Australia Day it has been. The day to celebrate being Australian by eating barbecued stuff and dressing for a riot.

I never get all that moved by Australia Day. I mean I love Australia. There is no place I'd rather live. But patriotism is a little embarrassing. It's silly to pretend we live in the best country in the world. Because we don't. It's probably some Scandinavian country or Canada or something.

Then again, now that I think about it, maybe I should do a bit of self-congratulating on Australia Day. After all, if it wasn't for us Aussies we wouldn't have such a wonderfully large rock in the middle of our country to show tourists. And we wouldn't have the most beautiful beaches in the world. If it wasn't for the fact that I was born here, I doubt we'd have such a fantastic climate.

And I'll be damned, if there is another country in the world that knows the meanings of the words "mateship" and "fair-go" like we do. Plus tell me one other culture that understands how to have a good time like Australia. None. No-one really. We're the best.

Isn't it obvious how good we are? No other country has progressed as fantastically as we have in such a short time. In 1788 we started out as just a bunch of English criminals and soldiers, willing to behave like criminals and invade and massacre like soldiers. But now, we're rich, fat, and good at cricket and yet we still succeed in remaining true to our forefathers roots and use our military to deal with the natives. How good are we?

So I'm going to give myself a pat on the back because I am pretty good.


That said, I do love Australia. But probably like I love my car. It may not be the best there is and often it's a little bit embarrassing but it works for me and it warms my heart with familiarity.

So I enjoyed celebrating Australia today. I went and ate steak at a barbecue party of joy. And I ate Asian take away from Chef's Lucky Noodle (cooked by an Australian who looked like a Chinese) with my family while I drank that great Australian drink, Coke.

Happy Australia Day Australia. Sucked in rest of the world, you have to work on Monday. Which is just one more indicator that we are the best country in the world.