I'm in the Qantas Club because my Dad's all la-de-da and got us in on his golden credential. I haven't eaten breakfast but I plan on gorging myself on the free cheese and bread rolls. I may even get totally sloshed on the vodka. Can't pass up a free opportunity to vomit on a plane!

That last bit was a joke for all my conservative Christian friends.

Last night at work there was a girl walking around in a bra. One of the cleaners told me to "Check it out! That's amazing!" And I did notice that she got a lot more helpful service from the male ushers than most patrons. I tried not to look because it's rude to look at women in their underwear, unless it's in a catalogue and then you can look for bargains.

I'm ready to leave Australia now for the North American World Tour. The bags are checked, the 7kgs of icing suger safly on the way to the cargo hold.

For those who are interested, I'll be going Sydney - Guatemala - Washington DC - Ocean City - New York - LA - Sydney.

We just saw our plane, the mighty A380. I'm so excited. It's a darn big plane with a self-service bar. Sweet!

This is all I have to say. Now I'm going to find free food and drink and relax in pomfy-pomf elegance.