I don't own enough warm clothes for this trip.

So it's Monday and I'm going to Griffith tomorrow. It looks to be a very exciting place. Jo's Dad grew up there or something. He told me last night. They prayed for me in church last night. They prayed that Griffith would go well. I'm not really in the headspace yet to spend a week in the Mafia capital of Australia proclaiming the gospel. Oh well. I'll get there.

I have to write my talk tonight. I kinda know what I'm gonna say. Yeah. It'll be kinda like what I planned to do on Friday night except that the kids were too badly behaved. Well, I better get to work.

Well yesterday, again.

Yesterday was a good day. I got up at the appalingly early hour of 8am (got up at 7am today, terrible). Did my morning thing. Didn't have breakfast. Planned a workshop. Drove to church. At church I met Helen with Rob's camera and a dodgy old tripod and we discussed what we were going to do in the workshop that was starting in 15 minutes. We were workshoping so that we could fill roles for The Opposite of Being Self-Centred video.

We had five people turn up, Matt, Jill, Sal, Lauren and Delle (Isn't it as shame not one of them have a blog, how am I meant to make my posts colourful?). I had never met Delle before. She seemed like a nice person. We got them to play Soundball and Aliteration Alistair as warm ups. Aliteration Alistair was a game I made up while lying in bed awake the night before (as I'm back in the habit of doing). It was ok. Could be tweaked a bit. We followed this by making them mime to various pop songs to see how they looked as pop stars. They were quite funny. We all had a good laugh. Ho Ho Ho.

Then we workshoping the first scene of the script. It was good seeing something I had written happening. I like that feeling. Especially when it works and starts to take on a reality of its own, if I can sound wanky for a second. We swaped characters around and changed the scenes situationally (environmentaly, relationally and emotionally) each time. It made it interesting to see how each change changed the scene and how each actor adopted the changes into their behaviour.

The last task of the day was to send them off for ten minutes alone with the last scene of the film. The scene is a funeral scene and we gave them the eulogy to do. They all did very well. I was impressed at how brave they were. They it would be scary to play that scene. But they went there and that was good. I was glad that no-one started crying or I would have felt very awkward. It was good to see different people's take on the same scene. Some people came at it from emotionally different angles others and that was good to see.

Anyway, the workshop was lots of fun, and we now have lots of good stuff to work with. It's nice directing again. I have missed it. I'm hoping I don't have another Pure Joy on my hands.

Following this Jo met me at church and we headed off to Hornsby for David's party. We had some people come around to watch the video. There was mildly cold Coke to drink. The video went ok. It wasn't as good as I would have liked. I would have liked to have tightened it up a bit. Maybe people would have laughed more. Maybe spent more time on the "Acting with David" segment. That could have been better. But it wasn't bad. I think David liked it. We had a lot of footage for such an elusive fella. Robert will be easier.

We headed to the city by train and I reversed into a carpark at the station, before we caught the train. (There's a badly constructed sentence) In the city we watched The Hulk. It was alright. It had some good transitions, I liked the way they went for the comic book feel. Maybe there were too many of the transitions. The movie was a bit long and I go bored. The Hulk was good looking I think though. Ang Lee made it very serious.

We went to Bar Reggio in Darlinghurst. Hung out with lovely people. Jo and I tied Tinku's shoes to our chairs. He didn't mind untill I put the garlic bread up his trouser leg. Then he had a very noisy, and quite funny reaction. Ha ha. Ha.

Robert and Chris pretened to be all friendly with me, but were setting up to tie my legs around the table. They dogged me. I was a little stuck and everyone had a good laugh. It was only when my lovely sister came along that she saved me. We had fun at Bar Reggio. It was good of David to turn 21. Yay for David. He's a good bloke.

When I got home I went to bed. Hannah's bed because Robert was editing in my room. Hannah's bed was very uncomfortable, very soft and saggy. I didn't sleep. After an hour of rolling around and getting nowhere, not that anyone every really gets anywhere in a bed (except that's how most of us got here), I moved to the floor on a crappy little fabric covered foam mat. From there I slept un-soundly, but at least it was sleep.

I wrote such a long post at work about yesterday and my work computer and blogger being in cahoots and both dodgy, decided they wouldn't let me post it and would lose the post. Grr. I might start again.

I'm posting from work at the moment. I think my Internet Explorer is too old for the new blogger so I have this crappy, strange format to contend with. I'm listening to Crows live which is always beautiful. Ahh.

Home from David's party now. Was fun. Workshop today was fun. That's all I have to say I'm going to sleep now.

My blog is always advertising Bible software and stuff at the top. They must think I'm a Bible nut or something. How rude.

I used to complain that I had no shoes until
I met a man who had no feet. Then I complained
because he got the good parking spot.

(Jim Evarts)

I got that in Ruminations.

Ahhh. Finished David's video now. I was aiming for midnight. I was only 20 minutes late. Praise the Lord.

I went and saw Bruce Almighty with Ryan and Howie tonight. I can see sermon illustrations coming out of that one for a year or two. Just wait till it gets onto video and it'll be the Youth Church Service "let's show a video clip" film of the season. Shoot me if I use it.

It wasn't too bad though. I laughed. It was all a bit make you feel nice. Theologically crap, but really, that's not important. Morgan Freeman is a dude. My nose is running. I have a cold.

At Hornsby Odeon Cinema they are showing Phone Booth, The Matrix Reloaded, Johnny English and Whale Rider. So on the light up sign they have out the from that tells you what's on it says "Phone The Johnny Whale".

I wrote that last post for Ryan. I hope he laughed. I don't want to go starting rumours. I think I only know one Jenny and that's my cousin. I didn't spend all day thinking about her. I only thought about her 30 seconds ago when I started wondering if I knew any Jennies. (Is the plural of Jenny, Jennies?) Actually now that I think about it there are a few more Jennies around in my life but I don't know them very well.

If only it was legal to delete posts, then I wouldn't have had to write this silly post.

Spent all day thinking about Jenny. Thought I might ask her on a date. I'm too scared though. Thought I might make her a mix mini-disk too. Got scared of that idea also. Thought I might send her an e-mail. Too scared. I still thought about her.

Today when I was on my way to the college working bee (I was running an hour later than I'd planned, two hours late for the working bee) I was sitting on Central Station. There were two trains before mine was due. I was sitting in my chair near the lifts. There was a Japanise man sitting on the bench next to mine. I was waiting and I heard this low humming noise. As I listened to the nosie it started to get louder an higher pitched. It was coming from the direction of the lifts. Everyone started looking at the lifts. Some people started moving away from them. While I was watching the lifts incase they blew up or something I felt a poke in my arm. I turned around and saw that the Japanise man had poked me.

"Do you know what that noise is?" he asked.

"No, I have no idea"

He looked concerned, "September 11th" he said pointing at the lift.

"No I don't think it'll be September 11th" I said

"No, no, September 11th" he insisted.

"No, I think will be alright. I don't think we'll get attacked."

"No?"

"No. We'll be alright"

"Oh ok. My train is coming soon. I have to go to Rockdale" He said as a train pulled into the station. "Should I catch this one?"

I checked the indicator board "Yeah that'll be fine."

"What about the next one?" asked the man

"I think you'll be ok with this one" I said.

So the man hopped on the train. The train after it was a Millenium. I have never caught a Millenium. It wasn't my train but I caught it anyway so I could see what a Millenium was like. I was very excited. I caught it all the way to Hurstville. It was less comfy than the Tangaras but more spacious and had better lighting. The woman who announced the stations coming up (I only heard her once) seemed to be very excited about arriving at Rockdale. It was the most excited recorded voice I've heard in a while. It was good to catch the train but I don't feel the need to catch another one. I'll catch it if it's mine, not because it's special.

Update for those who are worried about what happened to the lift. The noise stopped and it didn't blow up. You can rest peacfully now.

Iannis says in Captain Correlli's Mandolin, the movie (probably the book too, which is forty million times better than the film) this. I thought it was nice.

When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your rootsb have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!

I've been thinking about whether I should weigh in on the women thing. Perhaps it's more the relationship thing. I don't think I will though. I don't really have anything to say.

On the marriages front though, I've thought a little about that. I don't think that laws are going to make marriages good. But it would be good if it could. I think people are selfish by their sinful nature, and so marriages suffer as a result. And so do the kids. “I don’t love you anymore” is not a good reason to end a marriage. If you don’t love a person, get to work doing it. I don’t figure you can go sixty years “feeling” love for the person you marry. I don’t think you can go sixty years feeling like you’re getting something out of a marriage. I think there are going to be times when you don’t want to be married anymore. You don’t like the person you wake up next to in the morning. But that doesn’t mean that the commitment you made when you got married is void.

When the Bible talks about love in 1 Corinthians 13 it says nothing about feelings. Love does and feels later. From my naïve and immature position, I reckon, that a marriage that relies on the selfless giving of one person to another, is one that is going to succeed. When that breaks down, on either side, the marriage is on it’s way to the dogs. When one person starts looking to their own interests before they look than that of their spouse and family, then there are problems that need to be sorted out.

I also believe that marriage is designed first and foremost to honour God. And a marriage that is first and foremost devoted to God has a better chance of survival. If one person is devoted to their spouse more than to God then they will inevitably be let down. The other person is as dodgy as they are. But God on the other hand is reliable. He is worth being devoted to and He will not let a person down. I think marriage may be the greatest place to practice love for God and love for your neighbour. God first, family second, you last.

So I don’t think laws will fix marriages. I think attitude changes, faith changes, heart and life changes, will fix marriages. I think there is just as much chance of a marriage going bad these days as there was in the past. These days though people have the legal and social freedom to get out of them easier.

But now that I’ve said all this, I don’t really know. I only know about marriage from what I’ve heard and seen, not what I’ve done. I have no proper idea why marriages go bad, and that’s not my problem. I don’t really want to judge other people’s marriages. I have seen way too many failed marriages, and don’t want to judge them. I love and respect the people involved. But I have seen way too many failed marriages and I don’t ever want to go there myself. I think I have as much chance of stuffing up a marriage as anyone else. But the above is what I believe a marriage should be like, and what, at this stage, I intend on sticking too. And by the grace of God I’ll die married to the only person I ever committed myself to, and committed to the only God I ever gave my life to.

I'm using Robert's computer at the moment. It's a bit of a dog. Kinda like my computer at work, although I've heard I'm getting a new one.

My house is a little crazy. Tonight at dinner I was sitting on a wheely chair so I often felt the urge to propel myself across the living room at great speed. These impulses I usually obeyed. Tinku spent all dinner stealing Mum's water and Jo stole Tinku's food. We all talked about our days. It took Dad a long time to get through his day because we were all being silly. Near the end of the meal I got the urge to pretend I was sitting on a dolly and found myself filming dolly shots on my wheely chair with my hands as the viewfinder.

After dinner we had a prayer time around the table where Robert and I giggled a lot. After the prayer time Robert and I started making strange noises, like machines. Mum joined in. Jo followed, as did Dad. Tinku was perplexed. Mum got up from the table to demonstrate the machine game properly. We all joined in. So I found myself tonight in the middle of the living room making machine noises and movements and forming a human machine with the rest of my household. It's usually a theatre sports game, but tonight it was a bit of after dinner entertainment. Tassa jumped around at our feet and joined in.

I came home today and walked into my room and found Tinku in my bed watching an Indian movie. He jumped up and looked very guilty. My Mum is the only one who never seems to look guilty when I find her in my bed. I seem to be often finding people in my bed. No worries. As long as I'm not in it.

I'm about 70 pages into Harry and he's being a little git. Selfish brat. That's what. Although Harry has always been pretty selfish, only endearingly so. And every now and again he does something that is not so selfish for one of his friends.

I bought the book today from Borders and read it on the train on the way to Hurstville where I was having a barbie with some of the people going to Griffth. Mitch picked me up at the station. I'm often struck with what a top quality guy Mitch is. He's top quality Mitch. Id my daughter told me she was going to marry Mitch, I'd say "Good on ya".

Today I sat on the back verandah of the church centre and read Harry Potter in the sun for about an hour. It was good fun. I think I might buy book five tomorrow. No solstice's tomorrow.

At church we did a live video outside in the church carpark where we made people feed each other custard and coco-pops blind folded. I was the presenter and had a british accent. I was meant to be Mike Pilavachi's brother, Eric. I wasn't though. I didn't know that's what I was introduced as and so I didn't play along. But it was fun doing a bit of live television. Ewan filmed. I couldn't hear what was going on in the church so I was just playing it blind, hoping my jokes were funny. I think I mentioned vomit four times. The contestents did well. Jo and her feeding partner got very messy. The other two cheated. The exercise was supposed to be an illustration for the sermon but no one tied it in so it was just silly coco-pops game. Oh well. Was fun.

After church Helen and I cornered people for The Opposite of Being Self-Centred. We are going to workshop it on Saturday with potential actors. Should be fun. I'm looking forward to being making this film. Stedicam and all I reckon. Yay-ness.

I don't really have too much to say. I think Col Jackman may have visited my blog today. He visited Howie's. It's a little strange. I never would have thought my old Geography teacher would be visiting my blog and reading about my life. He was a good geography teacher. Miss Bakewell was good too, but really scary. Col was only scary when he threatened to beat me up. But he never beat me up. And it was all in good fun.

I never wrote very good essays in geography. We had to write one a week. In my HSC Geography exam I drew a diagram of a Rhino at the Sydney Olympics. I don't think that I would have got very good marks for that.

I did well in Media Studies though. I worked there. Handed in everything. Other people would sit around the classroom talking but Rob and I would work hard. We loved our video. Still do.

When I went to this Evening of Performing Arts the other night, I was amazed. It was really professional. In a post theatre, the music sounded good, the dancers wore a lot more clothes than the St Ives dancers did. People didn't talk all the way through it, and I didn't get bored. It was High School performance done well.

There was no video though.

So there you go. There are my reflections about High School. I'm glad I did it. I said to Priscilla the other night that I feel like I'll have to go back to school soon. Like I've been on holidays for 3 years but I'm going to have to go back and start a new term. I think it's an extension of those dreams where they make you go back to school and you get angry at the teachers and kick them in the shins.

Anyway, just to finish up, Col was a good teacher. If I ever think about becoming a teacher (I do that very rarely) I think I'd be like Mr Jackman. But I wouldn't teach Geography (that's ok, I don't think he'd want to teach scripture). And I wouldn't push televisions down the stairs.

Vomit Remnants is a Japanise Death Metal band. This is one their website:

News(June,2003)-Vomit Remnants has been idle since The North Amercian Extermination Tour 2001 because of lack of members. Now Keisuke(Dummer) is the only one in the band, and wanting to continue Vomit Remnants. Now Seeking new members!!! Must be able relocate to Saitama/Tokyo, Japan. Must be dependable, dedicated, serious inquiries only!! Email Keisuke immediately.

http://www.vomitremnants.com/

www.vomit.com

I'm working on David's 21st video these days. David's a funny guy. I'm having a wonderful time. Unfortunatly watching David when he was 7 on video means watching myself too. I've been watching the Tom's TV videos and I'm a little prima donna. I'm not looking forward to my 21st. There is way too much video of me out in the world. But David is good fun. It makes me all nostalgic too.

When I went to my mentor's house on Thursday he and his wife were just about to put their four year-old son to sleep in the lounge room. Their son said "Hello" to me and told me what he did that day. They took him out into the lounge room and just as he was about to be put on the couch he vomited all over my mentor, himself, the two couches and the floor. The whole family ran off to the showers and left me in a lounge room full of vomit. I thought it might be nice of me to clean it up but I wasn't quite sure how one goes about cleaning up vomit in someone else's lounge room. I decided to read the Advocate instead. It wasn't very interesting.

Today is Harry Potter day. I didn't get my Harry though. I realised this morning that today is the Winter Solstice, and I realised why they released Harry today and not yesterday. I don't really feel like particpating, if even remotely, in a pagan festival. I'm not really sure why, I just feel uncomfortable buying the book on the 21st June. Kinda like a Jew going Christmas shopping I guess. Not that I mind Jewish people going Christmas shopping, or even Muslims. I like Christmas. Everyone should do Christmas.

I'm going to an Evening of Performing Arts tonight for the local High School for church. Half the leaders and a lot of the kids from youth group are in it. They keep calling it the EPA and I can never work out what they all have to do with the Environmental Protection Authority.

Tonight was good. Went to Youth Church. Choppa and Deanna asked me to pretend to be a German guy called Hans Feet. I wasn't very good at it. I can't do German accents. I said "Och" and "Aye". I sounded Scottish. Not real good.

Hung out with the chruch people, that was fun. They teased me at the coffee shop because they thought I was trying to pick up the waitress. I was just being friendly.

I'm at work listening to Luke Vassella. He's very good. I really like his music. So honest. So real.

I've finished all my work for today. I'm usually not this finished till about 10pm on a Friday night, but things are good at the moment.

In our lunch time group at school today I didn't expect many kids so I just read them this story. There were only two guys there. I think they liked the story. I like stories. We had a chat about what was worthwhile giving your life to and what people tended to give their life to. I always enjoy reading stories. For six months in Sunday School in 2001 I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and we ate cake. That was very good because I like cake. I don't think we really learnt anything though. We never finished the book. Oh well. Cake and stories. Who needs the Bible? We did pray. I remember that.

A Nine year-old girl in India has been married to a dog. I wonder if Tassa is looking to settle down.

Priscilla is at my house at the moment. She's editing a video of her year 12 concert. I tidied my room today. I also tried to write a Bible study. The Bible study was too hard. I'll write it tomorrow.

Robert is going to see Bruce Almighty tonight. That would be fun. I'm going to see my mentor tonight so I'll have to meet Bruce another day.

I haven't had a new visitor from the US for ages. Perhaps they have blocked me because I say rude things about George W.

I haven't said anything rude about Georgie for ages. Maybe I should think of something rude to say.

Hmm. Can't think of anything.

If you can't say something rude don't say anything at all.

I've said "sex" in 3 out of the last 4 posts (including this one). It's making me blush.

I watched The Matrix Reloaded again tonight with Matt. I fell asleep during the car chase. I don't think my view on the film has changed. There's still too much talk. I noticed that the ship names are still Biblical. Like the Logos and the Icithis (I think I spelt that wrong). But I enjoyed the action still. And I still disliked the dance/sex scene. I don't think it made anymore sense, but I wasn't really trying too hard. I was too tried.

I just saw a head line which said "Tower sued over underpayments to policyholders". I thought it said "Tower sued over underpants to policyholders". I thought that would be cool.

There were some young hooligans hanging out in the shed on the side of the tennis court behind our house. I went to our shed to get the broom and someone said "Shhh!" and sunk down low so that I could only see his head. I think they were having a good time in the shed. Probably doing drugs though. And having sex. And stealing cars.

Harry Potter 5 comes out on Saturday!

In England someone stole a truckload of the new Harry Potter book. The owner of the store the books were destined for said "We can't understand why anyone would want to steal the books because our price will be a steal on Saturday."

That man is a marketing genius.

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/06/17/1055828333504.html

Ryan and I once made a cd. It was called Bastion Host - Music to Bath By

These were the tracks on the cd:

1. Lover You Should Have Come Over - Jeff Buckley
2. Rushing - Moby
3. Flowers Become Screens - Delirium
4. This Kingdom - Nick Cave
5. Whatever Makes You Happy - Powderfinger
6. So What - Miles Davis
7. Rest Stop - Matchbox 20
8. Telegraph Road - Dire Straits
9. Colourblind - Counting Crows
10. Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses - U2
11. Reno - REM
Hidden Track - Corpus Christi Carol - Jeff Buckley

They could be wrong. I got the right artists though.

I believe that mix cds should only have one song from each artist. Unless of course you have a really good reason for having an artist twice. Like in the above case. We used Jeff twice as bookends. The cd is designed to take you on a bath time trip. It was designed to be like having a bath. The running of the water, the initial cleaning phase, the cathathic soaking phase, realisation that it's time to get out, the drying and the return to the bathroom when everything is cold and dark and there's condensation dripping off the walls.

I used to listen to Live. They were a good band before they became so shmulzy. I remember once I was listening to Throwing Copper, I was in year 9. There was someone coming over to pick me up so I turned it up loud because I wanted them to hear what hard core music I was listening too. I think I still get tempted to do that these days. Show off your music taste and you figure you'll impress people. Sometimes it's probably true. Most of the time people don't care and the rest they are less than impressed. But you always think your music taste is the best.

I made my MSN list fatter last night. I added six people. I reckon I'll have 15% success rate at non-blockers. I am most loved.

I watched The Importance of Being Earnest tonight. It was a very funny film. There were some good lines. None of which are on IMDB.

Like this line: The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her, if she is pretty, and to someone else, if she is plain.

Not that I agree with it. But I did laugh.

Been requested to tell everyone that Jo is still alive. Will be back at the end of week. Or maybe next week. Or the month. Perhaps year. I think the week.

Here's a movie that I forgot about and was worth forgetting.

Went and saw Stevie Bevis play at the Cat and Fiddle in Balmain tonight. It seems I only ever go to pubs to see Steve play. Twas interesting. We were a little late and his set was short. There were about 15 people there. There were a bunch that looked like that belonged in Balmain. They were all wearing stripy, brown, clothes. Very bler. I like listening to Steve. He's good to listen to. One of his songs I think would be really good for The Opposite of Being Self-Centred, the Black Stump thing. Then again, as Helen keeps saying, we may not get into Black Stump. I think we will. Black Stump is the bomb.

On camp I showed everyone the animal game. The game consists of sitting with everyone as a designated animal. To play the game people make the noise and action of their animal and the noise and sound of another player's animal. That player makes their noise and action then the noise and action of another animal, passing it around the group. It's a very silly game and everybody loved it. They loved it so much they wanted to play it over lunch. So over lunch on Sunday we found ourselves playing the animal game. Through the window I could see the other group that was at the camp sight at the same time as we were. They were having an extreamly charismatic prayer meeting. People crying, rocking, shouting, and doing various other things. It was a very interesting contrast to watch especially not being able to hear anything going on in the other group. One group playing the animal game. One group going full on in the Spirit. It was kinda like watching "Once Were Warriors" with no sound and the Wiggles playing. Maybe that's not the best analogy, but that's all I can think of at the moment.

So funny. Everyone has started discussing my love life. Howie and Ryan have both made announcments. James has offered me some very fatherly advice. Well I assume it's for me. All because of this post.

Howie has also engaged in sms conversations with my friends telling them I'm in love. I'm refusing to discuss how I'm feeling because anything I say, including this post, will probably incriminate me. I have chosen not to discuss anything. If I ever feel like discussing things, I'll do it with the people I want to, when I want to. That's very selfish of me. But really I don't mind people discussing my feelings. As long as it doesn't stuff up relationships, like make people awkward. That usually happens when people start using names. Other than that, it's everyone's favourite past time, a bit of gossip, a bit of fun.

I guess I haven't done very well with my "asexual presentation".

It's recipe time!

Rice and Dog

Ingredients:

1 Microwavable Hot Dog
1/2 Cup of Rice
1 Cup of Water
Tomato Sauce

Preparations:

1. Cook the rice (rice and water, 12 minutes on high in the microwave stirring occasionally)
2. Slice the hot dog into about 10 evenly sized pieces
3. Add cooked rice and hot dog to serving dish well mixed
4. Microwave on high for 1 minute (more if rice is cold)
5. Add tomato sauce to taste (preferably liberally) and mix thoroughly
6. Serve and enjoy

Variation: Try adding grated cheese after you have put in the sauce for a little more cheesy panache.

Serves 1

Well I woke up earlier than I planned and it seems I'm the talk of the town. I was looking forward to a full on sleep in. Nope. I woke up at 9:40am! 9:40. Goodness Smee!

I had a shower. Had a quiet time. Interupted my quiet time with talk of wedding videos and Mum and Robert being silly about girls. I went back to my quiet time. Finished that. Read some blogs. Went for a run aroung my house (that one left my perplexed at the end. I couldn't figure out why I wanted to run around my house, but I did). Did my teeth. Helped Mum with some newsletter writing. Put on Actung Baby.

At 12:30 I'm going up to Westfield for lunch with Robert, Tinku, David and Ryan. If anyone wants to join us, feel free. Westfield creates community.

I had a dream that I met Bono last night. U2 was playing at the St Ives Show and I was driving past so I pulled over and run up to the stage and screamed and acted like a girl. Then Bono and everyone else were packing up their gear so I went over to talk to him. We got on well and I had a really bad Irish accent. He was a really nice guy though. Much more friendly than you would expect from a big rock star. Not from Bono though, because Bono is very friendly to everyone.

Ryan slammed me for my treatment of the theatre flirt. I'm not fully sure of his tone of voice at the time of writing, but that doesn't really matter. He was being a bit silly, but I'm sure he doesn't approve.

I wonder what makes an awkward relater. I think I am an awkward relater. Maybe that guy was also an awkward relater. Perhaps I laugh because I am at the opposite end of the spectrum when dealing with girls. This guy was fully full on. I'm the opposite. I try and make sure that they have no indication that I like them in case I scare them and then never see them again because they are avoiding me. It makes for a very un-flirtatious life. In fact perhaps even anti-flirtatious. When I find someone I like I think I often get rid of a few of life's general courtesies (like greetings) for fear of being found out. I am also known to avoid the person while at the same time trying to run into them, because I am so torn between fear and attraction.

So, I admire the theatre flirt. I woudn't mind a bit of his courage I guess. Not too much though. I wouldn't want myself ridculed on my blog. I guess it's kinda ironic that someone as inept as me laughs at someone else's ineptness, but probably someone not nearly as inept as I. I am smug and comfortable in my asexual presentation to the world.

Except of course when it means I am never getting anywhere near the person I like. Then I am smug and comfortable and frustrated and that's a really bad state to be in.

Am home from camp now. Was good. Very good. Maybe I'll talk more about it later. Maybe not. I wouldn't mind a sleep. The people one the camp were all very nice. I did three low preperation talks. They went well I was told. I hope people weren't just being nice. I felt under prepared. But I guess had too much one this week. I think God did a lot of good things on the camp. There are some really onn fire kids in our youth group. It's good.

I had three year 7 boys to look after. They were good quality. I like my guys. We had the biggest d-team. The others all had two kids. And that's all I'm going to say at the moment. I have blogs to catch up on.

Robert sent me the vegan thing. Bastard got home today. My talks are far away from prepared. Grrr. What a smell. Oh well. Tomorrow looks good.

I got vegan evangelism in the mail today. I'm not sure why I got it. Maybe Ryan is hinting at something. I don't know. It had recipies in it so Mum asked if she could have it.

If you want one you can get one here.

Am having to write camp stuff now. Mmm. Must get working.

Today has been a blessing and there was no wrestling involved.

Update, update, update.

I just felt like writing that.

Proof was pretty good. Nothing was amazing. Except perhaps the set, that was really cool. Everything else was fine I thought, not crash hot, but fine. And it was very watchable. That was nice. Very easy to watch and it didn't feel long. I didn't have to think too much. I guess if they put a Hollywood drama onstage that play would be it.

I caught the train in with Helen. We discussed colleges, and drama and the like. I like Helen, she's a good chap.

During the play I was sitting there at the beginning and I thought I heard someone listening to their walkman. I thought that's very rude to have your walkman on during a play. Then I realised the noise was coming from my pocket. My mini-disk was playing U2. I don't think anyone else heard it, but I was very embarrased.

Most enjoyable moments of the night was the guy sitting in front of the girls. When they sat down he decided to start chatting to them, asking them why they were coming to the theatre, were they actors, he was an actor. That sort of thing. The rest of us noticed and exchanged amused comments. I was sitting next to Chris and James. They were both enjoying the spectical.

During the interval Mr Smooth Operator managed to have more of a chat about, not sure what. More amused commenting from the guys.

End of the show, this guy has gone in for the kill. He's leaning right over. Decided to focus his attention on just one of the girls. He's telling her he's got a play coming up, would she like to come along.

He asks for her number but she offers to take his so she can call him if she decides to go. All the people around her are supporting her, so she's not alone with Mr Leather Jacket Cool. He's taking no notice of anyone else. We're having a great time. I'm most amused, I'm watching a wonderful attempted pick-up in progress. I guess I don't get to see much picking up done, and I don't do any myself, so I was facinated.

When the number has been taken down he leaves, and we all file off.

Out in the foyer I also tried my luck asked her if she'd come and see my school play. I was playing a tree.

People laughed. That was good. He provided us with entertainment, and what do you go to the theatre for but to be entertained.

Post that, I tried to show Phil the cool jumpy thing at the Opera House carpark, but that failed miserably. There wasn't enough light so there was no fright factor. Then I caught the train to Roseville with Helen and Sal and discussed our Black Stump performance plans which are starting to look like fun. At Roseville Helen had ankle problems on the step, which made me feel quite helpless, but she survived, so that was good. Sal then gave me a life to my home, which was pleasant but I don't think we talked about anything of consequence.

And that was my first ever outing with church people and I continue to think they are all pretty cool.

Jo does.

That daytripper bit has got to be one of the most boring things I've ever posted. Who wants to read about train tickets?

Tonight I'm going to see Proof at the Opera House. I always like going to the Opera House because I get to sit inside an international icon and that's cool. Kinda like catching the train, or driving, across the harbour bridge.

Tonight is going to be the first thing I have done with people from church, outside of church. That's kinda exciting. Phil and Guin are going and I think they are really cool.

On Sunday night we (Phil, Guin and I) sat in Maccas till late talking about church and the Bible and stuff like that. They really like the Bible, and so do I. I guess that's what happens when you get Bible college students together. The Maccas staff turned some of the lights off and we kept talking. Then they turned the music up really loud and we decided that it was a cue for us to leave. The staff didn't know we were there and had locked the doors. They let us out though.

Anyway, I need to find a jumper to wear tonight. I might borrow Tinku's. I did get a new one from college, but I'm not a big fan of it. I bought it because I wanted like a college memento, rather then because I liked it as a jumper.

I bought a Daytripper train ticket today. It means I can catch the train as much as I like today, as well as ferry and bus. It's kinda fun. I figured I'd save $3.60 so I got it.

I am now all done with my exams. Short and sweet. Very nice. It's a really good feeling being done.

I didn't really learn anything in todays exams. It was pretty good. Nice questions and passages.

After the exam Gus, Rachel and I went and ate lunch together in the city. It was only McDonald's, but it was nice. I like Gus and Rach. They are nice people. I hope I can go visit them when they get married. We can have barbeques together. What am I talking about? I'd never have a barbie. I'd go if someone else organised it but I don't really like barbies. I guess they are just my idea of what married people do with friends, they have them over for a barbie. Maybe I'll go over to their house to watch dvds, that more likely.

There's something funny going on with our internet. Ever since we have put in the network our usage has jumped hugly. Today we have used 430mb. That's really bad. I don't think we're doing anything that requires a lot of downloading. But hmm. Maybe we should blog in word and only post it when we have finished. And not talk to anyone. And generally avoid all the fun of the net. Grrr.

On the way home I thought of a quote: There's more to Christianity than the Gospel, but there only is more because of the Gospel.

I'm not sure if I agree with it. I'm kinda of two minds, and it depends on your definition of the Gospel, but it's a snazzy sounding quote, so that's good.

There aren't many better feelings than sitting on a train, going home, knowing you just finished an exam.

One down. One to go.

Good quality exam today. I freaked (as much as I ever freak, which isn't much) because it was a really crappy looking paper. There were 2 questions and only two that I had studied for.

Once I got into it though, it worked good. I think I'll pass. I remembered stuff from class and important passages that I hadn't studied. It was all very nice.

The good thing about doing exams about the Bible is that you can learn while you get examed. One of the questions was about Jacob and how he progressivly understood more of God and the Covenant. Basically in Jacob's life he knows that God has good things for him, God has promised to bless him, and so Jacob goes after that blessing. He tricks his father into giving him his brother's inheritance, he tries to scheme his way into getting the wife that he wants, and he only ever calls on God when he's in need of something. Then one night Jacob and God have wrestling match. Funnily enough God wins. He touches Jacob’s hip and dislocates it. Jacob wrestles with God because he wants a blessing, but Jacob only gets a blessing from God when God has won. God then changes Jacob’s name, to Israel.

It’s interesting because all Jacob’s life he’s wrestling with God. All his life he’s trying to make a name for himself, and wrestle God’s blessing out of Him. But it’s God who makes a name for Jacob, not Jacob. Only after Jacob is brought into submission does the blessing start coming to Jacob. After his wrestling bout Jacob’s still a bit of a doik, but he’s a different, God trusting, zealous, doik. He is trusting in God’s faithfulness, and God’s provision, instead of his own.

I guess it was interesting because it occurred to me that I’m just like that. I know God wants to give good things to me. I know he has a plan for me, I know He knows what’s going on. And so I try and wrestle God’s blessing out life. I go out of my way to find that “blessing”. It’s a little strange to think about it in those terms, but it’s true. Too often I don’t sit back and trust that God will provide, I decide that God will provide and he’s going to provide through me.

But that’s not the way to do it. God provides when He wants to, not when I want him to. Abraham wanted a son, and knew that God was going to give him a son, so off he went and slept with Hagar to get himself his heir. But that wasn’t God’s plan, or God’s provision (not special provision anyway), that was Abraham’s doing. God did give Abraham a son, but He did it His way.

I need to be obedient, and through obedience comes blessing. I need to seek first God’s kingdom, and God will figure out my life. And God does work for me. He has in the past, and he will in the future. We just get too occupied with the present.

Anyway, that’s what occurred to me in my exam and now I’m feeling much more relaxed. More relaxed because I don’t have to wrestle God, and I don’t have to get my hip dislocated to make me stop. Jacob did that for me.

It's too damn early in the morning.

Why can I never get to sleep these days?

On the 25th of July 1998 I wrote:I just got back hours ago from seeing "The X-Files Movie:Fight the Future". That was one hell of a cool movie. It's turned me into a paranoid freak who thinks the govenment created El Nino as a front to stop Goldie Hawn from doing another movie.Bit of a Moses thing I think. I thank God for the Govenment.

I was a funny one.

He He He

He

Oooo

I thought of a really good post on Sunday night about high school crushes. It may not have been good, but I thought it was interested and I wanted to record it for prosterity (sp?). Alas though, I never posted it. I can't really remember it now. I might remember it in the future. It was something about living in perpetual hope.

I don't think that last conversation was compleatly accurate. But its the best my poor brain can manage.

I caught the train today. I missed my train by about a minute because I was cleaning the house. That meant that I missed my train at Central and had to wait an hour for the next one. I was reading my Old Testament Survey on the station and a man came and sat next to me. He looked at my book and asked me "Is that book mysterious?"

"Mysterious?" I replied. "It's about the Old Testament. In the Bible. So I guess it could be described as mysterious."

"I read that once, the Old Testament." said he.

"Really? Did you like it?" I asked

"Aaron and Samson had a fight." he stated.

"Aaron and Samson?" I was a little confused.

"Yeah they had a fight" he insisted.

"I don't remember that bit."

"They did" he insisted again.

"Ok. I must have forgotten. There's a lot of fighting in the Old Testament." I allowed.

Last night I defraged one of my Hard Drives. I left my computer on so that I could sleep while the defrag was going. The noise of the computer gave me the crappiest sleep. It's not very loud but it ruined my sleep. Kinda like when you have a fever and you have the same boring dream over and over again. At 6 I got up and turned the computer off. The sleep was much better after that.

On Thursday Tinku, Ryan, Jo and I went out for vegan Yum Cha. It was ok. I had to use chopsticks the whole time which was difficult. All the people working there looked really sad and they rarely smiled. It wasn't a very happy place.

I'm going down to Wollongong today for my mother's 50th birthday. My cousin's live in Austinmer and my Mum's haveing her birthday there. I have an exam tomorrow so I have to study on the train. I'm really, really bad at studying. If I'm bad at doing assessments, I'm even worse at studying. But if God is feeling like it, I'll pass.

Yay blogger's back. That's nice.

It's missing a few days. I have to go to church soon. Kids to teach. I'm wearing my new jumper. I always get nervous wearing new clothes. It's like when you show a film for the first time. Except not quite.

Poop

I don't know whether I should keep posting so that when this does publish I will still be fully updated. I guess I should.

I bought a new jumper on Thursday. I finally got a jumper. I'm not sure if I like it. It's very small around the torso. I got it because of the picture on the front not because I liked the jumper. The picture is of four guys on motorbikes, 3 with women on the back, they all have a seventies look to them. Underneath that it says "The Jesus Trip". I thought that was pretty cool. Very daggy but cool. I have no idea what it means.

I am going to keep posting till this fixes it self.

I'm losing loyal readers for goodness sake!

I am the world's worst studier.

I'm thinking about moving my blog. Maybe I'll go somewhere else. Use a new program.

Are you going to post for me now blogger?

What a poop. This thing keeps telling me "Oops, your blog was not quite ready to be published. Please try again." I try again and it's exactly the same. Poop.

This blog is not posting.

Why has blogger gone bad?

Wow. All my old posts have come back. And all my archives. I'm now missing all the posts I made while they had that other stupid thing up. Oh well we'll see what happens. I've made a record of them. I've made a record of everything I can now. It's all safe. Safe from the blog eating monster.

I bought myself Office XP today. Tis nice to have something other than Open Office to use. Open Office is really crappy. Now that I've decided to have a legit computer software is costing me a lot more money. But it feels nice.

Wednesday is usually my day off. Today though I thought I'd make tomorrow my day off and today I would study. I discovered around 15 minutes ago that I have done no study all day, so I have made today my day off again. That means tomorrow I have to study. That's a bummer.

Done.

I would just like to say that I have almost finished my assessment and it isn't due for 11 days. That is a record. That is un-heard of. I used to think I was doing well if I got it done on the Saturday and it was due on the Monday. Now it'll be done on the Tuesday and due on the Friday week.

Yeaaahh Baaaby. I'll have to celebrate.

I thought if I changed the colours I could overcome my mid-life crisis.

I've had a much more productive day today. I feel much better. I've made phone calls. I hate phone calls so much. Scare the hell out of me. Truly I loose all ounce of confidence when I have to make phone calls. Often I have to pray for strength to make phone calls. I go and have as many converstions as I can. It's really bad.

Anyway as well as phone calls, I've also bought books, got cheques, written assessment, posted letters. It's very good.

I haven't played Sim City at all either. Lovely.

Today must be work day. I'm starting to get that "it's all coming down on me" feeling. This camp needs to be organised. The assessment needs to be done. The exams are coming. What poo. On the 16th of June, it's all done. Finished. No camps, no exams, no assessments. Yayness. I'm happy.

Until then though. I'm hoping Jesus comes back. That or I have a terrible accident riding a horse and fall into a coma, although that will only delay the exams and the assessment and I'd miss the camp (which I want to go on, I just don't want to organise it). So I'll go for the Jesus back option for purely selfish reasons.

I have to wash up soon. I'm leaving my run a bit late.

I think I'll listen to as cd. I know I'll listen to a cd.

We had a swedish girl over to dinner tonight. Her name wasn't Inga. And she said that most men in Sweden weren't called Sven. I was shattered.

I'm also meant to be working at the moment. Stuvac and all. I played a lot of Sim City 2000 today. I'm trying to get my city to work. Never all that interesting untill there's work to do.

Sorry Chris.

This month we went 829mb over our down load limit. That's $140 worth of megabytage. That's bad. Strange too. In one hour on Saturday night I managed to rake up 234mb. That's massive! I have no-idea what I was doing. I can only remember chatting and reading blogs. I think I was chatting to three people at once and was finding it difficult to blog because I was talking to so many people. But chatting and blogging isn't 234mb of stuff. Unless I'm mistaken. It may be that someone is dogging our internet. Maybe we should put up a firewall. Maybe we already have a firewall. Can't tell. I'm not smart enough.

This sucks.

My computer got a virus. Am fixing it now.

David changed his template today. I have been think about changing mine. But this is functional so I'll probably leave it. David also invited people to his 21st on his blog. I think that's cool. Don't expect an invite from me to my 21st on my blog though.

What an exciting morning I had.

Today I have to send Rob's camera to Uluru. I decided that I should charge his new battery for him. I put the battery in the camera to see if it had any juice in it, which it didn't, then proceeded to take it out. But it wouldn't come out. The battery comes out of the camera via a spring action or somthing. This battery though we slightly the wrong shape and wouldn't come out. That's a bugger. One doesn't feel like getting a dead battery stuck in a camera. I renders everything useless.

So I went to work. It took me the better part of an hour to get that battery out (I had a shower and a chat to mum in between). I think I would have voided the camera's warranty (if it had one) but I figured this was an emergency. Now though, the camera is back to normal. The original battery is working fine. The new battery is going back to the shop with a request for $135 back.

I was a little worried there that the camera may have been lost for good (or at least untill we gave it to a fixit man) but luckly I came first in the state in Media Studies, so I'm very smart.

Sunday, eh?

I like Sundays. Twas a good day today. I wasn't tired. I was awake till 2 or so last night. I couldn't sleep. I can't sleep much these days. I think too much. Damn thinking. But as I said I wasn't tired. That was good.

The morning group was fun. I always like them kids. There was a guy there who was in year 7 and lived in Hornsby. I bought some malteasers off him. We had small groups and my guys had chats with me. I like small groups.

We had a bbq after church. I had honey soy kababs. They weren't too bad. I cooked them myself. On the barbie. Felt like a real man. Good old Aussie barbie. If I had me Fosters in my hand it would have been fine. (I went to a church in Hervey Bay where they all stood around and drank VBs. I was quite impressed. I thought we should do it more often. If only I liked beer.) Helen and I discussed making a video for Black Stump. It would probably be a film clip. Some cheesy pop thing, with pop dancers. That would be so cool. I'd geek out. I'd make sure I got a stedi-cam for that. I'd train up and everything.

In the afternoon we planned our camp which is on in two weeks (that really sucks, I'm so un-prepared), and I had a Bible study with my year 7 guys. It was on 1 Corinthians 15:20-28. I discovered that it was a difficult passage to do with people in year seven. A lot theology to go with it. We had fun though. Afterward we played soccer in the kindy hall and I grazed my arm on the wall and lost badly. Twas fun.

Tonight in church we had a panel and I was a panelest. It was fun. I got asked why God invented mozzies and if every one had a guardian angel. It was kinda fun. People gave good answers. One girl gave her testimony tonight, it was very good to hear. Very encouraging. I think we should share our stories in Church more often. We are there as a community.

After church was the usual Maccas trip. We went because Jill came home from England. I had only met her once before, but she was really friendly to me. I was impressed. I wouldn't be friendly to someone I had only met once. Well I would, but not familiar friendly.

One of the year 9 guys told me at maccas that I wear daggy clothes. I agree with him in many cases (I'm wearing a $10 K-mart job jumper at the moment) but I had to act offended.

My Red Noodle shirt is cool. My Ten News shirt is daggy. But it's extreamly cool too. This jumper is daggy. That's it.