I went to a wedding on Saturday. Helen and Jon got themselves hitched. They're friends of mine. Jon was kind enough to ask me to be a groomsman. Which meant that I got to wear a suit and stand up the front of the church.

I woke up bright at early on Saturday morning and drove out to a convent in Kensington where the Hannahvan was on lone some people who like to holiday in convents. I drove up the drive way and very excitedly, and a little fast, executed a three point turn in the car park drive way. I think one of the Nuns must of heard because she poked her head out the door and gave me that angry look that only angry nuns can give.

Anyway I swapped the little gray Pulsar my parents lent me, for the big white van my parents gave me. And drove back to my house.

At home everyone was away and creating breakfast. For the last time ever the whole house was in one place together, making a wedding day breakfast for Jon. It was way fun, there was fruit, shoe shining, music and dancing. It was a lovely way to see Jon off. We all got to pray for Jon too, which was special. It's a special privilege getting to spend the wedding morning with the groom. Plus everyone's so excited, you can't contain your joy. It must be let out with loud talking, laughing, silly jokes and lots of kitchen dancing. The best sort because who cares about looking good on the kitchen floor.

We were planning to leave at around 11:30am, so at 10:30 I figured it might be an idea to go and get the van washed because it still had a bit of egg residue on the side and you can't have a wedding car with egg on the side. This seemed like a good idea, until we were still sitting in the car wash place at 11:10 and they still hadn't finished washing the car. Jo and I went over to get the car back and the man who was washing it abused us for having a dirty car. I thought perhaps he must be new and not have realised yet what the purpose of a car wash was.

I got home at 11:22 and raced upstairs, apologised to Jon, who was getting dressed, shaved and cut myself a few too many times, raced to my room, threw on my suit, raced to my mirror and did my hair in 15 seconds and raced out the door. I think I took about 10 minutes all up. Take that bridesmaids!

We loaded up the Hannahvan with all the Groomsmen and headed off with a quick stop at Helen's to pick up her luggage and so Jon could put his wet washing in the dryer, then it was off to Wedding Land. It was fun driving the non-locals who were amazed at the amount of traffic. It made me feel like an experienced Sydney-ite, able to negotiate even Sydney traffic. Not that it's all that hard.

We arrived at the church and people kept thinking I looked, dapper, cute or funny. It's funny, you get all dressed up and people laugh at you. I was expecting people to faint and stuff but sadly none of that. I decided that would come when I ripped it up on the dance floor.

At the church we got out photos taken, prayed of Jon, then stood around waiting for the ceremony to start. It started pretty close to time I think. And what a start it was.

It was great. The procession was led by a beautiful wedding dance by some of the Helen's dancing stars. And they danced good. It was pretty special. The bridemaids came next wearing their turquoise dresses (or were they teal?), whatever their colour they were looking good. And then came Helen looking wonderful and bridal, and all smiles. I don't think I've ever seen Helen so happy. The whole procession would have moved me to tears were I a person who was capable of expressing emotion. I did get a happy lump in me throat. It was very special.

The ceremony was nice and traditional. All the usual prayer book, with a commitment from the congregation to support Helen and Jon thrown in. I couldn't see any of what was going on because all the groomsmen in front of me blocked my view. All I could see were blackcoated backs. I even missed the kiss. It was going to be the first time I'd ever seen Helen and Jon kiss (apart from a conservative peck) but, sadly I had to wait till the signing of the register. You give up a lot to be a groomsman I tell you.

After a creative reading involving actors and photos and a not so creative reading, involving a sister, a Bible and a lectern, I was called on to give my sermon. It went down pretty good I felt. I only stuffed up a few times. I said something about how I'd try and get a better view next time. Which was embarrassing and sent me digging my way out. I think I made it out ok but not without a lot of digging (David I'll upload the sermon for you, I want a prize!). But I was happy with it and people said nice things to me.

Not much happened after that. They signed the register, we were blinded by the flashes of excited photographers and we processionaled out to "Everlasting Love" Jamie Cullum style (except it was Matt, guitar and band).

We had the cake cutting in the kindy which is always a spectacular location for a celebration. I can't really remember much of that. But it was nice enough. I think I was a little dazed to take it all in. I couldn't see the cake getting cut, too many people in the way. Story of the day really.

Then it was off to photos. I loaded up the Hannahvan with Groomsmen (minus Groom) and jumps in the wedding convoy behind the Rolls and the Jag. The Nissan looked hot man!

Photos were mostly just standing around drinking Champaign. I'm sure Helen and Jon did more than that, but I was very rarely called upon to present my face to be photoged.

And then it was reception time. We were in the Harbour Watch room at the Sebel. It was pretty swanky. You can see the Harbour Bridge. I'd been there before for my cousin's wedding, but it was the day after the tooth loss so I didn't really feel like being there.

The reception was a lot like other receptions. You float around and talk to people. The Best Man said the bridesmaids made "good decorations" which I think was him fulfilling his duty to compliment them on how they looked. The Uncle of the Groom gave a long rather funny, but useless description of Jon's family tree. The first dance was lovely. Helen danced like a dancer. Jon danced like an actor. Jo and I danced self-consciously when it was the wedding parties' turn to dance. But I hung around the dance floor after that and danced for a whole 5 or so songs. I think that's my record at a wedding. I'm virtually a dancer now I reckon.

Eventually Helen and Jon left after hugging everyone in the room, and we all potted home too. I had the privilege of driving the presents home. Our living room looks like Christmas with no tree now.

I went to bed and slept well. At least well until I had to get up again for Church. but that's another day.