This week's video is actually two videos. I tagged both of these throughout the week for video of the week, since they're thematically similar, here they are.

Enjoy.

When we were away last weekend the kids were having a wonderful time singing along to Moves like Jagger. Jenny, one of the leaders, turned to me and said "I wonder if they actually know who Jagger is." So I told her to ask.

She turned around and asked bus of young teens, "In this song, who is Jagger?"

They all just stared at her for a while, there were a few murmured "dunno"s. Then one kid piped up "Someone who's got good moves?"

It was a pretty special moment.

While Navy Seals were busy killing Osama Bin Laden, I went to the cinema to watch Justin Bieber. I was completing my challenge. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who has taken me up on my challenge, but that's ok, I guess I'm just the only brave person who reads my blog. That's fine, you pansies, that's why I have a hairy chest and you don't.

I went to Event Maquarie. The first step was to go buy a ticket. I decided to go to the earliest session of the day. I figured 10:30am on a Monday was the time I was least likely to be stuck in a cinema full of Beiberised 12 year-old girls.

I lined up and spent the entire time in the line trying to figure out whether to ask for a ticket to just plain Never Say Never or to say something ironic and witty. I couldn't think of anything ironic and witty but I couldn't bring my self to call the movie by it's proper title just like I refuse to ask for a Brekky to GoGo at Boost juice. I ended up asking for "One to the Bieber movie."

I was expecting the woman to mock me or something but, like a true professional, she just gave me my ticket and asked where I'd like to sit. I said the middle, not that I was planning on sitting there. I had designated seating.

I took my ticket but no 3D glasses as I had my 3D glasses already in my pocket. Prepared like a scout, you wimps!

The next obstacle was getting past the ticket collector without being laughed at or jeered for being a grown man going to see Bieber in concert on a screen. The ticket collector, she was also very professional, didn't mock me once. I suspect it was all her experience collecting tickets for people going to see things like The Hottie of the Nottie and Sex and the City 2 which stopped her from grabbing her walkie talking and informing all her fellow staff members that there was creepy bearded man off to watch a tweenie girl's movie in 3D.

As I stood there embarrassed by my situation I realised that there is no ironic way to have your ticket ripped.

My last challenge was to make it into the cinema undetected. Happily I'd arrived late so the lights were already down and I could sneak in. As it turned out there was only one other person in the cinema. They were sitting right up the back. I pretended not to notice them and they pretended not to notice me. We had an unspoken agreement. We were like next-door neighbours passing in a porn shop.


Despite the rigmarole, I actually quite enjoyed the movie. I wasn't sure what I'd think of the movie. I never thought it'd be terrible. My embarrassment at seeing the movie had nothing really to do with the quality of the movie or Justin Bieber as a performer. It was only really that I was doing something that I really shouldn't be doing. I was doing something made for girls who are somewhere in-between ponies and vodka cruisers not for men who are somewhere in-between balding and a mortgage.

Anyway, it was an interesting movie. It gave me a good insight into Justin Bieber and what he's all about. From a youth ministry perspective it helped me understand teenage girl obsession a bit too. Also from a youth ministry perspective I left feeling pretty worried about what this life must be doing to the poor kid. To be literally worshipped by millions of girls must screw with the young man's head. From what I could see in the film, he has a solid bunch of people around him who keep in generally grounded. There seem to be some strong Christians there including his mum, so I'm hoping they work on him to keep him humble.

Bieber's music is pretty bland, but he is clearly pretty talented. The film itself is part concert film, part documentary about his rise to fame. The documentary bit was pretty interesting, the concert got a tad boring. I was ready for the film to end after about an hour.

Perhaps most interesting, and most embarrassing, is that the film did make me a tad emotional. Actually not a tad. I cried. Real tears. I know, it's terrible, and that's why I'm writing this so late in the post and hoping everyone has stopped reading by now.

There's a scene where Justin sings One Less Lonely Girl. During the concert the production team pick one girl out of the audience and invite her on to the stage with Bieber. She sits on a stool on the stage and he sings to her and gives her a bunch of flowers and dances around her. The scene in the film becomes a montage of girls getting given the chance to get sung to by their idol Justin Bieber, there is a lot of screaming and tears. And somehow, somehow in all that emotion, music, and in the joy of seeing all these young ones have their dreams come true, I got a lump in my throat and a few droplets of salt water trickled down from behind my 3D glasses into my lap. It was embarrassing and lovely all that same time. So emotionally confusing for a man like me.

I learnt then that there's no ironic way to cry during a Justin Bieber movie.

When the film was done, I left. I tried to sneak out without running into a cinema worker who might notice my puffy eyes. I think I was successful which is lucky, because despite all their professionalism and training I'm not sure they could have let that breach of manly conduct pass without out some public humiliation.

So did I learn from the experience? Yes I did. I learnt a lot. I learnt about Bieber. I learnt about the people who love Bieber. I learnt about facing your fears. And I learnt that if Beiber ever picks me out of the crowd for One Less Lonely Girl there is no way I'm going to be able to hold it together. I'm gonna be a blubbering mess.

I have yet to go watch the Justin Bieber movie, I'll probably do it on Monday. However I have decided to be pro-Beiber, I probably won't enjoy the movie, but I don't think that should make me anti-Bieber. If I was discovered and given the opportunity to become a pop sensation when I was 14, I would have taken it. Bieber is just doing what anyone his age would do. And he hasn't done anything offensive, he hasn't been arrogant and talked himself up, he hasn't made racist or sexist music or remarks. He's been pretty innocuous really.

So I see no reason to have strong feelings about Bieber either way. But since so many people hate him so much, I'm going to like him. Go Bieber.

This'll make you love the film even more. So rich.

Everything Is A Remix: KILL BILL from robgwilson.com on Vimeo.

I have a challenge for you blog readers and writers. Go see Justin Bieber: Never Say Never all by yourself, then come back and report on your experiences. It'll be a test of your courage and fortitude. It'll develop character. It'll teach you about the world.

I'm gonna do it. Who's with me? Or perhaps, not with me?

"Pop culture is changing. It's becoming more rock 'n' roll. And the pop icons nowadays are very fearless, unapologetic, edgy and it's a lot for people to swallow sometimes. Because people still think pop star equals role model, but it's almost impossible to walk that line." - Rihanna

Expecting a pop star to be a beacon for morality is like asking a military general to be an advocate for pacifism. It's fundamentally opposed to the role they've been asked to play. Do we blame the supplier for their product or the consumers for creating the demand?

This is a good film clip. It's certainly not your usual hip-hop fare. There are no jets, girls in bikinis, cars or bling. In fact it's not really like most film clips of any genre. It's not trying to be funny, it doesn't have some terribly unsubtle storyline running through it, it's not just an advertisment or a chance to be a sexy as possible.

If you want a music video where the video and the music work to serve each other, this is the one to watch. I'm impressed. If you're really keen watch the half-hour version, it's good too.

I'm working on a talk for youth group on pop music so I'm listening to the top fifty. It took me till the second chorus of "Hold it Against me" to notice that when Britney Spears sings "If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?", it's actually a double meaning. She's a clever girl that Britney. A regular wordsmith. A Hemingway for the pop scene.

I found out today that your friend and mine, Natalie Portman is engaged and pregnant.

While I wish her all the best, it's hard when all the people you've been holding a flame for fall for other people, and get on with life. First it was Winnie from The Wonder Years and now Natalie.

What's a man to do?

It's times like this when we need James Blunt to sing for our hearts. Sing it for me tonight Blunty:

For all those of you who were fans of Podcasting with Howie and Tom, we'll be back. But live on the computer screen. Streaming video right to your computer.

8pm AEST, 25th December 2010. Right here: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/howie-and-tom-live

It'll be better than all your crap presents, but not nearly as good as your good ones.

This video is really disturbing. All those poor young people spontaneously combusting everywhere. I worry for their safety.

"Baby, you're a firework..."

I am Australia's Next Top Model!

No... wait... sorry... hold on... I'm feeling a bit sick about this... actually, it's Amanda.

Damn it.

I'm kinda enjoying this song at the moment. Perhaps enjoying is not the word. I'm glad there's a song on the radio that's about more than sex. Plus it is a good song.

What worries me however is that girls in dysfunctional relationships will hear it, it'll resonate and they'll think "Yeah, that's my life" but guys in dysfunctional relationships will hear it and say "Yeah if she ever does try and leave me again I will tie her to the bed and set the house on fire. Good idea, thanks Eminem." I'd really like the song to end with Eminem saying "If you beat up on your girlfriend, you suck" or something equally non-ambiguous. But I guess there's a difference between art and social service announcements. I just hope people who suck understand art.

So whenever I hear Usher's OMG on the radio, my mind gets stuck in an infinite loop. It happens when he sings the line "Honey's got some boobies like wow, oh wow."

The problem is I hear "Wow, oh wow" and I think "If you take the WOW, out of 'Wow, oh wow' you have an acronym for 'Wow, Oh Wow.' And then if you take the first Wow, out of that, you get an acronym for 'Wow, Oh Wow'. And then if you take the first or last WOW out of that..." And then, well, I just get stuck thinking about how in every "Wow, oh wow" there's another "Wow, oh wow" hiding at the beginning and the end of every line. It's like the fractal equivalent of RnB lyrics, it just goes on forever.

Still at least I spend all my time thinking about the infinite rabbit hole of acronyms, rather than about the boobies. But now that I think about it, he does say "boobies" which is pretty funny.

Well, as I mentioned, I went to see Eclipse today. I was going hoping for a massive pile of rubbish that I could smash with my eloquent and witty blog prose. But alas, the film was a whole lot better than I was expecting. It wasn't necessarily good, but it was a vast improvement on the last two films in the "saga", so I was almost enjoying myself.

Let me tell you what was good. The action was vastly improved. There was a training scene, where the vampires were training to fight other vampires which was fun to watch. Then there was a werewolves and vampires vs other vampires war, which wasn't bad, some good punches, throws and slow-mo. Plus there was a small army of vampires walking out of a lake like the undead, which was a cooler undead walk out of the water scene than when the army of the undead come out of the water in Lord of the Rings, or am I thinking of the undead pirates in Pirates of the Caribbean, I get those two bits confused because that undead army on LOTR was probably the dumbest bit of the trilogy and looked just like POTC except glowing green. Anyway, I actually thought the vampires walking out of the water was cool, which is really saying something.

Then there was the humour, which was at times intentionally funny. Like when Edward when confronted with a topless Jacob asks Bella "Doesn't he own a shirt?" It was self-deprecating humour which is certainly something needed for a saga which takes itself way too seriously.

Additionally Edward looked less like a cancer patient with big hair in this film. And it had some good shots. At very least it didn't look like a Celine Dion film clip.

What I didn't like about the film, was the fact that Bella, Edward and Jacob were in it. I still dislike them all. Especially Bella. She's a whiney, selfish, mopey girl. She just spends the whole time depressed about how much she's in love with Edward and how he doesn't want to turn her into a vampire. I'm pretty sure we established he doesn't want to turn Bella in the first film. Why we have to keep dwelling on it I don't know.

Plus she spends the whole time being totally selfish. She'll do highly provocative things in front of her boyfriend, like running away on a motor bike with another boy who is in love with her right in front of Edward. She spends long periods of time hanging out with Jacob just so he can tell her how much he loves her, while she insists she doesn't love him, until she kisses him. Argh! It's not even a film about dumb girlfriends. It's romance porn for teenage girls who want two strong men fighting over who gets to protect them better and show off their big abs and big hair, and Bella is setting a bad example for any teenage girl who might have even a hint of potential for femine self-respect in them.

Once again the film idolises relationships to the degree that Bella's total commitment to Edward to the point of turning her back on all her family and friends and is portrayed as romantic. Had the film been about a girl becoming a Muslim, cutting off her family, moving to Saudi Arabia and wearing a burqua for rest of her life, I'm not sure the film would seem nearly so romantic. Even if the Muslim husband was just as kind and loving as Edward.

As for the other characters, Jacob is annoying and broods as much as Bella mopes. And Edward spends his whole time looking sad and in chronic pain. It must be his cancer playing up again.

So can I recommend this film? No, not really. I still think the whole "Twilight" thing is decidedly unhealthy for the undiscerning (which may or may not include most of its teenage readership). And it has plenty of dumbness. But I am at least happy to concede that this film is vast improvement on the last two. It probably won't be the worst film I watch this year, though there's a good chance it'll make it into the bottom five.

I was speaking at a school the other day and I was talking about Jews and Samaritans. I said "Jews and Samaritans, they didn't like each other. They didn't associate with each other at all. Just like vampires don't associate with werewolves. That one's for you, ladies."

And then instantly I regretted adding the "ladies" on the end. Because saying "ladies" makes you sound seedy. Especially when you're talking to a bunch of school kids. 27 year-old men shouldn't call school girls "ladies". I had even planned not to say it, to say "girls", or "that's for all you females". But it was "ladies" that came out.

When I came home and Brendan, the flatmate (he is very flat), told me about this piece by Demetri Martin and then I felt like even more of a creep...ladies.

Warning: Spoilers ahead

Gem, Matt and I went and saw New Moon and it turned out to be even more terrible than the first movie, which is quite an achievement. While I spent much of the first film laughing, I spent much of this one saying "Oh my goodness" in exasperation at the poisonous trash that was defecating all over our eyes. Matt sat next to me and regularly said words which I shan't repeat on the blog, but it summed up my feelings better than the ones I could express to the limits of my Christian piety.

The acting was terrible, Edward still looks like a sad, cancer patient, and the writing was atrocious ("I love you, I can't live without you, you're my everything, I'm terrible for you, you're my breath, get away from me, but I actually really need you"). The only good bit of script was when Edward quoted a chunk of Shakespeare. It had a rather jarring effect finding such quality amongst such ugliness, kinda like finding a Rembrandt in a crack house.

I know I'm sounding rather harsh. But I can't find much to redeem this film. If you're a lady Jacob Black's abs are impressive and they might redeem the film a little (as they did for Lesley). There was a squeal in the cinema from many females when he took off his shirt for the first time. He spends almost the entire film with nothing but a pair of shorts on. His clothes get destroyed when he turns into a werewolf, but somehow he has an endless supply of jeans cut-offs at his disposal for when he goes back to human form. One imagines he spends all his time when not a werewolf at Wal Mart buying jeans then going home and cutting off the legs.

But apart from Jacob's conspicuous abs (which did little for me except make me feel inferior) this film is pretty useless. I don't think any of the character's are happy for any moment of the film. They're all depressed and spend the whole time moping about lost love. It makes for infuriating watching.

And then there are the messages. Which I think are probably the most horrendous bit of the film. Because I can cope with bad films if they aren't spreading terrible lies. This film is emotional porn at its worst.

There's the total dependence of Bella and Jacob on each other. They live and breath each other, and yet when they're together they just natter at each other (Bella: Turn me into a vampire, Edward: No, I won't, I love you and wouldn't do that to you, Bella: Turn me into a vampire, Edward: No, I won't... and so it goes). They are so co-dependant that when Edward thinks Bella has died he tries to kill himself, only to be saved by Bella as she proves to him that she's still alive. And this attempted suicide, sparkling in the sun, is seen as Edward's great romantic devotion to Bella. If a guy kills himself because he can't have his girlfriend any more, it's not romantic, it's totally unhealthy. Why do people want to hold up Bella and Edward's relationship as the epitome of true love? Teenage girls don't need any more encouragement to get into unhealthy relationships.

Romeo and Juliet is held up through out the film as this archetypal love story for Bella and Edward, as if Romeo and Juliet are the pinnacle of romance. They're not. The play isn't a romance, it's tragedy! Romeo and Juliet die! It wasn't as if Shakespeare wrote it to say "Hey kid's, be like this. Woo!"

If Edward was a vampire with any courage, when he found out Bella was dead, he wouldn't kill himself, at risk of sounding terribly clichéd, he'd decide to keep living with the pain, working at healing and making something good of his life, because that's what Bella would want. Except she probably wouldn't because Bella is one of the most selfish leading ladies in cinema since Scarlet O'Hara. She spends the whole film using and manipulating Jacob because it makes her feel better about Edward being gone and then using and manipulating Edward to make her feel good and turn her into a vampire.

If you want to get all Christian about it, then Bella and Edward are in the high priesthood for the idolatry of relationship. Surely Stephanie Mayer, the Mormon, can see that elevating anything other than God to that level of obsession in your life is going to be fundamentally destructive to the soul. We may not agree on who God is, but we should probably be able to agree that romance isn't God.

But perhaps the whole divine marriage thing of the Mormons, and the elevation of humanity to divinity in the after life is part of all this. So I could see how you could allow Bella and Edward's romance to be seen as some kind of representation of true humanity's realisation. After all it was the romance of father God and mother God who made the world and birthed us. But I digress.

Aside from Bella and Edward's mess, there's a scene in the film where Bella meets the fiancée of the head werewolf. She's had half her face ripped off by her fiancée in a snap fit of rage. And there she is, the first time we meet her, serving muffins to her man's equally dangerous friends. And when he comes home, they give each other a kiss and continue as if nothing is wrong. And this should be a cause for concern in the film. But it's not. No one thinks to mention that perhaps this girl should get out of the relationship. Their not even married and the guy has torn half her face off, and they just go on as if his fit of rage just comes with the territory of being engaged to a werewolf.

The only time the issue is addressed is when Jacob says he can't hang out with Bella any more because he might do the same to her. But then he hangs around anyway because he just can't stay away from her and he's selfish. And she keeps wanting him close anyway because he's her best friend. So we overlook the potential for incredible violence being perpetrated against these women if it's for the sake of relationship.

It's all just so terribly sick. And I think I react so strongly to it because it's so popular and so obsessed over by so many women and girls. It's just sending so many bad messages. If this is what girls are obsessing over, what will they take with them into their future relationships?

All that said though, I'm not going to go on a crusade to rid the world of Twilight. And if it gives us an opportunity to assess how healthy relationship should be done, then I'll take it. So maybe we should just look for those openings, to somehow point out that finding your Jacob or your Edward isn't actually going to be all it's cracked up to be and hopefully in turn, we can help people to see who might be better at protecting and selflessly loving these women who want good love so much.

It's all here.

"If I'm calling at two in the morning it only means one thing, baby!" - Black Eyed Peas

When people call me at 2am I'm usually pretty confident that it doesn't "only mean one thing, baby."