Update

Essay is done. Handed in. I rewarded myself for 8 years of poorly written essays with a Bacon Deluxe meal from Hungary Jacks. The bacon was square. Fitting really. Poorly executed bacon for poorly executed essays.

The special vanishing boxers have been found. They shacked up in the sleeve of one of my jackets with one of my socks. Peter was right. I should keep an eye out in future for more items of clothing sneaking off for illicit rendezvous with other items of clothing in other items of clothing. I'm having trouble figuring out if the jacket was also involved in the affair, just facilitating the affair, or just being used because of it's bulk. If it was in fact a three-way laundry liaison I am rather disgusted by the moral turpitude of my clothing and I shall be taking action to do segregated washes from now on. It's as bad as running a youth camp. "No socks in the boxers wash, no boxers in the jackets wash, and no jackets in the boxers or socks wash."