I've been thinking about whether I should weigh in on the women thing. Perhaps it's more the relationship thing. I don't think I will though. I don't really have anything to say.
On the marriages front though, I've thought a little about that. I don't think that laws are going to make marriages good. But it would be good if it could. I think people are selfish by their sinful nature, and so marriages suffer as a result. And so do the kids. “I don’t love you anymore” is not a good reason to end a marriage. If you don’t love a person, get to work doing it. I don’t figure you can go sixty years “feeling” love for the person you marry. I don’t think you can go sixty years feeling like you’re getting something out of a marriage. I think there are going to be times when you don’t want to be married anymore. You don’t like the person you wake up next to in the morning. But that doesn’t mean that the commitment you made when you got married is void.
When the Bible talks about love in 1 Corinthians 13 it says nothing about feelings. Love does and feels later. From my naïve and immature position, I reckon, that a marriage that relies on the selfless giving of one person to another, is one that is going to succeed. When that breaks down, on either side, the marriage is on it’s way to the dogs. When one person starts looking to their own interests before they look than that of their spouse and family, then there are problems that need to be sorted out.
I also believe that marriage is designed first and foremost to honour God. And a marriage that is first and foremost devoted to God has a better chance of survival. If one person is devoted to their spouse more than to God then they will inevitably be let down. The other person is as dodgy as they are. But God on the other hand is reliable. He is worth being devoted to and He will not let a person down. I think marriage may be the greatest place to practice love for God and love for your neighbour. God first, family second, you last.
So I don’t think laws will fix marriages. I think attitude changes, faith changes, heart and life changes, will fix marriages. I think there is just as much chance of a marriage going bad these days as there was in the past. These days though people have the legal and social freedom to get out of them easier.
But now that I’ve said all this, I don’t really know. I only know about marriage from what I’ve heard and seen, not what I’ve done. I have no proper idea why marriages go bad, and that’s not my problem. I don’t really want to judge other people’s marriages. I have seen way too many failed marriages, and don’t want to judge them. I love and respect the people involved. But I have seen way too many failed marriages and I don’t ever want to go there myself. I think I have as much chance of stuffing up a marriage as anyone else. But the above is what I believe a marriage should be like, and what, at this stage, I intend on sticking too. And by the grace of God I’ll die married to the only person I ever committed myself to, and committed to the only God I ever gave my life to.
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