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Hobbit Hugging and B-Grade Directors with a Gazzilion dollars

(Don't read if you haven't seen the film)

So it is time for me to reflect on Return of the King. All up it was a good film. Probably I'd say the most enjoyable of the three. But I think Fellowship is the best. It's the most flawless, the best told story, the least wanky.

There was so much damn stuff to squeeze into ROTK that I don't really mind that things were a bit different. Minas Tirith was awesome. Definitely the best location of the series. I emitted a little cry of delight when I saw it. If it's still around they should put a big airstrip for fighter planes on the top. Although that wouldn't look very nice.

The Witch King annoyed me a bit. He was so scary in the book, but he was a bit of a punce in this. He ran around screaming and then got killed. He said "No man can kill me" and so they got a woman to do it. That was silly. As was some of Legolas' prancing. He prances too much that bloke.

The second last scene was really nice. Very well done. I liked the ship floating away and I loved the hugs of the hobbit. It made me think I should do more hugging. Especially at important moments, like when I'm about to get on a boat and sail away from everyone and everything forever.

I was not inspired to jump on people's bed's though.

How cool was the bit where they lit all the fires on top of the mountains. More squeals of delight.

Denethor was underwritten. Quite shallow if you ask me. He was mad, but why? No one mentioned his seeing stone. And who keeps women and children in a city that's about to be blown up? And who let's them stand at the windows when there are orcs throwing dirty great rocks at them? Not me. If I ever get women and kids they're not going anywhere near the windows when there are angry orcs about. Actually if I was ever in that position they'd probably walk all over me.

"Get back from the window!"

"No Tom. The kids and I are staying right here. It's for their education"

"But the orcs are angry Honey."

"No Tom."

"Ok Dear. I'll just be out the back then."

But I don't want to go about complaining. How good was it when the Rohirrim road over the hill? Kick ass! And Theoden can be my uncle any day. I really liked the bit in Mount Doom. And on the side of the mountain when Sam said "Rosie Cotton, Dancin'. I woulda married Rosie. If I'd have ever married anyone, it would have been her." Ahhh. It made me go all mooshy and want to grab the hand of the person beside me but I don't think either Anmol or Mike would have appreciated that.

It was a good film. I had a lot of fun. The books are better. But hey, they made films not books. I would be willing to say best film of 2003. Then Nemo, then A Mighty Wind.

It was a lovely evening. It's good to find yourself in a cinema with some of your closest friends and family. I spent last night in one of my favourite places to be with some of my favourite people. Nyyyce.

It did often occur to me (especially while at David's house which had wonderful atmosphere), why would anyone hire Peter Jackson to make the films? He really hasn't done much good stuff. Nothing worth risking your whole studio over. I haven't seen any of his earlier films but from what I hear, they aren't great. So why does he get to do Lord of the Rings? To me it's insane. But it paid off none the less.

There are B-grade overtones coming through the films at times. Some of it is a little corny and there's an over use of slow motion. People shout things like "Frroooodoooo!" when they think Frodo is about to die. Stuff like that. All the ghosts look like, movie ghosts. Ghosts probably aren't really snot green.

But Peter Jackson paid off. He was good quality and he proved to be the man for the job. He did well. I like the films. He did a mammoth job, I would have gone insane. All respect to him.