Posted by Unknown |

So perhaps I have to talk about the weekend.

Friday night Howie and I leave at 8:30. Drive along. Get to Katoomba. Driving along. Road work area. My lane is about to close, I go to change lane and there's a car there. I go back to let the car past. The car comes in behind me. "Bwoop!" Lights flash. Cops behind me. Pull me over. My first ever breath test.

The cop walks up beside the car. I wind down my window as I struggle to get my wallet out of my pocket. I'm very friendly.


"Good evening. Have you been drinking?"


"The way you were driving it looks like you have"

"Yeah, it was that closed lane thing"

"Yeah, that's alright"

Or something like that. We conversed. He asked where we were going. We told him about Dubbo and the wedding (Wellington is near Dubbo). We were good friends. He asked me again if I'd had anything to drink. I gave the lame response of "Only Coke". I blew. I came up good. "Have a good time in Golburn". We got to go.

Then they followed us for a few kms, and left us at petrol station.


2 hours later we're driving through Orange. It's around midnight. We pass the Bunnings warehouse. We notice it has a nice carpark. Would be fun to drive around. So off we go. We find an entrance and around we go. We're driving at at least 40km/h and hour. Weaving in and out on non-existant traffic. We scream past those plants in concrete surrounded garden beds. We drive aound the back.

Howie recommends I park. We pick a spot. Park. Turn the nights off. Rob says he doesn't like the spot. Lights go back on. We reverse. The 20 second park is complete.

It's time to exit. One exit is blocked by an entering truck (who goes to Orange Bunnings carpark at midnight?). We go back to the way we came in. Screaming back at maybe 45km/h. We turn out of the carpark and theres ar car in front of me in the middle of the road. I pull to the left side to go past, but it pulls to the side too, blocks my way and puts it red and blue flashing lights on. Second time tonight. How exciting.

Three cops get out this time. A chick and two guys. We say good evening, and I say something like "This is my second time tonight."

We have quite an extensive conversation that involves at least one cop talking while the other two check out the car.

Some of the highlights of the conversation include:

Cop: You been drinking at all tonight?
Me: No
Cop: What were you doing in the car park?
Me: Driving around. We'd been driving for a long time and needed a break and we thought it would be fun to drive around the carpark.
Cop: Why'd you pick that carpark?
Me: It looked fun.
Cop: What did you do in the carpark?
Me: Drove around. Parked. Went to drive out, there we as truck there. So we drove the other way and met you.
Cop: How long'd you park for?
Howie: About 20 seconds.
Cop: Why'd you park?
Me: We were being silly. Thought it would fun.
Cop: That's not a good enough answer.
Me: (Thinks) No really. We were being silly. That's all.
Cop: You have any drugs in the car?
Me: No
Cop: Can I see your license?
Me: Sure.
Howie: While we've got this break I think I might get my jumper out of the back.

Howie gets out of the car, wearing no shoes, just his socks, to get his jumper.

Cop: Where are you guys from?
Howie: Hornsby
Cop: What are you doing here?
Howie: Going to Wellington to make a wedding video.
Cop: Where are you staying?
Me: The Maquarie Explorer Hotel, motel, thing.
Cop: It's a bit late?
Me: We have a friend minding the room for us.

Conversation lull. Howie is putting on his jumper.

Howie: Orange has good carparks.
Cop: You ever been to Orange before?
Howie: Nope.
Cop: Then how'd you know we have good car parks?
Me: We were just driving past and thought it looked good.
Cop: You didn't pull over and smoke a few cones did you?
Me: No.
Cop: You have any drugs in the vehicle?
Me: No.
Cop: Where's the video gear?
Me: In the boot... Oh no... There's one camera in the back, one in the boot.
Cop: You haven't been doing any drugs?
Me: No.

At that stage the other guy gets given the go-ahead to breath test me, while the other two look at the car some more.

I come up clean.

Cop: You moving on after this?
Me: Yep.

Two of the copes go back to their car. The breath tester keeps an eye on us.

Eventually he gets given a nod or something so he turns to us and says "You can go"

Me: Ok, have a good night.
Cop: You too.

They drive off past us. I give the lady a wave and she waves back.

After that Howie and I drove to Wellington. We arrived at 2:00am.

The rest of weekend consisted of a tiring wedding in a little bush church. Bad filming possitions. A long reception and a cool hotel room. We spent the first night with Angus, and the second with guy Gus knew from Disney. He was a friendly chap. Had converstions with us late at night as we lay in our beds. Fart jokes, and the like. Very male.

Gus gave us 20 litres of left over Coke. That was very cool.

We came home yesterday via the Bevis' in Hazelbrook and played cricket on the trampoline.

Dropped Howie in Gordon. I arrived back at work at 3:30pm.

The End.