One down. One to go.

Good quality exam today. I freaked (as much as I ever freak, which isn't much) because it was a really crappy looking paper. There were 2 questions and only two that I had studied for.

Once I got into it though, it worked good. I think I'll pass. I remembered stuff from class and important passages that I hadn't studied. It was all very nice.

The good thing about doing exams about the Bible is that you can learn while you get examed. One of the questions was about Jacob and how he progressivly understood more of God and the Covenant. Basically in Jacob's life he knows that God has good things for him, God has promised to bless him, and so Jacob goes after that blessing. He tricks his father into giving him his brother's inheritance, he tries to scheme his way into getting the wife that he wants, and he only ever calls on God when he's in need of something. Then one night Jacob and God have wrestling match. Funnily enough God wins. He touches Jacob’s hip and dislocates it. Jacob wrestles with God because he wants a blessing, but Jacob only gets a blessing from God when God has won. God then changes Jacob’s name, to Israel.

It’s interesting because all Jacob’s life he’s wrestling with God. All his life he’s trying to make a name for himself, and wrestle God’s blessing out of Him. But it’s God who makes a name for Jacob, not Jacob. Only after Jacob is brought into submission does the blessing start coming to Jacob. After his wrestling bout Jacob’s still a bit of a doik, but he’s a different, God trusting, zealous, doik. He is trusting in God’s faithfulness, and God’s provision, instead of his own.

I guess it was interesting because it occurred to me that I’m just like that. I know God wants to give good things to me. I know he has a plan for me, I know He knows what’s going on. And so I try and wrestle God’s blessing out life. I go out of my way to find that “blessing”. It’s a little strange to think about it in those terms, but it’s true. Too often I don’t sit back and trust that God will provide, I decide that God will provide and he’s going to provide through me.

But that’s not the way to do it. God provides when He wants to, not when I want him to. Abraham wanted a son, and knew that God was going to give him a son, so off he went and slept with Hagar to get himself his heir. But that wasn’t God’s plan, or God’s provision (not special provision anyway), that was Abraham’s doing. God did give Abraham a son, but He did it His way.

I need to be obedient, and through obedience comes blessing. I need to seek first God’s kingdom, and God will figure out my life. And God does work for me. He has in the past, and he will in the future. We just get too occupied with the present.

Anyway, that’s what occurred to me in my exam and now I’m feeling much more relaxed. More relaxed because I don’t have to wrestle God, and I don’t have to get my hip dislocated to make me stop. Jacob did that for me.