3/04/2011 01:06:00 am

Family Upgrade

Posted by Tom French |

My sister Jo had her baby. We're all very relieved because a few of us were worried that there was no baby and she just made up the baby to cover-up her love of Pollo Campero's deep fried chicken. But it turns our her fatness was not all chicken, some of it was child.

Or in fact, it was all chicken and they've just stuck photos of a baby on Facebook while she goes to Pollo Campero rehab.

But I'm gonna trust that while my family is sometimes devious about things like this, they're not skilled enough to execute a conspiracy of such massive proportions without my help. So I believe there is a baby and his name is Sebastian. And this is the alleged nephew:

Sebastian.jpg

Photo credit: Chochy Morales (my sister in-law once removed or something)

He's very cute.

I picked up Hannah, my younger sister, from after school care today, and I was talking to her about how she's an auntie and I'm an uncle, and I couldn't quite get my head around that. I feel the weight of responsibility now to do the barbecue at Christmas and forget birthdays, uncles have a hard job.

If you notice Sebastian is looking more white than brown. Seeing as his father is a good looking Latino we were hoping for a lady killer mixed-race kid. Mixed race people are almost always hot (unless you do something dangerous like mix an Irish with a Kiwi). They tell me the baby will get darker soon. I hope so. I only allow hot people in my family. Lucky he's a baby, because babies are always cute. He has until he's three to become good looking or I'm voting him out of the family.

Anyway congratulations to Jo for having a baby and not just some chicken. Congratulations to Sebastian for being born, beautiful and a symbol of Australia and Guatemala's friendship and close military alliance. Congratulations to Victor for becoming a Dad and sitting on a couch and eating sandwiches during the labour.


Just so you know, I am actually very thankful to God for Sebastian. I don't care how un-Latino he looks... well I don't care much. And I'm very proud of my sister for having a baby. I wouldn't do it even if I could. I'm really looking forward to meeting him, and forgetting his birthday regularly. Well done, Jo, Victor and Sebastian. Praise God for all his many blessings including children and Pollo Campero!

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