Posted by Unknown |

I had my first full bottle of beer today. Tooheys New. I got bored while I was studying at the table in the living room and thought I'd get some rice crackers. I went and grabbed the usual half eaten packet you can find lying around my house. Most of the time they're seaweed.

While I was eating I thought "I need to be drinking something cold with these". There was nothing in the fridge so I sat back down to try and continue to learn about Acts. About two minutes later I remembered that we had cold beer in the fridge. Thinking it might relieve some of my boredom to try and drink a whole bottle of beer I went and got myself one. I got a Tooheys New because if there's any beer I want to like its that one. I really like the idea of going up to the bar and saying "Schooner of New, thanks."

I got to the table and tried to open it. I felt a bit un-manly when I couldn't just pop the top off with and easy twist. But I managed eventually. So I sat down to my study trying to feel contented with my beer and seaweed biscuits.

The first sip was alright. The second I thought "Yeah, I should be able learn to like this"

And then it all went downhill after that.

It was quite distressing. The beer tasted terrible. After every sip I needed two or three rice crackers. Soon they ran out and I was forced to drink without any foodal accompaniment. I tried big, long, gulps. They tasted bad. I made myself some raisin toast. They got burnt but they were my only hope. Finally after three burnt pieces of toast and lots of time between gulps I got my finished a bottle of beer for the first time ever.

The upside to all this is that I said I wasn't allowed to stop studying until the beer was finished. And as drinking the beer took so long, I got quite a bit of study done. And I was disliking the study so much that I continued to be inspired to finish the beer.

But still, after all that, I think I realise again that there is very little hope for me to ever join the general, beer-drinking, manly population of Australia. Probably not even the feminine, beer-drinking population of Australia. Shame, shame.

"Schooner of Coke, thanks"