1/02/2009 12:00:00 am

Movies 08

Posted by Unknown |

I've managed to go to this cinema 58 times this year. I think that might be a record for me. I love the cinema. I decided to make a top ten or two this year. It hasn't been a year with any stand out amazing, block buster films. But certainly some quality, and some turkeys. Let's go with the turkeys.

Here is my bottom 10:

These are the films that have distinguished themselves for their badness and/or disappointment value. You'll notice that there is no Fool's Gold or Don't Mess with the Zohan and while they were not as "good" as some of the films in this list, they weren't aiming for quality and I was entertained so they get to stay off the list.

10. Jumper

It had a good idea, but it was totally squandered. The action was boring, the plot was silly and I was bored.

9. What Happens in Vegas

I can't really remember this movie except that it wasn't that funny. Who would have thought, Ashton and Cameron are usually such cinematic powerhouses.

8. Australia

Ok so it wasn't the worst film ever (it's at number 8 for 2008). It had some good stuff in it. But it makes it to the list because of it's inability to tell just one story, it's inability to resist using the word "Crikey" and for it's complete condesencion of Indigenous Australia.

7. The Happening

People kill themselves. Mark Walhberg looks worried. The Trees are out to get us. Movie over.

The Ents were cooler.

6. Hancock

This movie wasn't bad till the second half and then it lost the plot. This certainly wasn't the worst movie of the year. But squandered so much potential. It could have been one of the best, most self-aware superhero movies ever. But it got lost in Charlize and Will having a lovers biff. It was like domestic violence on a divine scale. Australia says "No".

5. Hellboy 2

Argh. I didn't like the first one. I wondered why they were making a second. Del Toro could have made it cool, but he didn't. It was just silly. Big dumb army.

4. 10,000BC


3. Wanted

There was some stuff which was way cool in this film. Like the exploding rats. But its total moral bankruptcy puts it at number three. I love action. But action movies need to at least have some mildly defensible message or none at all. But certainly not "Kill because it's better than being an accountant."

2. Twilght

Ahh. The book was crap. This was crapper. So much funniness. Edward Cullen may be hot, but in this he looks like a cancer patient with big hair.

1. The Day the Earth Stood Still

Is there any role Keanu can't play?

This was one bad film. No soul, no fun, dumb alien, dumb message, no tension. Boring.

Here are my faves from 2008:

10. Happy-Go-Lucky

So happy. Poppy, the main character of the film, is probably one of the most delightful characters in film ever. I don't really like using the word delightful but she is it. It maks you happy this movie.

9. U2-3D

It's U2. It's a concert. It's in 3D. What's not to love?

8. Tropic Thunder

This was totally silly, and very cool. Lots of famous people making fun of them selves. And it had action. Even if the action was silly. I loved this film.

7. Rambo

Rambo may not be the best written film. In fact bits of it were terrible. But this film has some of the best, hard core, non-flashy, action in ages. It's not trying to be slick, it's just trying to punch you in the face. Stallone is awesome.

6. No Country For Old Men

This was the first movie I watched this year, and it was a goody. Patient, brutal, unpredictable, and everyone acted well.

5. Iron Man

Oh gosh. This movie was way cool. It was funny, slick and full of explody goodness. And who doesn't want one of those metal suits of American might and righteousness?


Pixar never disappoint. Wall-E was cute. The film was funny. I think it may even have had a message. Plus fat people are funny.

3. The Dark Knight

While I still don't think it was as good as Batman Begins there was much awesomeness in this. Heath should get the Oscar. The action as spectacular. And it was dark. Oh how we love dark movies about men in masks.

2. Taken

This was the surprise of the year. I went in expecting your average, run of the mill, 2nd class action movie. But instead we got Liam Neeson kicking more ass than Qui-Gon. He just beat people up with such efficiency. And it was all for the love of his daughter. It was touching.

I want to become a special ops guy for the sake of my children.

1. Frost/Nixon

This was excellent. There wasn't much fighting but darn, this was great. The acting, script, tension. It was so simple, yet so rich. The meeting of a giant and and entertainer, and to watch them battle it out. Out-charm, out-wit, out-manoeuvre. It was like The West Wing's slowed down and evil cousin. Brilliant.

And they are my tens.