1/23/2003 05:22:00 pm

Spider Crisis!

Posted by Tom French |

Last night I had a spider crisis.

I headed off for bed at around 1:30am. When I arrived at the bathroom, there was a big hunstman on the doorframe. The spider had been living in the bathroom previously, but he seemed to be making a move for my room. Anyway, I slowly and carfully entered the bathroom, inching my way in on the opposite of the door way. I was quite lucky I didn't get attacked then, lucky he didn't jump at my throat and rip out my windpipe.

In the bathroom, I got ready, admired myself in the mirror, did my teeth, then wiped my mouth on my towel. When I put my towel down, which is near the door, the spider got a fright and scuttled away. That would have been a good thing except he scuttled right onto my door.

Now what was I going to do? I certainly wasn't going to use my door. Went and turned on a light so I could get a better look. Then I sat down in a chair and prepared to played the waiting game. The seige of my room had begun. I was going to stave the spider away if I had to.

While sitting in the chair I considered all the options:
Catching the spider with a jar and piece of cardboard - Too scary, not safe for my hand
Scaring the spider with something so it would run away - Not safe, the spider may run under my door and into my room
Bringing in the dog so she can eat it - As much as I hate spiders I don't like to kill them, not unless they are funnel-webs and extreamly likely to to kill you (as opposed to this spider which was only most likely to kill me)
Sleeping on the couch - the best option, but I was only wearing shorts and t-shirt and thought I might get cold

There didn't seem to be any options.

I got up and paced. From certian positions in the room, I could see the spiders eyes glinting at me, like two little beads of evil. When I sat back down in the chair I thought to myself, "If only there was a girl around that I wanted to impress, this whole thing would have been over a lot quicker."

Then I had a brain wave!

I carefully moved back into the bathroom and got myself the broom and mop. From a mildly safe distance of about one and a half metres away from my door, I used the broom and mop to push the dogs bed towards my door. When it got near my door the spider got scared and run up the door, away from the bed. I pushed the bed into place at the bottom of my door, blocking the way for the spider to enter my room by going under the door. Then I placed a cushion under next to the bed to futher block the escape route. After that I used my bravery and courage to use the broom to herd the spider back to the door frame of the bathroom, and then ultimately back into the bathroom itself. The spider was back where it came from, and I was safe and only half an hour late for bed.

When I did settle down for bed I place a rug at the bottom of my door just incase the spider came back. That done I exhaustedly headed for bed. But instead of being able to fall peacefully asleep, I found the Robert had cunningly placed my bin inside my doona cover.

It's a hard life for a spider hunter.

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