect the church. Matt managed to stay in bed the whole time. He only woke up when I said "Hey!". I'll tell ya, if Australia ever gets invaded and we have to go to war, Matt is gonna want me watching his back.

Last night after show number two we had a party at Liam's house. I have not much to say but I enjoyed it. I sat on two seats then went home. Lucky I had good people sitting next to me.

I'm sitting in the dress rehearsal for Once Was Lost now. Things are turning out alright. I started creating the DVD for tonight's show at 11:30pm on Thursday night. I finished at 1:30pm this afternoon. Things aren't meant to take that long. I did sleep in case you're wondering. I get to sleep while things render. It's just a long, long time.

Anyway, I'm hungry and looking forward to the break, so I can get lunch/dinner.

I wish I had a better DVD creator. Maybe it wouldn't put glitches in the sound too. Grr.

Show should be good though.

I had a doctors appointment to get my jabs at 9:40 this morning. But my doctor has failed to materialise. So they bumped me back to 2:30pm. What am I doing up this early then?

I'm not sure if today went as planned because I'm not sure what the plan was.

I got given my fatty hard drive last night so I could put the finishing touches on Once Was Lost. I spent an hour or two working on that, put it on to render for the DVD then went to bed. But as is the case these days, it'd crash on a regular basis. So I'd hop up at some horridly cold hour, restart the computer, put the file on to render and go back to sleep.

Mil and Martin left for South America this morning so I heard all their many farewellers stomping around at some silly hour. Then at about 7am I heard our phone ringing. I was only half awake and I though "Someone should get that". The phone kept ringing and I thought "Someone really wants to talk to Mil and Martin." The phone kept ringing and someone started banging on the door. I thought, as I remained mostly asleep, half dreaming "Gosh, now they have to answer the phone and answer the door." Then someone outside the house started shouting "Tom! Tom!" And I thought "Wow! That person wants to see me. I hope someone lets them in."

And then it dawned on me that maybe, there was no-one else home. So I forced my self to wake up and sure enough the phone was ringing, someone was banging on the door and shouting for me, and there was no-one else home. It was Stella, she had left money in our house, she was locked out and she had a cab waiting for her. The phone was ringing because Jo, Martin and Matt were taking it in turns to call from the Airport to try and wake me up, because they knew Stella was locked out. Apparently they rang 14 times before I let Stella in and she answered the phone.

I doubt I'd be any good in a fire.

Now that I was awake I checked the render, it had crashed so I put it on again and went back to sleep.

After I got up the rendering was still crashing.

It kept crashing right up until 1:20pm. This was the time that I had to leave to go to my exam. Which I had been planning on studying for today, but I was attending to DVD creation today.

While I sat in my exam I was more interested in whether the film was rendering or not.

I reckon I passed though. Not by much though. However, I could fail. It's certainly not beyond possibility.

When I got home the film had rendered! Woo!

Then I just had to make the DVD. Unfortunately that decided to take a long time too. From pressing the "Build" button on my DVD burning program it took about 3 hours. I was expecting maybe an hour. Hour and a half if things go bad.

I was late to the dress rehearsal.

But I did get time to do my chores, cook dinner, hang out my washing, do some work for youth group, finish a puzzle we have downstairs. So time was not wasted. Still I wish I hadn't spend all day making a DVD.

Happily I'm home from the dress rehearsal with a bunch of changes to make for the next DVD for Saturday. Hooray! I'm going to start work now.

Oh boy, did I have a social day today!

I stayed at Mum and Dad's last night so I could have breaky with Mum this morning. We went out to the Field of Dreams and had toasted muesli. She's good my Mum.

I came home and met Ryan and Martin. We headed out to the cinemas to meet Jon and see Oceans 13. It wasn't a bad film. A lot better than the second one. Not as good as the first. We caught a taxi home which was fun. Probably because I would never think to catch a taxi. Plus taxis are warmer than buses.

Tonight I went over to Kemp's place for dinner. That too was happy. Jo cooked a fabbo dinner, especially the roast veggies. We had good talks and drank Coke.

I drove home in the "cyclonic" winds. Though apart from getting blown from one side of my lane to the other once or twice, it didn't feel all that cyclonic.

Guess who just spent $70 on socks and underwear.

Yep. I'm going to be good for a while.

The rain is bad for our locks. It makes them expand or something.

Yesterday afternoon I had just got home and was walking up the street after parking my car when Jo called me to find out where I was. She was walking down the other end of the street and didn't have her keys with her.

Happily we met at our driveway and I tried my keys in the locks of our two doors. But alas, drought is good for accessability to my house, rain is not. So we were locked out in the rain.

Knowing there was no use sitting in the rain till someone came home, we trudged off in search of a cafe to sit in for the next few hours till someone came home. We ate lunch and drank chai. It is a good thing living so close to so many cafes. It would have been a highly pleasent experience. I do like to spend time with my sister, except all I want do was lie on a couch with my book. But alas we were marooned in a dingy (wonderfully dingy) cafe. Still if there is anyone worth spending two hours on a wet Saturday with, it's Jo.

Finally Mil came home, we saw her drive past the cafe, and we got let in. But there was no time for couches and books. It was off to the Keith and Stella farewell do. That was an increasingly enjoyable night. After doing my duty and putting Hannah to bed (which included a 30 min nap or so for myself) I felt much more able to face the rigours of socialising. I did enjoy the people and I only got mildly abused for being an Anglican. Good stuff I reckon.

I did go to see the local high school's Season of Performing Arts. Although I didn't go to the whole season. Just one night really. Tonight.

I think I was a little underdressed to be going to the theatre, but I forgot I was planning on going when I got dressed. Plus, I was warm in what I was wearing.

But I always enjoy going to SOPA. It's good to see all the crew from church performing, and seeing them in a different context. Plus I get to see all the people from Scripture and people I meet here and there.

I couldn't find anyone to go with, so I bought a ticket by myself. When I sat down, it was just me surrounded by an ocean of chairs. The people in the auditorium who a knew (which was quite a lot) all thought my nigelation was pretty funny. But happily Pip was in the same loner situation as me and came and joined me. So now I had a friend in the sea of empty chairs. It was a much better out come.

Post-SOPA was a Maccas visit with Tim, Courtney and Nathan. Nothing wrong with a bit of late night Maccas and silliness. That's what I always say.

And there is a blog post.

After a tip from some of the youth, I did just discover StumbleUpon. It's amazing. It promises to bring a whole new level of success to my future procrastination. I figure what better way to spend a public holiday than learning how to waste time more effectively when the holiday is over.

So far the greatest discovery of the say is this site which is probably one of the most important sites on the internet.

Done.

Perhaps I didn't do a real good job. But I reckon I'll pass at least. And now I can sleep.

Plus I even wrote 92 words over my minimum! I'm amazing.

I'll properly check it in the morning.

I am happy to announce that I am now starting my only assessment for the semester 1 week, 6 days and 5 hours after it was due in and 19 hours before it needs to be handed in if I don't want to fail.

Hooray.

57 words down, 2,193 to go.

I came home rather happy tonight for some reason. I'm not sure why. But I was in a good mood and then I ate two McCain's frozen meals and I was even happier.

That's nice.

Is it just me or is Avril Lavigne's new song one of the dumbest songs to come out in years?

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Is she 12?

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger
Cause I can, cause I can do it better
There s no other
So when's it gonna sink in?
She’s so stupid
What the hell were you thinking?!

It's a dodgy premise for a song. I'm not sure you should glorify stealing someone's boyfriend. But worse are that the words are just appallingly bad. At least Lips of an Angel sounded like a good song (if you like that "I wish I was Chad Kroeger" kinda thing) But this song is just dumb. Like can she think of a better justification for stealing someone else's man than "She's so stupid".

Though I reckon if I was in Kindergaten I'd love singing this song. It's fun to shout things like "Hey! Hey! You! You!". Lots of joy to be had there. Except perhaps for the bit where Avril describes what she does to some mothers. I'm not sure Kindergateners should be singing that kind of thing.

During last week, one of the busiest weeks I can ever remember having, I started to get a cold. I decided it would be good to try and hold it off by sheer will power. So I did. From Tuesday to Saturday all I got was a sore throat. But then at about 10pm on Saturday night is hit me. I think maybe my body was waiting till I got "Once Was Lost" out of the way.

Anyway, it was one of the badder colds that knock you around and make the whole world disappear under a pile of snot and brain fog.

I wrote my sermon on Saturday night in that cold fog. And went through the whole of church life on Sunday like that. Preached about healing, sick. I thought that was rather funny. I was prayed for before the preach but it didn't make me well.

After church and the after church social I went to the shops to buy supplies for today's scripture seminars and to get some cold and flu medication. Sadly what I thought were cold and flu drugs turned out to be herbal tablets called "Cold and Flu Fighter". On the packet it says "May help relieve symptoms" which seems like a waste of time if you ask me. All sorts of things may help relieve symptoms but I'm not gonna pay $10 for them.

Anyway I came home, ate some microwaved butter chicken for dinner and took my herbal silliness and went to bed. I started to get the shivers like I had a temperature and after about an hour of stupid sleep I woke up feeling like I was going to vomit. Then I thought to myself "No I've got a cold, colds don't make you vomit" and tried to go back to sleep. But about 20 seconds later I realised "No, I really am going to vomit." And I only had time to stick my head over the side of my bed before I vomited on my floor.

I blame the herbal stuff.

Feeling there was more coming, I headed to the bathroom. I positioned myself over the toilet bowl, but then vomited with such force that only half made it into the toilet the other half ended up on the bathroom floor and walls.

I think this must have woken my sister up because she arrived at the end of the corridor and said "So this is what happens when you church prays for healing."

I spent the next half hour cleaning up myself and the bathroom. My amazingly kind and wonderful sister cleaned up the floor of my bedroom. And thank God we have floor boards. Happily that was only a little spew. Except I did manage to blow chunks on my mobile. But she cleaned that too. She's a way good sister.

Today I went and ran Scripture Seminars at the High School near Church. But that was rather tough. I was feeling rather horrid and found that controlling a class when you have no voice isn't all that easy.

After that though I came home and lay on the couch, slept and watched Flags of Our Fathers. It was most pleasant in that "I'm sick" kind of a way.

Tomorrow is off too. I'm hoping I'm feeling gooder tomorrow so that I can enjoy myself. Maybe I'll eat steak.

I finally finished editing the film (though I'll discover all my mistakes tomorrow). Now all that's left before tomorrow's dress rehearsal is to burn it to DVD. Woo!

The good thing about it getting dark earlier these days is that you think it's later than it is, and then you have more time than you think you do.

It's lovely.

To celebrate that today (Tuesday) was a day off Ryan and I brought pop-corn and Coke and watched Deja Vu on the big lounge room wall. It was lots of fun. The film was quite silly, but I got suspense butterflies so it can't be all bad. Actually I quite enjoyed it, there was guns, explosions, hummers, and secret government agencies. The perfect Tuesday afternoon movie.

So I was going to write an exigetical essay tonight. It's due in tomorrow. It was going to be on John 3:1-15. Seeing as I have so much to do at the moment, I had been preparing for it for at least 4 days. I'm working smart you see. I read my commentaries, I did lots of thinking. And tonight after a lot of procrastination, I was ready to start writing. In fact I did start writing, I wrote:

"1-2 - John opens up his story of Nicodemus’ visit..."*

And then thought "I should go find out how long this needs to be" and found my assessment sheet and it turns out the essay should be on John 1:37-46, not 3:1-15.

So now I'm not going to write the essay tonight, instead I'm going to edit this film.

I'll write the essay next week. Or the week after.

*That sentence probably may not have made it into the actual essay, I was just getting some words on paper. But then again, I'm rather lazy so the first 2,250 words that come out can very easily be the only ones when it comes to essay writing.

My car got fixed today. It had been running on 3 cylinders for ages. Driving was a fine art of balancing the accelerator somewhere between full and on the floor. I was getting good at overtaking at 50km/h in an 80 zone.

Now though, oh she's a different beast. With all four cylinders running, it's like I'm driving a V8. I just touch the accelerator and she flies. I feel like I could do anything. She could be a racing van. I could take her to Eastern Creek and drive with the boys in the SSs and XR8s. It'd be way sick.

So I lay in bed this morning thinking about writing a book, as I do from time to time.

Not really because I want to, but because I would really like to be a itinerant preacher at some stage. But the way to actually be able to do that and support yourself is to be popular. The main ways to get popular on the speaking circuit is to pastor a mega church or be a famous Christian author.

I doubt I'm ever going to pastor a mega-church. So I guess it'll have to be writing a book. Though I don't really have anything to write about.

I'll just publish my blog and call it "Youth Pastor Blogs: The Intimate Thoughts of the Youth Pastor a mega-Youth Group". In fact I might do that on Lulu just for funnies. Or I could publish my sermons and call it "Meditations on Glory: Sermons from T.J. French" or something pretentious like that. I'd call my self T.J. because that sounds smarter. I think the lazy route is a good one.

However being lazy isn't really going to get me on Koorong's top 10.

Actually I'm not all that interested in being on Koorong's top 10 at all. I don't even really mind if I don't make it big as a preacher. I'd just like to be able to survive. So maybe it'll just be check-out hunk by day, preacher by every forth weekend.

However if there was something I knew about that I wanted to write about I guess I would. Any ideas folks?

Last night we had a house meeting. We spent about 45 minutes talking about food shopping again. We talk about food shopping all the time. We've been living together for over a year and we still can't work out how to shop for food.

Oh well. We'll get there one day.

Fondue at youth group tonight. Yes. Like fondue.

Some friendly parents gave me U2 by U2 which is one of my favourite books in the whole world, and now I own a copy. So generous. I like people.

I have this feeling that something significant happened today, and can't remember what it is. Maybe something significant did happen and I just missed it.

Oh well. Hopefully I'll find out tomorrow.

I said something quotable tonight. A sound bite that as soon as it fell out of my mouth I thought, "Gosh, I wish I'd preached that."

It was something about God's plan for our lives and living life to the fullest. But I can't remember what.

I have realised I rarely talk about how I'm feeling on my blog anymore (I realised that years ago). As the blog became more public, I became less so.

But let me tell you how I'm feeling right now:

Sleepy
Content
Peaceful
and every 2 hours of so
Frustrated
and
Perplexed

So there you go. If that's not vulnerability, I don't know what is.

I have to be up at 5am tomorrow to finish shooting this film. Finally.

Good night my friends.

So I made it to the conference yesterday and today. It was with Dr Arch Hart. He was good. Spoke well, he was interesting, he told funny stories, he taught me about the brain. Did you know, in brain measurement terms, the only thing more pleasurable than sex is cocaine? That's what I learnt today.

Stephen and I ate lunch yesterday in Top Ryde food court. It was just near the conference. I must say I haven't been to an uglier, more depressing food court in my life. It was wonderful. I had some chicken stir fry thing that was tasty but sloppy. It did stir the pleasure centre of my brain. Happy is the man who eats bad food in a tacky food court. Or maybe it's just me that enjoys it.

I've been well getting into The Frames lately.

Martin and I just watched Crank on DVD. It was pretty silly. Not silly like Monty Python. Silly like a poor quality action film.

I have a conference on Burn Out today, tomorrow, and Thursday. Yesterday I wasn't really feeling like going. I was feeling way too tired and like if there was anything in my life that was going to burn me out, it was going to be a conference on burn out.

Anyway, I was thinking about not going today, seeing as I usually have Tuesdays off, and I felt like I needed it. But I decided to go. I went to bed last night having made the decision to get myself to Ryde by 9am for this conference.

I dreamt all last night about being busy. It wasn't very nice.

Then my alarm went off at 7am and the first thought that went through my mind was "I hate Tuesdays" which is probably something I haven't thought the whole time I've had Tuesdays as my day off. I turned my phone on. It went "Beep-Beep Beep-Beep", I had a message. I thought "It's probably someone asking me to do something." Just before I got out of bed, I read the message. It was Stephen (acting-boss) saying he needed to rest and he wasn't going to the conference today.

Oh boy was that a good message to read.

I went back to bed and slept till 11 and didn't dream about business at all. Actually I think I dreamt about rocket launches (like the Apollo rockets).

I didn't go to the conference today. I went to the movies.

I'll go tomorrow.

I was talking to John about smart people tonight. So I came home and did some IQ tests.

One told me I had an IQ of 145. The other told me I a lot less. I like the first one. According to that one, I'm a genius!

However both only asked me 30 questions. 30 questions wouldn't seem to be enough to properly judge your IQ. Especially when the one that gave me a higher score was all true and false. So I think it's silly. But still it does make me feel good about myself. Now I can walk around and look at people and think, "According to one IQ test, there's 99.97% chance I'm smarter than you." And then I'll laugh at them and challenge them to game of chess.

I complain whenever I write a sermon that it gets harder every time. But I think I'll just decide that writing sermons is hard.

I did preach today in the morning and it went alright. It was on forgiveness which was a good topic. I realised I haven't spent much of my life feeling like I need to forgive people because I rarely feel like people hurt me. Happy way to live I guess.

I had about 4 conversations at church in a row about Bible things. It was kinda like speed ethical challenge. Which was kinda fun, except I had to remember that most of the answers I gave were going to have implications for what people did in their life. So I needed to makes sure I was taking it serously. I'm not sure how I did. I hope I wasn't to flippant.

The trailer for Once Was Lost has arrived!



Thank you David for making my computer work.

Nathan and I went for a very special meeting at the big new Homemakers SupaCenta! Which baffled me as to how you could make a building so big just for homemakers. People must really like making their homes on the Northern Beaches.

Anyway we were there for the food, which wasn't spectacular, but it was new so that's good.

The funnest part was getting distracted by the stacker game. Which Wikipedia now tells me I am destined not to win. But it was good. I felt like I almost won an iPod. Not that I need one, but fun anyway.

Rob Thomas' new song opens just like a worship song. Like a Matt Redman studio ditty. I'll tell ya, people used to think worship music was uncool, but it's leading the music revolution. You just watch.

As far as I can tell the Budget isn't all that much to get excited about. It looks more like a move to win voters from Labor than actually spending money right. "Tax cuts for everyone, especially Labor voters!" Anyone think there might be an election coming?

Where's the money for the environment. Like the serious money. $741 million isn't really going to do a lot for climate change. Not when we're spending $5 billion on University building projects. I have no problem with building projects, I just think that perhaps we could put the same amount of effort, or more, into saving our planet.

I would have loved to have seen more money go into foreign aid. How about having a shot at getting close to our 0.7% commitment? If we've got $13.6 billion surplus I reckon we might have a little to spare for the our less well off friends. $13.6 billion is over four times what we will spend on aid in the next year. And considering that we're doing to spend $22 billion on defense, it all leaves a lot to be desired.

(Thank you Ben for telling me about aid. No one else was talking about it. Silly SMH.)

I'm sure though there is good stuff in there. Like education is good. Though I'd be happy to see more money to public schools. And I quite like tax cuts personally, but I'd rather see money spent on good stuff.

And I'm always happy to see them spending money on film making. Well done Costello.

I'm not sure why they call some of these places internet cafes. I guess it's better than, dark smelly rooms, full of dark smelly people playing war games and watching anime.

I decided to indulge my love of dark smelly internet rooms and come here to do something with my day off. I couldn't quite stomach the idea of sitting at home watching Futurama. For some reason I feel like I have to leave the house to get the feeling that my day has been worthwhile. Plus the internet died which forced me out of the house.

I didn't mention that I saw Spiderman 3 on Thursday night. It was a most enjoyable experience, though I can't say it was a particularly good film. The action was fun, and it made me laugh. But really, why did Peter Parker have to have a few dance sequences? Can you imagine Bruce Wayne having a dance sequence? No. He's way too cool for that. So why give one to Parker? I think the production team must have just got bored and thought, "Let's throw in a few musical numbers and a bit of slapstick. That'll keep us interested." Oh well.

Jo made a treasure hunt for our house last night. It was way fun. She made clues and hid them all over the house. David and Mum joined us for half the fun. At the end the prize was Jo taking us all out for cake and coffee. Splendid! I had a banana smoothie and sticky date pudding. I walked home feeling pretty fat.

I always enjoy getting sticky date. I think just because peole say "I'll have a sticky date." And that appeals to my childish sense of humour.

Well it's past midnight now which means I'm no longer the Acting Senior Minister at church. Stephen will be back on deck in the morning, and we'll come under the watchful eye of a local minister. My week long reign has come to an end. It was an enjoyable week though.

I think my only extra job this week as Acting Senior Minister (that's a self-given title) was to do the announcements at the 6:30 service. I prepared and everything. But that got taken away from me when the Spirit moved and announcements got bumped to the back of the service. Why people think that the prompting of the Spirit is more important than my notices is beyond me, but there you go.

I was going to use the opportunity to announce a reworking of the Church budget to allow for a $30,000 staff allowance for Thai food and a new evangelistic program called "No Youth without a Jumping Castle". But sadly I could not. I guess I never got the chance to use my powers for good or evil.

Maybe next time we loose a Senior Minister and an Assistant Minister.

And she gives
I get
Without giving anything to me

Like a morning sun
Like a morning
Like a morning sun
Good good morning sun - Damien Rice

Yesterday I was about to drive to College and my car decided it needed more oil. At the moment my car is running particularly badly, so I decided not to push my luck by driving around with no oil.

So I went to the petrol station bought some oil, I drove back to the church to oil the car up, but realised I'd bought the wrong oil. I was too embarrassed to take it back to the petrol station so I walked to Woolies and bought the right stuff.

I then started work on my car. Normally putting oil in the car is a quick affair. Not in my car though. Because the engine is under the seat you have to lift the seats, take off different panels, unscrew this and that. It was lots of fun. I really liked getting in the engine, even if I wasn't doing anything remotely impressive. Then while I was there, I decided I might oil my door because that had been squeaking. And oil the other door. And tighten the back door.

Finally when I was finished, I'd spent about an hour and I was way too late for college. So I stayed at church and worked. In the end I think I had much more fun getting dirty engine grease all over my hands than I would have had at college. I think for the next few days my new career dream will be to become a mechanic. I could be the preaching mechanic. That'd be tops fun.

I heard the new single from Linkin Park's new album. I suspect they might be going the way all Christian artists went in the beginning of the millennium and releasing a worship album. Finally the secular world has caught on.

Check out the lyrics:

So let mercy come,
And wash away…
What I’ve Done.

"What I've Done" - Linkin Park

I went to teach Scripture today. I got out of the car, went around the to the passenger seat to get my badge out of the glove box, and proceeded to lock my keys in the car! Grrr! That's the forth time this year.

When I got my NRMA I thought, I probably won't need it, but my car might break down. Now I've called them out 4 times, and only because of my keys. I rather annoy myself.

What could have been a good discovery though, was that while I was looking for a shop to sell me some food while I waited for the NRMA to come, I found a Thai food shop! Thai food right near where I work. With $8 lunch specials none the less. This could revolutionize my working life.

Alas as, I think it was Helen said "Never eat suburban Thai". Though I might be paraphrasing. I went back and got it for lunch. It wasn't very good. And I now have ingested enough oil to refine it and run a small car for a week.

Oh well. I guess you win some and some taste disgusting.

I've been watching a bit of Prison Break lately. I've watched the first five episodes of season one, and I can't say I'm all that impressed. I'm not sure why everyone likes it. That main guy (Michael) really annoys me. He takes himself way too seriously. I want to shout at him "You're not as good as you think you are punk!".

Actually I don't really like any of the characters. Except for Lincoln, but only because he looks like someone I'd want to be friends with. Other than that, I doubt I care one way or the other what happens too him, he just mopes around.

The script leaves a lot to be desired too. Someone should tell the writers to stop using such kitsch lines. And maybe not to be so predictable.

All that said, I'll probably keep watching it. I've started now I probably have to finish it.

I regularly wish that Saturday was not the day before Sunday.

This has got to be the funniest news story I've read in a while. There are lots of people in Japan who have been fooled by poodle scaming scamsters. Their customers thought they were buying cut price poodles but they were actually sold sheep. They only figured it out when their sheep failed to act like dogs.

I read the story in Westfield food court and I laughed out loud. Sadly there was no one to share my mirth with, so now I share with you.

The thing about living in this house is that you have to learn to eat spicy food, because there is many a night when you get home late and the only leftovers in the fridge are things that'll melt your face off. Still, I reckon being able to eat hot food makes you more attractive.

I went and saw Disturbia yesterday. I was expecting to be your standard teen thriller fare. And it was. But I think it was some of the better teen thriller stuff. The best bit about it was that it was extremely youth orientated without looking like it was trying too hard. Like it used X-Boxes, PSPs, macs, iPods, mobiles much in the way that teen use them. And they were more part of the character's lives rather than just put in to make the film seem "hip".

Although it could have been trying too hard and I just didn't notice because I'm too old. But I thought it was fun. Plus I liked some of the banter. It made me laugh. A lot more than Bean's Holiday, I watched that today, that was a load of celluloid poop.

I had dinner with David tonight. He's a good man. We all played Emperor/Scum here in the Commie house and, boy, was there fun to be had.

This game has been floating around MySpace and I thought it was fun I'm giving it a go.

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. Write down the name of the song.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Lonely Soul (UNKLE)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Jangling Jack (Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Elevation (U2) - Everyone knows I love the tall ones

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Indestructible (Matisyahu)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Brownsville Girl (Bob Dylan)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Human Touch (Bruce Springsteen) - That's me, touch is my love language, baby

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
City Love (John Mayer) - Only the special friends think of me that way

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Desire (U2) - I'm not touching that

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Grey Ocean (Lior)

WHAT IS 2+2? - That's a stupid question
Message of the Cross (Delirious?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE? - I'm assuming that's best friend
Gravity (John Mayer Trio)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Shake Your Groove Thing (Some silly cover band) - Yeehaa

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Journey (Prayerworks) - Pffft

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Fire in the Belly (Van Morrison) - I'm going to own a dodgy Indian takeaway

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Jesus Walks (Kanye West) - I'm such a good Christian boy

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Stonehearted (Transport)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Backstreets (Bruce Springsteen)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
ABC (Jackson 5)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
English Summer Rain (Placebo)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Lilac Wine (Jeff Buckley)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Sanctify (Delirious?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Caring is Creepy (The Shins)

WHAT SONG WILL BE THE SUBJECT WHEN YOU REPOST?
Revival Town (Delirious?) - So much Delirious?, how embarrassing

I think maybe I should do the ol' Soul Survivor wrap up. Ever since my digital camera packed it in, things as photogenic as Soul aren't nearly as exciting to blog about.

Actually, I wouldn't really call Soul photogenic, except when the mist rolls in every night. That's when things look good, and you wish for your shutter skills and tools.

I think I'll just talk about the whole week in one big chunk, I can't be bothered trying to put things together in any ordered fashion.

The thing everyone has been asking me is "How'd Donny go?" So I guess I should debrief on the Donny experience.

Doing the show was lots of fun. My favourite time is always interviewing the guests. Especially when things go well. I think the interviews are where the magic comes out or it's the place where you crash and burn. But it feels good when Donny and the guest are bantering, the absurdities are coming out, and the audience is enjoying it.

Or there are times when everything just falls flat and you can't find anyway out. You're struggling to find the funnies, and the interest. You feel like the whole audience is just waiting for something to happen, but you've got nothing. That's tough. But that's the adrenaline of it I guess. Knowing you're out on stage in front of hundreds of people, no script, very little plan, and the only thing between you and boredom is the wits of you and the guest. Maybe it's like jumping out of a plane with no parachute hoping you'll grow wings.

Anyway, this year was a pretty good year for guests. Maaike from Holland was the find of the conference. She was a great guest, she gave as good as she got. She made Donny work hard for the audience. She really kept me on my toes. It was good fun.

Mike was fun as usual though I don't think it was our best year. Ben played well. He's a good sport.

The rest of the show was ok. Tabitha was quite tense this year. I think I found the line you can't cross with politically incorrect humour at Soul. While it's hard to know exactly what's going on from the stage, most nights the video would run and you could feel most people thinking "Is this actually funny? Should I be laughing at that?" I could be wrong, but I don't feel like people came with Tabitha as much this year.

I didn't hear any complaints though. Maybe they're yet to come.

Our live satellite feed segment was kinda fun, though I feel like we needed to spend more time on it. It wasn't as obvious as it should have been. Oh well. It wasn't bad, it just could have been a lot better.

The games were fun as usual. Some were more fun than others, but I do like to make a mess.

I generally end every year wondering what Donny actually does for the conference. The show rarely makes any important commentary (except perhaps in the videos), it really is mostly foolery. But I figured this year my job is to get people in the tent before the main meeting, and that happens, so I guess I'll count the year as a success.

On the rest of Soul...

I really did enjoy eating this year. Especially having bacon and egg muffins from the Kiosk in the mornings.

I didn't find much that was world changing this year. I might be more to do with where I'm at, rather than Soul. I did get challenged to keep working in faith to see God do stuff. It's easy to only pray prayers that are safe to pray. Prayers that you'll never know if they were answered or not. But I want to trust God in how I pray. I want to pray so I can see when God answers. I don't want to just believe God answers, I want to see God's answers. (There's the sermon line right there.)

I really enjoyed the week with my youth group. As usual that was the highlight of the week. They're much fun to spend time with. Perhaps because they're just as happy to be stupid as I am. And I think because they're so much more willing to be changed by God. To change an adult you have years of defenses and habits to break through. To change a teenager, God normally has a much more willing heart to work with.

I did like doing my seminar. I think it went pretty good. I didn't feel like it was earth-shattering, world changing stuff. But I guess I was trying to inspire people in the everyday, not put them on eagles wings. And that's God's job anyway.

And that's where I'll leave it.

Except perhaps to say, I did really like sleeping in my bed these past three nights.

I've left two voice mails today and mistook voice mail for email. So I've finished saying "Cheers, Tom" rather than "Thanks" or something. You reckon you'd figure out the difference between speaking and typing, but I guess not.

For all you Soulies out there who are wondering "You Never Let Go" is a Matt Redman song. Track two on his new CD. Now you can go get it and relive the fist pumping magic of those "never let go" main meetings.

I'm back from Soul. Just ate McDonald's. That's about I'll I've got at the moment.

I've been thinking about funny lately. With Soul Survivor coming up, I'm getting that usual re-occurring thought "What the hell are you doing?". Sometimes it occurs to me that I do a comedy show and that's a bizarre thought.

If someone like me were to tell me they did a comedy show I'd think "You're rather full of yourself aren't you. I bet you're not funny." You have to be pretty pretentious to think you're funny. Especially funny enough to take up half and hour of people's time five nights in a row. What's wrong with me?

So as usual I'm scared. But I guess it's a better place to be than confident. I'd probably suck if I was confident. Maybe I'll bomb this year and they won't ask me back. That'd solve some problems.

For the first time in the history of ever, I think Miranda Divine might have said something I agree with.

In her article here about the over-sexualisation of young people she actually seems to complain about something worth complaining about. Though feel free to read it and tell me what's stupid, it feels a little too good to be true.

Yesterday I was editing the videos for Soul and I watched one of this year's Tabithas and it started to make me uneasy. Uneasy because I'm worried that this one might be that little bit too offensive to so. A little bit too edgy. I'm quite liking the video, it makes me laugh, and I understand the point I'm making. But there is always the worry that other people won't get it and think you're saying the opposite of what you are.

Anyway, I guess I'll make a decision over the next few days.

But just in time for Soul I have uploaded a new Tabitha video. This was the first one ever made, so it's different from all the rest. It's a different look, a different voice. It looks a bit like a pilot I guess.

Anyway have a watch. It's a reminder of the days when Tabitha was a much tamer lady.



In other news I got an email from the costume hire place and the reason that they didn't return my emails is because the person I was talking to got killed in an accident two weeks ago. It's so sad. My worries that I might not get the costume I want seem rather petty in light of this now. But they'll let me hire the costume. So Donny should have the same ugly hair.

Death is stupid.

I've been doing Donny Jaffa stuff all day. I shot a new segment in the morning with Liam. That was fun, rather absurd. Now I've edited all of them, I finished editing the "Wisdom with Tabitha"s too.

Now all I have to do is put the actual show DVDs together, put the Breakthru' Artz DVD together, edit a teaser for "Pilgrim" and write my seminar, and then I'm ready for Soul. Easy!

Oh and I have to actually find Donny's costume. The costume shop that I hired it from got bought by a costume shop that hasn't opened yet. They said they'd hire me the costume anyway, but they've disappeared off the radar. They've stopped returning my emails and they don't answer their phone. It's a worry. Perhaps Donny's going to have to get a hair cut.

I went and saw John Mayer tonight. That's number 2. He played the Entertainment Centre. He's an awesome guitarist. Watching him play makes selling your soul to the Devil to have guitar skills seem pretty tempting. And he didn't seem so sleazy this time, though that may have been because I was a lot further away.

The support act wore very tight jeans. He had way too much wobble for my mild sensibilities.

We did visit Eating World before hand, which is always a treat if only for the overload of tacky atmosphere. I'm not sure how impressed my concert watching colleagues were, I hope they one day take their Grand Children and say "It all started on the night I saw John Mayer". And I hope Eating World doesn't change a bit.

Now I have no concerts to look forward to. Nothing's on the radar. Maybe it's time for Bruce Springsteen to come to Australia. And Michael Franti can come back too. And U2. Yeah that'd be the stuff.

Oh Gravity.
why can't we
seem to keep it together? - Switchfoot

It's a public holiday today! Thank God. I mean that, I thank God. The weekend that's been has been pretty tough. Mostly I spent the time in an empty house trying to find a sermon to preach on Sunday night.

I've never seen the house so empty as it was over this past weekend. I saw Martin and Matt for 10 minutes on Friday and that was it. No-one. No one else slept in the house till last night. There were tumbleweeds in our lounge room and cobwebs on every chair but mine at the dinner table. Normally this emptiness would be fantastic. I know I live in "Community". But being an introvert the idea of a whole weekend in a Community House with no Community in it is a marvelous one. I was intending on writing my sermon on Friday, then spending all Saturday to enjoy the quietness and the ability to walk around with no clothes on and pee with the door open. But the sermon wouldn't come. Not on Friday and not on Saturday.

On Saturday night I went and saw the CCC production of 3rd Day which was fun. But I had to go home to keep writing sermon. I can tell you by that stage I was starting to get pretty angry at God. I wanted to go out to dinner with friends in Dee Why, but no, I had to go sit in a cold, dark, communitiless house and tap out the ministry of the Word. I was ready to pull out a Psalm of lament and use it on His Eternalness. "My God, My God, why haven't you forsaken me?" Can't I have a long weekend like everyone else! I thought Easter was meant be a religious holiday but it's only people who work in religion who are working. I'm waiting for our pluralist society to start taking public holidays for solstices and Buddha Days, then I might actually get a day off, 'cause I ain't preaching about Buddha's resurrection, I can tell you that.

Anyway, the sermon didn't actually finish coming together till 6pm yesterday. Half an hour before show time. But I was happy with it. And this end of the sermon, I think it's worth the sacrifice. It is a privilege even if it hurts my brain and recreational life.

Yesterday afternoon I went out with Jo and Hannah for some family Easter excitement. Jo busted Hannah out of respite and brought her to meet me. We went off to McDonald's. It was nice, if you ignore the McDonald's bit. Jo helped me find my last illustration for the sermon. She suggested talking about the outing we were in the middle of, and it turned out to be a winner. Thanks Jo.

And while I'm on it, I just want to publicly correct what I said last night. When I preached I may have given everyone the impression that Hannah lives in an institution. She doesn't. She was just staying in respite for the weekend while Mum and Dad are in Vanuatu. My little sister lives with my parents. And they love her very much.

Hopefully that clears things up a little.

Anyway, today I slept in. I celebrated the end of Lent by buying some CDs. I had a beer with Phil. This is the joy of not having sermon to write.

Finally, I'm home, I've preached, I have two days off. I've been waiting for this all weekend. I'm quite happy.

I had a meeting with Nathan the SIM (Student In Ministry) on Thursday at Brooky Pub. It was cool. We went for about 3 hours. We cooked our own $10 steaks, had some drinks (though only one beer was consumed between the two of us because we're well behaved Christian men and you don't want to go planning your youth ministry under the influence or you'll get calls from parents saying "Why is my Child learning about Chuck Norris in Bible Study?" which you would have to reply "That may have been the Tooheys New that made that decision"), visited JB Hi-Fi (for legitimate Youth Ministry research purposes) and Nathan lent me a DVD or 16 on the way back to church. Plus we got the teaching planned, some pastoral care sorted out, and started on next terms socials. I reckon I should have more meetings like that. Productive and tasty.

So I'm looking at this weekend and a lot of my friends are going away. Jo, Ryan and Mil are all up in Byron. Along with David, Gemma, Keith and Stella. Martin is spending the weekend at The Great Escape. Mum and Dad have gone to Vanuatu. Howie and Jenny are off to Uluru on Sunday. Helen and Jon are off to Rockhampton. And well, I'm left here in Sydney with no plans except a few Church services.

Actually that's not true. I'm hanging out with a Gowie or two tomorrow night, and some Swans on Monday. But there will be a lot of time alone. I might edit some Tabitha. And I'll have lots of time to write my sermon. Hooray! Sermon writing! A wonderful substitute for friends. That's what I always say.

I made some Gangsta rap for youth group last week. I made it with Nathan the SIM. The rules were to make a song containing the words "Ernie" and "Methuselah". So this is what Nathan and I made.

Have a listen.

I made Kindergarten kid cry today. I was doing the Easter assembly talk today at the local primary school and part of my talk was to do lame magic tricks. Like I said I was going to make a blind person see, then I told a kid to close their eyes and open them when I clicked my fingers. Thus making a blind person see. They didn't think it was a very good trick.

For my finale I was going to bring a dead chicken back to life. I had a Woolworths chicken, cold, dead and in a plastic bag. I tried telling it to come to life and that didn't work. I tried dancing around it and that didn't work. It was when I started trying to give it mouth to mouth resuscitation that the kid started to cry. Poor thing.

Needless to say, the chicken is still dead.

I watched Blood Diamond and The Departed today. One at the movies, one on DVD. Leo was good in both of them. I reckon his character in Blood Diamond was probably the most interesting character I've seen him do. I really enjoyed him. The film was good, good action, and a conscience.

The Departed was excellent. I can see why it got Mr Oscar. So much good story and good acting and good characters and smartness. Good stuff I reckon.

I do like my days off.

I did Earth Hour on Saturday with Ryan. It was pretty fun. But the only lights we saw go out were the Harbour Bridge, but still that was exciting to see that disappear. The city was kinda cool without so many lights on, but it didn't fulfil my apocalyptic dreams.

We met Mum, Dad and Hannah on the bridge too, which was also fun. Hannah was happy to see us so it made me feel like a good brother.

This is a good series of teasers. It's for Bee Movie. The movie doesn't look very good, maybe because Jerry Seinfield has an annoying voice. But the teasers are good. They're treating teasers like a production in them selves. It's good. Have a watch.

In other news, there's a new Tabitha up.

Here she is:

After our new traditional monthly Thai lunch in Narremburn Dad and I went for a drive through the new Lane Cove Tunnel. That was fun. I like new bits of road especially tunnels, but most of all bridges. I hope they open a new bridge soon. But the tunnel was good. And I can't think of a better person to drive through a brand new tunnel with than my Dad.

I started blogging the other night about how I said "Good Bye" to my boss Steve. He left on Sunday after 4 years of leading our church. It was an odd feeling saying "Good bye". I'm not quite sure how you say it to someone who has been so significant in your life, to someone who was always your boss and sometimes your friend. I couldn't think of anything to say so I just said "Thank you for your leadership" and it just felt lame. We shook hands. That felt lame too. He said "I'm sure the new guy will be good. Your job will be safe. Actually, it won't, but I doubt he'll want to get rid of you." That was funny.

Anyway, it was just kinda surreal. On Monday I listened to the service from the day before. It was about 30 minutes of people standing up and talking about what Steve meant to them. That was nice. He was well loved.

On Sunday night he didn't come to the last service, though everyone thought he would. So they showed a Powerpoint of memories of him and his family, and people could stand up and share what Steve meant to them. But not many people did. I think maybe because it felt a bit like a funeral rather than a farewell.

Now the office without Steve is rather quiet. It's a little strange. It's not like he was around a lot when I was, but now, it just seems to have lost a bit of buzz. Like everyone was holding their breath till Steve left. On Sunday we exhaled, and now we're waiting to breath in again. How very strange.

Steve was a good pastor. He liked to make sure we were doing alright. I hope he and his family are doing alright now too. Holidaying I think. That'd be tops fun. I hope they like it.

I hope the new guy builds us a new building with television production facilities. I think it's a reasonable hope.

"Hi I'm Tom French and welcome to Church News..."

"Hicks appeared in court wearing an olive green outfit, and thongs on his feet. The judge warned his defence counsel that in future he should not appear in prison-type clothes, in order to make sure that his presumption of innocence was maintained." - SMH

One thinks that perhaps 5 years of being held without trial in an illegal offshore prison by a foreign government after being arrested in a different foreign country and being tried at a late night pretend trial would do more to destroy the "presumption of innocence" but that might just be me.

I hung my washing out on Saturday, just as the heat started turning into moisture. Now it's been raining on and off ever since then. There has been plenty of non-rain for my clothes to dry, but every so often the rain comes down just enough to make sure they don't. It's like a practical joke, but I'm not laughing. I think I felt my towel this morning on the line (because I have no dry towels now) and said something about a child of unwed parents. And that's not laughing.

We borrowed David and Sam's Wii for the visit of my Little Brother tonight. It's a bit of a novelty. The tennis is the most fun. The violent game Farcry (which I called "Farci" because I can't read) is annoying.

I like the sound of the tennis when you hit the ball. It's very satisfying.