Church was really interesting tonight. We had Cafe Church which is usually evangelistic, but we didn't push it that way. So we did an evangelistic service but I'm not sure many people thought to invite friends. Jamie led worship at our church for the first time in perhaps years. It was good to have him back, if only for a special guest appearance.

I preached tonight. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I didn't really like the sermon. I'm not sure how other people view their sermons but I make a big deal of them. Every sermon I'm looking for magic (if you can say that). Each one feels like a new work of art that I'm putting on display. Or perhaps like a new film that I'm releasing. I'm always keenly aware that this could be the flop but I'm looking for greatness. Perhaps one day I'll find it.

I say this because nothing else in my life gets the same type of attention that a sermon does. But I went in tonight feeling under-prepared. And while a bad sermon that got thoroughly prepared is hard. A mediocre sermon that was completely under prepared feels a lot worse. I guess because it feels second rate, like it could have been great but it wasn't. Like Pop maybe.

But I had the choice between 4 days in Forster and an underworked sermon, or no holiday and a good sermon. I chose the holiday. And I think it was right, I needed the break. But that doesn't make the sermon feel any better.

What I did was grab an old sermon and re-work it evangelistically for a younger congregation. It all felt a bit messy and patched together. The old one was good. This one wasn't nearly as neat. I think I would have rathered work on a new one from scratch.

Preaching it was hard too. I think because the sermon was evangelistic but I knew most of the people hadn't come thinking evangelism, and 98% of the people in the room were Christians.

Usually you preach evangelisticly and you can feel the room coming with you a bit. They're all cheering you on because they want to see people become Christians too. But tonight felt different. People were tireder, less interested, in party mode, the sermon wasn't pitched at them, and they didn't have any friends they wanted to see saved. It is an odd feeling preaching an evangelistic sermon to a room full of Christians. It's preaching to the converted.

So that's my sermon debrief. I guess I just had to get that off my chest. Now I'll go to bed. I'm looking forward to the next time I preach. Always am I guess.