5/17/2009 01:58:00 am

100 Fold

Posted by Unknown |

Seeing as I've been hanging out with a Televangelist this weekend, I've been thinking about the whole "biblical promise" that if you sow into God's kingdom you'll reap one hundred fold.

Tonight I was told if I give $1 the Bible promises that I will get $100 back within a year.

Now I know I'm not supposed to let my experience dictate my theology, but seeing as that isn't my theology, I'm going let my experience validate my anti-theology.

Let's say I gave 10% of everything I earnt in the 05-06 financial year to God. If I earnt $40,000, I gave away $4000. That would mean in the 06-07 financial year I should get back from God $400,000. Then if I gave away 10% of that ($40,000) I should get back $4,000,000.

Now those weren't the numbers of my earnings or my tithing. But I can say that I haven't got back financially anywhere near the money that I was promised tonight. I haven't even reaped 10 fold. I want my money back!

I know this probably isn't an original idea, but you would think that were the 100 fold promise true:
a) Christians would cotton on pretty fast that this was the world's best get-rich-quick scheme
b) Christians would throw the world's economy into crisis. Inflation in Christian countries would sky rocket, Christians would be stuck wheeling around wheelbarrows full of their harvest reapings and non-Christians would be converting and giving away money just to keep up. It would be great for evangelism, but pretty much terrible for everything else.

I also got told tonight that "God is going to take riches from the sinners and give them to me". That's what he did with Abraham, that's what he did with Jacob, that's what he did with Moses, that's what he did with Solomon, so obviously, that's what he's going to do with me. Who is logically next in the Biblical succession of great people if not me?

So sucked in sinners, I'm getting your wealth. Not that I need it. I got a miraculous $4,000,000 last year.