At the moment I am rendering for a dvd again. This seems to be the bane of my life. David came around to fix my computer. He fixed one of the problems. But there still seems to be a bug in Premiere which had problems rendering to MPEG-2. I've managed to render one half of this concert. Now I'm trying to get the other one to happen. I've been at it since 4:47pm this afternoon. I think I've attempted 15 times and it hasn't happened yet. I'm really hoping God's not doing a last minute thing on me again. I'm hoping he comes through a lot earlier. Perhaps in the next hour. That would be nice.

Anyway, I better get back to my excitement.

I woke up this morning feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and inadequate. I had boring dreams except for the one where we stuck Post-it notes all over the House of Representatives in Parliament. I think I'll have some breakfast and read the paper and see what that does for me.

I do like Post-it notes ever so much.

Tonight we had an ice cream lucky dip. Everyone got a different type of Magnum that they picked out of the bag with their eyes closed. I got a Choc-Orange. I wasn't all that excited, but it didn't taste too bad.

Tonight we filmed a little thing for the beginning of Impact. It was pretty dodgy. I was a presenter and Tinku a refugee. I shaved and put on a shirt so I'd look the part. I hate shaving. I complained a lot about the shaving and Robert was rude to me because he saw me without a shirt on. My mother said I was too skinny again and I looked terrible. Every one seems to be complaining about my weight. Mum even asked me if I was anorexic. I'm not. One day I'll wake up buff.

Anyway, we filmed this thing and I don't think it's very good. Oh well. We can decide if we like it later.

Sometimes I think that I may be quite an insecure person.

Dirty Rain

I looked at our car this morning and it was covered in all these dirty brown spots. It was all over the roof of the car, the windscreen, the bonnet and the back. I thought that's a little odd. Maybe something was coming out of the tree.

I decided to hose down the car to make it a bit clean. But the hose wouldn't reach the car because Tassa had eaten too much of the hose, so I left it.

When Rob and I were walking up to the food court I noticed that every car in the street had these same dirty spots. And lots of cars were driving on the road with these same dirty marks. I realised it wasn't just our trees, the whole of Hornsby, or perhaps even further have received this baptism of dirt. It rained this morning. Or perhaps it was last night. When ever it was I think it was dirty rain. There was dirt in those thunder clouds.

I think you could write a song about that. Rain is normally refreshing, redemptive, cleansing. But not this rain. This rain does nothing but make you feel worse. It would be a sad melancholy song. You could call it "Dirty Rain".

Tonight at community dinner we had a long conversation where I used the words "Gospel", "Jesus", "Holy Spirit" and "Deception" a lot. I felt like and evangelical through and through.

I also admitted, most ashamed, publicly, to the gathered community, that I was upset when I found out that Paulini was kicked of Australian Idol.

Yes. College. Done.

But I'll be back. I have exams and reflection day. And then more learning. But something or other finished today. I don't feel either one way or the other. I loved college. Lots of beautiful people. Lots of beautiful people who love the Bible and laugh at my jokes, what more can I want? But I guess I'm happy to be moving on. I'm happy to get on with my life. I will miss the train trips. And the hanging out. And the late night maccas trips. And the blogging, especially with James. And the not having to worry about anything in the rest of my life. College was a sanctuary. A time not to be a mature youth minister. A time not to have to worry about saying the right thing all the time. College was a place where I wasn't in charge and people could tell me what to do. A place where I got to learn about God. A place where I learnt what escatology was. A place where I could have my quiet times on the only piece of consectrated outdoor land in Australia (I think that's true, could be a dirty rumour). College was a good place where they looked after me and helped me grow in many, many ways. I say, "Yay for Anglican Youthworks College".

I am about to have my last hour of lectures at college ever. Well kinda. It's my last hour till I do the advanced diploma next year. But it'll be my last lecture the way it has been for the last two years though. I'm kinda excited. Not about the lecture though. We're going to do subject evaluation forms which are always boring, and go through exam papers which is also boring. I would like to go home. It is optional. But I'm feeling very under prepared so it's appropriate I think.

We've been having lots of visitors to college lately. People who are thinking of coming to college next year.

I have got a lot of hits to my archive April this month (actually I get a lot to April every month) and I couldn't figure out why. I couldn't think what I would post that would make so many people find my blog on search engines. But now I think I know. I think it was this post.

We had our last fireside at college tonight we had a time of praise, musical praise. It was really good. We spent an hour singing. And it was really nice in a quaint Anglican kind of a way. I like how Anglicans sing such theologically correct songs. And songs which are just scripture with music. Sometimes they aren't the best songs, but it's good to sing the Bible.

After the singing there was a general agreement that I should preach one last time. It's only my second preach for the year after my shocking one at the beginning of the year. I think I redeemed myself tonight. People laughed. I preached on the Yavneh Yam. I don't think anyone who hasn't been to our college this semester would have found it at all amusing but that's ok. I worked to the target audience.

I was going to make a post the other day. But I decided not to because my mood changed just before I made the post and I wasn't sure if it was true or not. But now I'm in the right mood so I think it must be true. True for me at least and what other truth is there except what's true for you?

The post was: Sometimes it's nice to know you can be distracted by two things at once.

I have changed to Daylight saving time on my blog but I think all my posts before today will now be an hour out. Oh well. These things happen.

Ryan wrote in Spanish and I couldn't understand it, so I translated it. According to Babel Fish he said: Salt is an amused girl. Or single perhaps cynical. This good one.

Tonight in church there was a sermon. There were a few things in the sermon where I thought, "Yeah, I need to hear that. That's something I need help with". When they had the call for ministry at the end one of the call catagories (if you can call them that) fitted me, which I was hoping it wouldn't, but it did. And seeing as I figure it's good to get prayed for I went down the front for prayer. But when I got down the front I completely forgot why I was there. I spent the first few minutes with my eyes closed looking holy and receptive and whatever else you're meant to look when you've gone down the front, while I was racking my brains to remember why I was there. Once I remembered though, it all made a lot more sense.

Yesterday I got up way to early after going to bed at around 1am the night before.

I picked up Tanya and Kirsten and drove to church ready for an 8am (actually it was 8:20, I was running late) Canberra get away.

I drove to Canberra with Matt, Emma and Nic, in a posh new Falcon. I had breakfast at Maccas where we met everyone traveling down that morning. I had a lot to eat because I'm trying to please my mother who says I'm too skinny.

We had a lot of silly conversation on the way down. Much toilet humor and bad jokes. Lots of laughs. Good fun. I read my sermon (I don't know if you call it a sermon at Soul Survivor things. I can't remember what people call it. Not ministry of the Word. I don't know, doesn't matter.) and fell asleep while doing that. I don't think anything went into my brain and it was a wholely ineffective sermon preparation time.

We arrived in Canberra and after lunch we went to visit Parliament house. I got to see where George was. It was a little strange because I got to see all the places I'd seen on TV on Thursday. We went through the metal detectors, so I took off my belt because I can't be bothered getting the wand thing when I beep.

As I walked into the foyer putting my belt on, I got nominated tour guide. That was fun. People laughed at my jokes which was polite of them. I felt like the tour guides might get a bit annoyed at me for paying them out but most of them thought it was amusing.

I talked to one of the tour guides in the House of Reps and asked her what was in the boxes that the Prime Minister and Leader of the Opposition have at their microphones. She told me the Prime Minister had religious texts so that you can swear on them when you get sworn in. She said they had all kinds. I asked if that meant that they had Scientology in there. I don't think she knew what Scientology was but she assured me, if it was a religion it would be in the box. I told her if I became an MP I'd swear on the Scientology religious text and if they didn't have it in the box they could order it in for me. She assured me again that it would be in the box. So I said "Ok, cool" and went to continue my job as tour guide.

I got to see the Magna Carta too. That was exciting. Not that I know what the Magna Carta is but I do know it's a very important document for some reason. I read a book about people trying to steal the Declaration of Independence once. But that's not really important.

We arrived at the church in where Soul was happening and the festivities began. We had a sock wrestling/bullrush game so that everyone could get to know each other. I didn't get to know anyone really but I did feel a little scared and confronted. I really didn't want anyone touching my socks. But I played and managed to be mildly helpful.

We did kindness projects. I was on a prayer walk, door knocking asking people if they had prayer requests we could pray for. It was the one I think I least wanted to do, but I had to because that was the group that was finishing early.

I felt like a Mormon. We had two people shut the door in our faces, two polite rejections and the rest of the houses weren't home. But I'm glad I did it, even if it all felt a little strange.

We finished up, I practiced the talk, this time I didn't fall asleep. Then we had dinner. Very messy burritos. I liked them though. I was a little too nervous to fully enjoy them. I get nervous too often these days.

The evening celebration came around and it was really good. People shared stories from their kindness projects which was really encouraging. We sang and sang good. I talked, that went well. I did it almost all without notes. We sang some more and God did good things during the ministry time.

The talk I did was the same one I did on Sunday night so I had many people pay me out for being like Mike Pilavachi and always doing the same talks.

Other people said nice things to me and I had difficulty responding. I find getting praise for doing a good talk really difficult when you're trying to glorify God. When really you are only trying to speak His words. I don't know what to say. Usually I say something really weak and quiet, something like "Oh, thanks" and then wonder whether I hogged the glory.

We drove home with a bit more silliness but a lot more sleeping. Emma gave me her pillow and I slept most of the way home. Emma's a lovely person.

I stayed the night at Matt and Emma's house and woke up an hour later than I should have this morning (darn daylight saving).

The Sunday morning group went good today. Kids talked about refugees. They thought, talked, and read their Bibles. It went well.

Now I'm here blogging.

Phew, that was a lot.

I feel like I have a lot of blogging catch up to do.

I wrote quite a long post about Friday on Friday night but the computer crashed before I got it all done. Perhaps I'll do a little less of a recap. But I need to get Friday out there and into cyberspace. It's an important thing for me.

Friday morning I went to memorial service for our friend who died. It was a bit strange. Very unreal. I guess I still can't get my head around it and the service didn't really help. It was so unfamiliar to me, it put the whole thing more into the world of the surreal rather than less.

The service was in a big Catholic church in Wahroonga. Most of the service was a Catholic mass which strange. I was working hard not the theologically knitpick the Catholic tradition and participate in the service. It was difficult but I was very interested in what was going on.

The end of the service they had the eulogies. They were nice. He was a really nice man. It's really sad that he's not around anymore. The people that got up to talk must have been through such a horrible time over the past week.

After the service I left quickly because I was running late the Christian group at the school.

Friday we had staff meeting and I had meeting with Steve about what I'm doing next year. I'm pretty excited about next year. I found it difficult to sleep on Friday night because I was thinking about how it's all going to be. Or at least how it all could be.

Youth group went nicely. The kids behaved. I broke a few of my youth ministry rules. I would be frowned upon by college people for the games we played before youth group. The pointless ball games. They're bad. But they were good. We had fun. The kids had fun. I think they worked well in getting rid of the kids energy and that way managed to have a much more normal night. It was good.

After youth group I had a good debrief with Lauren and Tanya. It was good talking to them.

And then it was off to Maccas for dinner and more talking of ministry things.

I managed to stay up late talking to Helen again tonight. That's the third time this week.

Oh well. We had a very productive talk tonight. 'Twas good. And I got to have some dinner.

Just before I go to bed, today I have watched at least 2 and half hours of television (not including a dvd). This makes me feel depressed.

Tomorrow should be better.

And just a little more of the spirit of the visit:




















Thank you SMH and thank you Mr Moir.

Simon Crean's speech for George tells him all about some great Australian Labor leaders, then that friends disagree (like Labor and the US) and then how wonderful the US is.

John said terrorists oppose nations such as the United States and Australia not because of what we have done but because of who we are and because of the values that we hold in common.

And George said all this.

Now there's some leaders I can follow.

Problems in Parliment. Bob Brown wanted to meet George but "Senator Brown said Senator Lightfoot was the most physically vigorous with him" which made it difficult.

Read all about it.

Six year 8 boys went to hospital after taking Viagra during lunch time at an English school. That's pretty funny. I'm not sure what Viagra would do for a year 8 boy, but hey, as the Sydney Morning Herald said: "Boys will be boys".

Today the Foxtel man came and put the Foxtel in for us. Took him 27 minutes exactly. I stayed in bed because I didn't want him to see me in my boxers.

I came out and saw Foxtel for the first time and my heart sank. There goes my life.

I wanted to do something with my day off today. I often spend days off staring at the computer feeling depressed because I can't find anything to do with my day off. So I went to the city and had lunch with Jem. We ate vegetarian Yum Cha. It was fun. It didn't fill me up though. We had conversation. I got her to de-brief Black Stump for me. We talked about moral professions, and what we were excited about. Jem's going to Uni. As is Chris, and Ryan and some others. Lots of people going off to learn. I think that's cool. Yay for all those learners out there. I support learning. I feel like a proud father when his son gets the education he never got. Although, I'm getting an education. And maybe one day my letters will be just as impressive as the Uni people. But I'm rambling.

After lunch I went to Hyde Park and sat under a tree reading my book. When I got cold because the sun moved behind a building I moved up to the grass and fell asleep while reading in the sun. When I woke up it was cloudy and all my fellow sleepers had left the park, as had the flirty couple to my right, and the HSC girl studying under a light post. I sat there for a while. Read my Bible then headed off to catch the train home. I caught an express from Central. David called me on the train. I was listening to my mini-disk and I think I answered the phone very loudly because the whole train seemed to turn around when I said "Hello". I felt a little embarrassed then because I'm pretty sure everyone listened to our conversation and we discussed the special featured on The Matrix Reloaded dvd. Not a very impressive subject to be discussing for the entertainment of the whole train. Would have been better if we could have talked about my recent accomplishments on the weights at the gym or something.

Now I am home. My head hurts a little but I feel like I've had a good quality day off. I hope George W is enjoying his day too.

Well I stayed at Church late last night. I left at 11:30. I was making programs again. Now they are finished and klaar. Posted. Gone.

We had a de-brief for Black Stump. I think it was one of de-brief meetings that you have to de-brief if you know what I mean. That's the vive I got. I heard it wasn't a normal leader's meeting, but seeing as I've never been to one of those leaders meetings before, I didn't notice.

I was the only male at the meeting too. That meant I did a lot of asserting of my authority.

Really it meant I was quiet and didn't say much. Perhaps it was passive authority assertion. That's what I like to think.

Matt asked me to talk at Soul Survivor on the weekend, I said "Ok".

Now I'm going to Canberra on Saturday.

Last night Helen came over so we could do music for the concert.

She also came to the community dinner.

I played Helen "Chocolate Milk" a song that Chris, Chris Foy, and I did in year 11. She thought it was very funny. It's a really bad song. I do some terrible singing and crappy harmonica playing.

We finished work at around 1:30am but managed to talk for another 45 minutes about things like women in ministry, and um, I can't remember what else. Beer perhaps.

Tomorrow Foxtel is coming. Bah.

It's been a strange two days.

Actually today has been pretty normal.

College yesterday was ok. I was very tired. My test went to the dogs. Church History was more fun than usual. We talked about Evangelicalism and Fundamentalism. There was a bit of theology discussed and I got to jump in on the discussion. I got into the discussion about the inerrancy of the Bible the most. It was kinda fun. Like the theology lectures of last year.

We looked at Revelation in New Testament. That was good too. It makes a bit more sense now.

On the way home my train got stuck on a bridge going over the Parramatta river because someone on the train infront had a medical emergency and they needed to call an ambulance so we had to wait till the ambulance arrived before we could move.

The guard was kinda funny. I slept during most of the wait but I heard her announcement that she thought she could hear the sirens so it wouldn't be long before we could "get the hell out of here...oh I shouldn't have said that".

She then encouraged us all to ring 131 500 and complain about City Rail and having to wait over half an hour for the train to move.

When I got home Mum told me that one of our friends had drowned in a boating accident. I wasn't quite sure what to do. I'm still not. It's a weird feeling. I didn't know him really well but he was a family friend. He was a Dad with two older kids. It just seems to suck. I really feel for the family because I can't see why they need this pain.

I don't understand death. It doesn't really make sense to me. People die but I don't feel like they're gone. I feel like if I tried hard I could go find all those people who I know who have died. They aren't gone they're just somewhere else. I might run into them at the shops. Or maybe I just haven't visited them in a while. Perhaps they are on a holiday and they'll be back soon. I can't comprehend the loss of so much. There is so much within a person and when they die, it's all gone. It's only a body and that's pretty useless.

In know some answers. I know what the Bible says. But that doesn't make me feel any different. I haven't really experienced that reality. I just have faith that it's real. It makes more sense to me than anything else.

At community dinner we talked about death, we talked about why it happened. We asked why did this particular death happen. I said what I thought. And it kinda affirmed for me what I think.

I like the fact that God is in control of life and death. I like the fact the He controls our comings and goings. I can't accept a random death. I don't see any hope in senseless deaths. I don't see any grace in a death that just happens. No reason. I don't know why people die, but God does. I don't know why people go when they do, but God does. I couldn't accept a loving God who just lets people be wrenched out of the world and He doesn't do anything about it.

So if He does take people, it may not make sense to me. Perhaps I can rage against God. But at least He's God. At least He's good. At least He knows what's going on even if I don't. That makes sense to me.

And I can hope in the resurrection and a time when death no longer has any power.

I just got back from the Dean's place. I decided not to sleep over. I'm going to stay here tonight and get up and do some study in the morning for this church History test I have.

We had beer and pizza tonight (I had Coke because I haven't learnt to drink beer yet) and talked about ministry issues. The issues were mainly relationship issues. Like what do you do when someone within your ministry, especially a leader or older person, gets a crush on you and you don't like them back. How do you deal with that?

And how do you go out with someone appropriately while you are in ministry?

I'd never really put in much thought about it all really. I've put in at least an hours worth of thought, now I'm an expert.

We bought McDonald's on the way home and were silly (some would call it flirting) with the Macca's chicks. I bought a chocolate Sunday and a large nuggets meal.

"Sorry"

The saying sorry thing (like saying sorry to Aboriginies) is something I have been thinking about. Or I did think about it once. I used to be in the "Don't say sorry you didn't do it" camp. Which makes sense to me. I understand why saying sorry for someone else's sins seems a little silly. But we had a discussion about it at college and somehow during the discussion I managed to change my mind. Now I'm a "Sorry" guy. At least for Christians.

I think we are a little to individualistic in our thinking. We have a view that if I didn't do it, then I have no responsibility for it. But within the Bible we see a much less individualistic view. If one person sins, the whole family suffers. Often times the whole nation of Israel will come before the Lord in repentance. Not because they were all sinning, but they acknowlege that as a community they are responsible for each person.

Later Paul writes about the body of Christ being one, if one part mourns the whole body mourns with it. If one part rejoices the whole body rejoices with it. If one part suffers, every part suffers. I guess there is this idea that being joined in Christ we all have joint ownership of the experiences of each part. The reason that sin needs to be so diligently kept out of the church is because it doesn't affect just the individual but the whole community.

That being the case, if the church is responsible for sin, then as the church we should repent. I myself may not indulge in many of the injustices perpetrated by God's people over time, but I am still part of that people. For corporate sin (that's the sin of a group of people, rather than a sin of big corporations) to be allowed to continue all it needs is for everyone to say, "I'm not doing it, it's someone else".

So I guess as a Church we should apologise for the sins of our forefathers, because they are still a part of the body of which I am a part. I hope too that those that come after me will apologise for the injustices that I am unknowingly or knowingly a participant in. Perhaps in one generation we can't change the world, reconciliation through repentance may not be attainable, but a joint responsibility across time will mean that maybe we can get somewhere repairing the hurts of the past, and avoiding making the same mistakes in the future.

I'm not really sure that I have anything to blog about at the moment but I'm not going to be at college tonight so I feel I should make sure I get something out.

We have a sleep over tonight at the Dean's house. Oi, you Uni people, I wanna see you have a sleep over at your Dean's house. All the guys are going to his house and being male or something. He lives near the beach, that scares me. I don't want to go to the beach. I'll be alright. I might go visit my cousins they live near-by.

"Hello Cousins"

I'm very tired today. I stayed up too late showing Don my videos. I'd ignored him most of the time he's been at my house so I felt I owed him a bit of time.

I fell asleep many, many times in Old Testament today. We were learning about Apocalypticism, whatever that is. Something to do with Daniel 7. Yah.

This morning I will hand in my last ever assessment for my Diploma of Theology.

That's kinda nice. Almost like school, but this time I tried.

I'm waiting for Don and Tinku to bring me a Sunday from McDonald's so I guess I can blog for a bit.

I preached tonight. Interesting experience. I was preaching on God's strength in our weakness. The preaching itself was about the same as it normally is. I quite enjoy it. It was a little more difficult this time, I hadn't got to spend as much time with the finished sermon as usual, and it was a little more personal and therefore harder to do. But in general it wasn't too bad.

But the interesting experience has been the lead up to this sermon. I've known about it for about the past 6 weeks I think. I've been mulling it over in my head. And trying to get my life around the topic. And that's been really difficult. I haven't had a harder sermon lead up than this. God getting to that space where I could preach about weakness and it's acknowlegment and acceptance with integrity has meant that these past six weeks have been some of the most emotional I've seen in a long time. I've been up and down so much. It's been quite a journey. And it's a story that's definitely too fresh to share. And perhaps too personal in many ways to mean anything to anyone but me.

I finished writing my sermon at about 2pm. But I wasn't going all that time. I had a sleep and trip to church and I ran the sunday morning group. So a lot has happened it between.

Now I have to put it in my brain. This is a little difficult and I never feel like I know it well enough. Oh well. God will get me through. He always does.

I'm about to start writing my sermon. This is my timing post see how long it takes me.

Actually I've written it really. I've spent the last few hours walking around the house shouting in an American accent. Now it's time to put it on paper though. Make it all make a little more sense.

Next step after that is do it natural, see if it sounds fine when I'm not pretending to sound "preachy".

Ready, set, go...

Sister, I won't ask for forgiveness, my sins are all I have - Bruce Springsteen

Gem told me about that line the other night when we were out at Steve's gig. We were playing a game where we would quote a line from a song and the other person would have to guess the song. I liked that line, so now it's on my blog.

I just had a biff with the Foxtel woman. They wanted to charge us $137.85 for installation when we've already got a Foxtel port and all the Foxtel person would have to do is plug in three cords. Those same three cords which they made us unplug and post back to them when we didn't want Foxtel anymore. She told me that it was the same price for them to drill a hole in the wall and add a new port as it was for the man to just plug in three cords. I asked if it would be smarter for us to get a new port put in so we could get our value for money. She wasn't in a very good mood. She said "I'm not going to bargain with you".

In the end I said I wasn't sure if we wanted Foxtel because it was a bit of a waste of money. She played my bluff and asked if we wanted to cancel the installation, I said I'd have to talk to other people about that.

I think we should get another Foxtel port put in. That's a good idea I think. Means more places to plug our modem in.

The Sydney Morning Herald is going to start being delivered on Monday week. This is a very exciting thing. I get my morning paper again. I was having much information withdrawal not having my morning paper. Yay, the joys of cornflakes and biased reporting.

Today is another assessment writing day, bah, bugger, poop. I'm going to try and be quick. Mmmhmm.

Really today is writing day. I'm a little sick of spending my Saturdays in front of my computer. But it's better than my 3ams on Monday morning. It's a nice day outside. I could get a laptop and work outside. Or a pen and paper. Ooo. That would be novel. Today I might try and utilise my front yard for some of the work I have to do. Yeah, I like that idea.

To begin my commenting on Matt's blog:

Christian Vocations

I wrote this to Jo my sister the other day in an e-mail, so I'll cut and paste it:

Jem was saying that there was something in one of the sessions at Black Stump there was a discussion about people working in full time mission work and that sort of thing and if everyone is called to that. She was saying that sometimes the impression is given that if you work full time for the church or for a mission organization somehow what you do is more important than if you’re an engineer, or an accountant, or a teacher. That annoys me. Sometimes when you hear people talk about going into ministry they say they wanted to do something more important, something with a more lasting impact, something of eternal significance. That’s silly. The eternal significance of any vocation will be found in whether God wants you to be there or not, not in whether it’s secular, worldly or disposable.

I'm all for secular employment. The church is way too insular. We need to be out being Christians, not in being Christians.

I might go find secular employment next year. For a day or something. As I've said, I want to hang around people who swear, I know too many Christians. I live in a Christian ghetto.

Ok. Well perhaps yesterday is in order.

I think I discovered how people can go crazy when they spend a long time by themselves. I had a lot of annoying circular thought patterns yesterday.

Yesterday I planned to do my passport then go and sit in Wahroonga park and do sermon stuff. The post office was busy so I had to kill 45 minutes so I sat in Westfield drinking fresh orange juice (that's two days in a row I've had fresh juice from a shop, there's something wrong with me) and reading about 2 Corinthians 12:1-10.

Then I went and got my passport thing done, went home, ate some pie, had a sleep, interacted with my New Zealand cousins, hopped on a train.

I took my mini-disk and my book (Tandia) and caught the train to see Delle's play. It was a fun trip. I like to do stuff by myself sometimes.

I walked up Broadway listening to Powderfinger then took myself to Broadway shopping centre where I bought myself a large plate of average tasteing chinese food. I read my book, drank Coke and ingested sweet and sour pork. Then I couldn't finish it so I threw it out and thought naught of starving kids.

I then continued on to find the Seymour Centre. I got a little lost, because Mum gave me the wrong directions, but I rang home not to far into my wrong path and it turned into just a scenic detour. I went to the toilet then met Dave, Helen, Jo, Matt and Rob S with 5 minutes to spare.

Delle did good. I'd be very proud of her if I was her Mum. The play was good too. Was fun. I understood it too. There were a few things about the script that I didn't really like, but it was good. There were a lot of English accents.

After the play I walked back to the station. No music this time. More circular thinking. I paused to enjoy various bits of street art. Felt a little silly bit I wanted to enjoy my trip home.

Caught the train. Read my book. No music.

Walked home. Music.

Slept. No music.

End.

There are so many things that I want to blog about. Yesterday being one of them.

Every time I read Matt's blog I think, "Hey yeah, I want to talk about that". Perhaps I'll do a long thing where I can talk about all the issues that have come up. You know, do the soap box thing.

But that's not now's job.

Now I'm just slotting in a quick blog before we pray for youth group this term.

Now I would have to say I'm done. It's been slotted.

That skeleton living faith is faith in practice rather than faith in essence. Just to clarify.

Or maybe it's not. I'm not sure. I haven't figured that out either.

Hope is a flame that kindles new expectations by grasping at passing straws - Tandia

Phillip Yancy said something like "Faith is the flesh that lives on the skeletons of doubt."

Actually he didn't say anything like that, I just looked it up, but it makes sense to me. Maybe I made that quote up.

I've been thinking a little about faith and hope, how they differ, how they interact, what goes where. I haven't figured anything out yet. I guess I could if I wanted to go all theological on myself, but I don't want to, not yet.

Things I should have done yesterday

- Go to Town Hall and have a coffee with a Rev who's trying to give me a new job next year Did this. He was talking about a few years down the track. We had juice.
- Get a passport photo taken Done
- Buy 50 stamps Done
- Buy 220 gsm paper I only got 200gsm but it still works
- Get David to endorse my passport photo Done
- Lodge my passport application I did that today
- Go to Loftus and get my books from College Done
- Print 60 programs for youth group The printer gave up after 34, but that was enough
- Go to work Done
- Post 60 programs for youth group I posted about 30
- Have a meeting to de-brief Black Stump Next week
- Plan my sermon Did a little today
- Write a Bible Study on Colossians Didn't do
- Meet my second cousins from New Zealand Done

Various members of our New Zealand family are visiting. So is Grandpa. He asked me to send our best regards and best wishes to Valya who is going to Moscow.

***This message has been brought to you by my Grandpa, who loves being famous***

I have done it because he was twisting my arm, and other various deadly tortures.

The day is sort of going to plan.

I give it an 80% success rate.

No more Black Stump de-brief. It just got postponed.

Things I have to do today

- Go to Town Hall and have a coffee with a Rev who's trying to give me a new job next year (I'm not going to take it though, I've told him this)
- Get a passport photo taken
- Buy 50 stamps
- Buy 220 gsm paper
- Get David to endorse my passport photo
- Lodge my passport application
- Go to Loftus and get my books from College
- Print 60 programs for youth group
- Go to work
- Post 60 programs for youth group
- Have a meeting to de-brief Black Stump
- Plan my sermon
- Write a Bible Study on Colossians
- Meet my second cousins from New Zealand

I have said "Grr" 11 times on my blog.

12 now.

Well haven't I had a very special day?

Again, detail wouldn't go down to well.

At around 3pm I was lying on the couch feeling dodgy and Mum was cooking eggplant something or other. Mum said "I think it's time I prayed for you" so she came over and sat at the end of the couch and said "Dear God, please make Tom better. Amen" or something like that. Feeling that that was a little inadequate she went into the kitchen and got the canola oil that she was cooking with and an annointed me like one of her eggplant slices. I said "Thanks mum", then headed off to bed.

Since then I've been much better. I still have a few little pains, and wobbles, but nothing compared to pre-3pm. Nothing I couldn't give you a detailed description of on my blog. It's very good. A little bit of healing never did anyone any harm.

We all like God.

Not that we didn't like God before.

Tonight I will go to community dinner and eat mashed potato. Mum's making it for me. She's a good Mum.

I'm home now. No college for me tonight.

I thought I'd come home because I was feeling mildly sick. Yesterday I was feeling much more dodgy, but I thought I'd come home and get a good sleep in my own bed so I didn't deteriorate. But I didn't need a bad night's sleep. It all went really pear shaped once I got home. Bler, sick, bler.

I would like to talk about my problems but I think it may be a little inappropriate if you know what I mean.

Anyway, the good news is that I think I'll stay home tomorrow. Sleep in. See what Tuesdays look like in Hornsby.

Rob and I watched Punch Drunk Love. Very romantic in a kinda stuffed up, dysfunctional, kinda way. But we're all stuffed up and dysfunctional, some just show it better than others. I did like very much. Yay for Adam Sandler, Emily Watson and Paul Thomas Anderson.

It had really dodgy special features.

My family is talking about getting Foxtel. This is an interesting prospect. I don't really want it. I'm kinda excited, and that's part of the problem. I was looking at the website the other day (I think I was working on my assessment) and there is nothing on. Nothing on Foxtel is worth watching. And the worst thing is if we get it, I'll watch it. I'm going to "crap my life away" in front of the TV. This is the problem, if we don't have TV I can't watch it. It's kinda like if you're an alcholic you don't go to a bar. TV is so depressing.

Maybe getting Foxtel will teach me self control, plus the Britney Spears movie is on this month too!

One day I'm going to stay in a five star hotel.

Someone at college was trying to find infomation about the Yavneh Yam ostracon and they found my post complaining that there was nothing on the web about the Yavneh Yam. I don't think they found my post any help.

Now that I think about it I think it was "sickness, sin and Satan!". Just to be a correct quoter.

I did wake up feeling dodgy but I don't think it's Matt's flu. I think it might be something I caught from Howie.

It's just making me feel dodgy. Sore joints, headache, cough, sore throat, weakness.

I dropped the brown suger all over the floor in the kitchen this morning. Jo cleaned it up for. Very nice of her.

I walked up to the cinema tonight. I wore my daggy Youthworks jumper. I put Matchbox 20 in my mini-disk and I went walking. I put my hood on, my hands in my pockets and walked along feeling like Eminem. I figure he doesn't listen to Matches though.

I walked home too. It was a bit colder. There were less people. A lot more police. I was hoping they would pick me up for walking like a gansta rapper. They didn't. Better luck next time. I probably feel more like Eminem than I look, I guess.

I'm feeling a bit sick. Like I've got a flu coming on. I've had a sore throat all day. Perhaps I'm getting Matt's flu. It's kinda nice catching diseases from other people, it's got a nice community feel to it.

Anyway, perhaps tomorrow I will wake up feeling terrible.

Hopefully not though. Let's see if I can conquer "suffering, sin and Satan!"

I'm going to go see The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen with David. That's my reward. That's my chocolate. That's the doggy biscuit after rolling over and playing dead.

I wonder if I am over rewarding myself. Academic work, ever since around year 9 has always been a huge thing for me. I never studied till...never. I still don't study. Writing assessments and stuff always gives me this great feeling of achievement at the end. I feel like I've done something completely un-natural. I think I think any academic work I do is massive and deserves many cheers for myself.

I don't cheer myself for doing other big things. Perhaps I do.

I've been thinking lately that I might be self-obsessed. It worries me.

I don't look in the mirror nearly as much as I used to.

"Hello Tom"

I am now finished.

Phew. Bler. Poopsies. Blahdlhlaglfglbfqlbaf.

There we go, that's out of my system. I think I might go amuse myself with something. Maybe a reward. A chocolate.

I managed to lose a third of my assement at around 3pm. That annoyed me. The computer died and the auto-recovery did dodgy things to me.

My arms are sore.

Maybe I have RSI.

While I worked I listened to:

Being John Malkovich - Soundtrack
Magnolia - Soundtrack
Karma - Delerium
Music to Feel Left Out By - Christoph and The Howie
Conspiracy No. 5 - Third Day
Chillout Annual 2002 Disk 2 - Ministry of Sound

Today is assessment day again. I grr again. The rest of my house and lots of my friends have gone to a wedding. And I'm stuck here. How sad.

I had a meeting this morning for a concert that I'm doing something or other technical with (I never think of myself as a technical person and it freaks me out being put in the catagory, I don't know hardly enough acronymns and I know nothing about electricity, two things that define a technical person in my books). I turned up at this meeting at 9:32 feeling very good about myself and only two minutes late, but I got a look from everyone sitting in the chairs. They were all looking very established and it quickly became known to myself that I was 32 minutes late. Oh well. I missed the boring bits they told me.

Now I have to do my assessment. That was thursday's job but I didn't do it. I never get it done on thursdays. The last minute is too far away to have any real bearing on my motivational state. Now it's a little closer so I'm hoping its foot is long enough to give me a kick up the bum. I'm jealous of James, he's got his finished.

Well I'm going to start work now, at 12:30pm. And I'm not going to blog untill I'm done. That's my motivation.

Yay.

See you in a few hours.

Comeback cd of the week:

No Name Face - Lifehouse

Bler

Haiku for Lesley

My nice friendly blog
Words and words mashed together
Making mess on web

I wasn't being sarcastic then.

My family turned up. I got about a page of my book read before I got sent to woolies to buy Red Kidney Beans. Now dinner is coming and we can sit around and have family time with my lovely Aunt.

I'm supposed to be having dinner with the family at the moment but the family isn't here. I'm having to amuse myself on the internet.

I'm listening to Bjork for goodness sakes!

Perhaps I will go read my book. At home on a Friday night reading a book, I don't know if that's depressing or liberating.

I got to see where Jo works today. I went to the Pub to have our Sunday school leaders meeting. It was much less emotionally traumatic than when I had a youth group leaders meeting in Hornsby RSL. There were less people to look at us funny when we read the Bible and prayed. It also took about 15 minutes. The rest of time I got a tour of the pub (that took 2 minutes) and we chatted about HSCs, fashion, school, and the people Jo works with. I also got to witness a momentous historic occasion while I was there. I saw Matthew Hayden get his world record test innings. I didn't know it at the time. I just saw cricket on the tele on the other side of the room, and the name "Matthew Hayden" come up on the screen a lot. But now I know what I was witnessing. I'll be able to tell my kids when I'm old "I was there the day Matty Hayden scored the biggest test innings batting score thing ever". And I will grow to even greater heights of greatness in the little, awe filled eyes.

At Black Stump James wrote "Sexy Beast" in the dirt on the back of my van. I thought it was kinda funny so I left it there.

At some stage in the following few days someone else wrote "I wish my wife was this dirty". I didn't find that as funny so I rubbed it off when I noticed it on Tuesday evening.

The car has new tires. Dunlops. It feels nice.

We watched Adaptation tonight (Jo, Howie and I, after our dinner at House of Chan). It was a damn good film. I really really liked it. There were many scenes where I thought, "Man, that Charlie guy is so much like me".

I'm not planning on killing James. I do disagree. I think I disagree whole heartedly with the refugee thing. I'm not too concerned about the money thing. It annoys me that private schools get a lot of money when public schools should be getting that. I'm not really concerned about the little ones, but the big Barkers, Knox, PLCs and the like. They get huge amounts of money and I remember sitting in my public school in one of Sydney's poshest areas thinking "This stuff sucks" (Not that being in a posh area should get you a better education, but you'd think the Government would want to spend more money in the rich areas, it makes political sense).

So that's my abbreviation. But I don't know a lot about the private school thing. I'm not really one way or another. I think they are probably ok. We should spend more on public education. That I am damn sure of.

I don't think that fleeing persecution or staying in Australia too long, or thinking that Australia is a better country to live in than your own is any reason to lock someone up.

So there you go.

I like James a lot too. He's a top bloke.

This is a very cool video, Johnny Cash is a legend.

I would love to get a digital camera and take it everywhere with me. I would take photos of my day and then I could stick them on my blog. That would be so cool. I would love that.

Maybe I'd get two cameras. One little one to take everywhere and one really good phat one not to take every where but to take much better pictures.

I can't afford either of them but it would be fun.

Why are the no sites out there telling me about the Yavneh Yam (Mesad Hashavyahu) ostracon? Huh? What's wrong with the world today?

I say the web is useless.

It's another assesment day today, so I say:

Bugger

I got two visits from Ireland last month. I think it was Bono, then Bono showing his friends.

capRe dayYester

I went to Chatswood to visit Grandpa. I hooked up his video and DVD player so he could start a massive illegal DVD/VHS copying business. Then we went and had lunch. We ate some average Chinese and talked about Grandpa and Grandson things, baseball, and I can't think of anything else Grandfathers and their Grandsons talk about.

We didn't talk about baseball actually.

I thought about continuing on to the city and sitting in a park and reading a book, but I decided not to when I realised I'd have to buy another ticket. I thought about going to see a movie by myself and relishing my individualism. That didn't happen either. I just went home. I read my book on the train. I also listened to something or other on my mini-disk which I'm sure I enjoyed.

Sat around at home.

At 7:31pm Rob, Jo and I left the house to go train catching and see the jive express (I've learnt recently that they don't use capitals). We missed our train so had to sit around on Hornsby station. I was acting a little strange, earning me the scorn of Howie. We got rid of him somewhere around Artarmon when he went downstairs and fell asleep and left Jo and I to have meaningful discussions, and all my craziness left with him.

We met up again at Wynyard.

We arrived at The Basement where we met Matt (who has updated just quietly, no commitments, I think it's just a casual blogging arrangement) and Helen. We saw a band of CCC-ness. At the door they gave me a stamp on my arm which was really nothing to write home about. The CCC-ness were good. We found ourselves a spot in the corner and set up camp for the night.

The jive arrived and played good. Yay for them. I applaud them still. Very funky. Yo yo! There was good company, good music. Sometimes the good music was to loud to take full advantage of the conversations that can be had in the good company, but I don't mind. I would have gone with bad company, or no company, so I think the music takes precedent.

Very close to the end (I'm hoping) Rob and I (Matt had gone home because his head was going to implode from flu-ness I heard) walked Jo and Helen to the ferry. They met some young females down there who had made friends (or at least attracted) an under the influence Jamaican. I stood by keeping my eye on him, thinking man-ly thoughts, ready to jump in at the slightest sign of danger, but I put the risk assessment to low so just stood by and offered correction when Jo told him that the Basement was 2 meters away from the wharves. Rob and I got in trouble later for not being man-ly and scary enough. Oh well.

We said good-bye to the girls and headed off to McDonald's so I could get some dinner. We walked all the way to George St because it's the closest one open after midnight. On the way two guys with shaved heads and scary faces sized us up and I tried to look as little and un-worth bashing as possible. I think they got the hint and kept walking.

In McDonald's I spilt my large Coke all over the counter. That made me feel silly.

At 1:somethinglate am the nightride bus came and took us to Hornsby.

From Hornsby Rob and I walked all the way home in the middle of the road. That was good. One car beeped at us.

I went to bed at 2:57am. Wednesday nights in the city are becoming a theme.

I found a quote from Survivor that I thought might be worth blogging:

If I have to make one more hospital corner, I swear, I'll stick my head in the food processor.

Now I have comments.

Posh.

I'm reading Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk again, and it's a damn good book. So many times I think to myself, I should stick that quote on my blog, but then I realise the quote is only good in context. The whole book is contextual. It doesn't make much sense if you haven't read the rest of it. But if you have it's really snappy and cool. Top marks to Chuck.

Things I would like to blog about but don't/won't/shouldn't:

- People that annoy me
- Sex
- Love
- Lust
- Gossip
- My feelings (more explicitly)
- Other people's feelings
- Speculation on other people's feelings
- Criticism of people I know
- Swear words (really bad ones)
- Theological issues (occasionally I slip)
- Archeological indicators for the validity of the Old Testament
- Poetry

I think that's it.

Monday

Packed up. Went home. Big convoy leaving stump. There were around 9 cars I think. That was pretty cool. I love convoys.

We got home. I had a shower and washed some clothes.

Rob and I went out to the RSL for dinner, then we went and saw Bad Boys II. It wasn't a bad film. A bit of fun.

We saw an old school friend and a girl I used to work with at the cinema whose name I forgot, after the movie. The school friend asked us what we were doing with our lives. We both said youth work. I wondered what that looked like. Two guys who wanted to be famous film makers both saying youth work. I wonder if we just stamped "Failure" to our heads.

It don't matter, I know why I'm here, and it's not because I failed. It would have taken at least another 3 years before I quit film-making out of failure I reckon.

Sunday

I didn't go to a worship option in the morning. Headed off into the bush and had my own God time. That was good fun. I spent about an hour chewing the fat with God. We went through the usual discussions and requests and wrestles and thank-yous and all the rest of it. I read my Bible sitting on a log looking at where Main Stage used to be in the eighties and early ninties. It was really good to get away.

I was late to the pre-Hands and Trains meeting for that afternoons show because I had to go to Off Broadway and talk to our tech guys and test the dvd. I heard the end of a Bible study which was good. I lay in the sun thinking about temptation (which is what he was talking about) and thinking about skin cancer (which is what I was worrying about). It was a very pleasant wait. When I talk to the tech guys they built a change room for us. That was very nice of them.

This show went off good too. I only had one stuff up. The music was louder. It was nice to get my work done.

Sunday afternoon was spent meeting internet buddies, and friends.

I watched the comedy debate. That was a very interesting experience. I was appaled by the treatment of one of the debaters by the audience. This one guy was having a shocker but the audience were so rude. They were shouting and booing and calling for the gong. It was quite un-pleasant. The cheersquad at the beginning made me laugh. As did Fraser.

The big meeting was good. Mike Pilavachi was very funny and taught good. People cheered Tim Hughes when he came up like he was a rock star. That made me cringe but he reacted well, and Mike payed him out more than usual, probably in reaction to our "awe-ness" as a crowd.

We were very squashed. I got to know the people sitting around me very well. We had four crazy teenagers sitting near on out toes who spent all night being annoying, shouting, giving each other high fives, and diving for offertory buckets and pushing 5 people out of the way in the process.

I went and saw Paperadio with Tim after dinner. I also stood in the tent showin the Grand Final for about 10 minutes to absorb some male-ness into me. I even cheered and went "ooooh" at the appropriate moments.

At around 1:25 I headed over to The Metro to see The Outback Hippies. Lightly Salted Peanuts were on. They started late. It was their last gig. I'd seen em a few times. They weren't bad. I like them a bit. A bit of fun they were.

The Hippies started somewhere around 2am. They went off. There as a lot of there. I danced. The Hippies are the one time in the year where I'll dance. And it was good fun. They are very cool. I had a lot of fun. They finished at around 3:45. Yeah baby. So cool.

I bought a Solo then went to bed.

I was woken up later when it was a little lighter. I thought "Here we go, someones playing a joke on me." I thought it was someone from my crew. The outside was unzipped, then the inner fly thing, then the fly screen, and standing there were two girls and one guy probably all about 16, none of who I had ever seen before.

"Good morning, what can I do for you?" I said.

"Hello." said the guy "Is my Dad in there?"

"No. Sorry"

"Are you sure my dad's not there?"

"Yeah, I'm sure your dad is not in here. It's just me"

"Ok good bye." And they left and I went back to sleep.

Saturday

Started early and cold. After breakfast we went up to the Big Top for the morning meeting. Rob did the Stumper's Prayer. The band played lots of worship music and the lead guy talked a bit too much for my liking. They talked a lot about water. Got a little boring but they got their point across.

Mike Frost talked. He also talked a lot. But he talked alright. And he was the speaker so it makes sense he would talk.

I went to a Bible study with an American lady who spoke with an American accent and was talking about lament. I liked the session but she seemed a little like a cross between a social worker and a talk show host.

We did some advertising in the Village. We did a album signing with Zac, that went very well. We set up a table and a chair and put some signs up. About 25 of us lined up with empty cd cases with fake Zac Malise album covers, and waited for Zac to arrive. Zac came walking through the village, everyone cheered then clamored (is that the right word?) for his autograph. Many onlookers were perplexed. Some even joined the line. It was a perfect rent a crowd moment.

I hung out in the village after that, meet old youth group kids, old ISCF friends, college buddies, and current youth group leaders. It was a very pleasant afternoon.

We did Hands and Trains that night. That was my most depressing experience of Stump. Technically it all seemed to go wrong from my end. The music was too quiet and the lapels were stuffing up (which wasn't my problem) and the dvd was mis-behaving, time code stuffing up and I was pressing the wrong things at the wrong time. I came away feeling pretty dodgy.

I went and saw Me and Ty, with Mike and Rich, they were fun. They were very different from what I expected. It was good fun. Mike said he'd meet me, but he disappeared. I started getting stressed because I had to go and have a pre-TOOBSC meeting and Mike was no-where to be found. In the end I left and found him in Village Central on my way back to the tent. I gave him a verbal slap and told him to see us tonight.

We had out pre-TOOBSC meeting and I did the Bible bit. That was fun. I enjoy doing Bible bits. The Bible is good fun. Talking about Jesus is good fun.

I decided that this was going to be a good show. It had that feeling. I took my dvd player this time to replace the one they had at the venue.

We had a good show too. No problems for my part of the woods. I got to watch the show. I got to watch Matt do his thing, which I didn't get to do the night before and that bugged me, so it was nice. Matt did good, but Matt always does good.

I think it all went off better. The audience was smaller, but it all felt better. I came away happy.

Before bed I went and saw the last four songs of Jive Express. They were the bomb. I was very impressed. The lead singer is leaving. He's having his last gig on Saturday. I think I'll go seem 'em tomorrow night. Yeah.

Friday

Started too early.

We left (James, Helen, Jo, Gemma and I) about 2 hours late. We had McDonald's on the way. Gemma kept telling me to change lanes, but I'm not as speedy as she would like I think. I did have two cars following so I didn't want to change lanes till unless there was a gap big enough for 3 cars not one.

Black Stump was looking the same. I camped with my church in a different site. It was the first time I haven't been on site 2 in about 8 years I think. It was a little strange. But fitting I feel now. I didn't feel the need to replicate the Black Stump experience of previous years.

I set up my tent.

And now I'm going to stop the running commentary.

We had our first show of TOOBSC which was good but I found it difficult to pay attention because I had a funny dvd player. I felt a little flat, but I think that was just me. We had an hour and a half of pre-show stuff, Bible, singing, prayer, warm ups (I didn't participate in that), 'twas good.

I finished very hungry and very tired. I didn't eat much dinner before the show, nerves. I ate after, I was hungry. I went to bed at 11:50pm. Early really, by any of my standards.

So here we go.

Thursday

Interesting day. I knew it would be a bugger to make the Black Stump DVD of TOOBSC and Hands and Trains. I tried to do as much as possible but discovered a few problems. The cds that Helen gave me with music and photos on them both didn't work. I had the same problem with music on the Saturday before. I went on a search for the missing music. It was a Paul Colman Trio song. No-one near by seemed to have PC3 on cd, but James in Ulladulla had it. Only 3 hours south, no big deal. He was coming up anyway so I asked him to bring it.

It also occurred to me that I had had very little leisure time recently and probably wouldn't get any soon, so I went and saw Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl with David in an idle moment of the afternoon.

David went to buy his ticket, showed his student card and asked for one to the "Students of the Caribbean". That was funny. I followed him and a showed my card and asked for one pirate to the same film. Mine wasn't as funny but I had to join in the fun.

I finished that came home. Started rendering the video. James arrived. I fixed the music. Started rendering again. We went out to the House of Chan for chinese. That was exciting. I figured I couldn't do anything else while the rendering was happening. That was good fun. I like the House of Chan. So much class.

We got home and the rendering had died about a minute after we left the house. I tried rendering the video about another 8 times before it worked. Helen and Jo came around to drop off a working cd of photos for Hands and Trains and I put that together when TOOBSC had finally rendered.

In the end I finished at 4am as previously mentioned. I got to pack and have a quiet time though during those early morning hours while I had nothing else to do but pray that the computer would behave.

Ryan called me a "hopless young lad" and I'm assuming that other virgin in his "Hopeless Virgins" heading is me because, apart from Ryan, as far as I can tell, there isn't anyone else mentioned in that post.

Not that I have a problem with that.

I want to do the post Stump recap but it's too late. So I won't.

Obscure quote for this morning hour - "I can't help it but I feel like an idiot anyway"

Ryan got to watch Roman Holiday. Gregory Peck and Audrey in one movie. I'm so jealous. I would love to see it. But they don't have it at Ezy, at least not on DVD anyway, and I'm too much of audio visual snob for VHS.

We saw this stupid Pepsi ad on the way home from Black Stump today. Made us laugh.

"Thirsty?"

Black Stump today. Very Exciting.

Got to bed at 4am last night. I'll be happy if I don't make another DVD for at least a week.

I went to Soul Survivor tonight. 'Twas good.

Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me for Me) was on the radio tonight as I drove home. I like that song. It's a nice song. So happy. And nice.

I like the bit where he sings:
She has got so much to offer
Why does she waste all her time with me
There must be something there that I don't see

I don't eat enough dinner. Dinner is my most skipped meal at the moment. That's not good.

I was thinking I might take myself out for a trip to the petrol station, see what they have. I wish we had all night diners in Hornsby. Ones that make seedy hamburgers. That would be cool. We have Magic Kebab. I might go do that.

Problem is I have no money. I should have been paid today, but it hasn't arrived yet. Perhaps there will be no Magic Kebab for me.

The family ate out tonight I think. I hope they had Chinese. I like Chinese.

Not until they find a way to convert
drool into energy will dogs be a
truly efficient source of propulsion.

(Chris Lipe)

Ruminations

My bank account has -$58.23.

Blessed are the poor in wallet.

Perfectionists shouldn't be allowed in the arts.

Then again neither should compromisalists.

Perfectionists will commit suicide if given the chance. Compromisalists will give in or give up if given half a chance.

I don't think anyone should be allowed in the arts. There should be no arts. Only television. That's safe.

The Return of the King and The Matrix Revolutions trailers have arrived. Both in one week. How posh. How exciting. My year is becoming complete.

I will be there to see them. When night falls, and the city is asleep, I will be there. I will line up. I will watch. I will enjoy. Who will stand with me?