"If you have sin in your life and you bring it to your prophet friend he says 'Knock it off! Or you're going to hell!' That's a prophet.

You go to your priestly friend and they say 'Tell me about your childhood. How do you feel about this? Do you need a muffin? Here I'll rub your back. Can we meet again tomorrow? We should do this everyday... for eighteen years.' That's a priest.

Prophet: One minute counselling sessions 'Stop! Next.' I mean, that's it.

Priest: 'I knitted you a sweater, when you wear it, think about Jesus so you don't do that any more.' That's a priest."