I spent my weekend in a canoe.

Tomorrow night it's the Oscars. Tops.

I'll try and blog bigger later.

Driving home from Jo and Jem's house tonight I got completely lost. I think I always get lost going there, or driving home from there. I think that they must live in this alternate dimension where you can't escape unless you find the right portal, and it always just takes me a while to find the portal.

Anyway, tonight's lost experience was rather pleasant. I decided not to try too hard to find my way home and just meander and see what happened. I found a place called Battery Point which I thought would be some kind of lookout, but turned out to be some freaky white, apartment village. Every block of apartments looked the same, and were situated in a big circle facing onto an oval. It was weird. There was even a building that had been built to look like a 1950s American church which wasn't a real church at all. It was kinda like a film set. Truman Show perhaps.

Those veins on my arms in the banner picture are pretty gross. Maybe I should airbrush them or something.

Gavin Says:

Tonight, you arrested my mind
When you came to my defense
With a knife
In the shape of your mouth
In the form of your body
With the wrath of a god
Oh, you stood by me
And I'll stand by my
Belief - Gavin DeGraw

Today I had lunch with Mum and Dad at Pie in the Sky. It was tops.

Yay

I write "Yay for..." a lot. Like "Yay for Kaia and Mark" or "Yay for Gavin" to quote two recents. Except I never say "Yay" in real life. I write "Yay" but I never say it. I guess I'm not really someone who lives with much integrity.

Gavin DeGraw is cool.

I listened to him today when I was travelling to college. He plays good music. It's really rich with catchy melodies and each song has a sense of purpose about it. They're all worthwhile in themselves, they could all work in a film, but as an album it's not bad either.

Yay for Gavin.

In other news I spent about three hours in the Library today studying Greek, and I still suck. Grr. What a horrid subject. Why didn't they write the Bible in English?

Sunday

I had lunch with some people from church today. I liked that. I think almost everyone there was older than me (not including the toddlers and babies.) I don't normally hang out with these people but it was fun. I stood around with the "men" and wondered if this is how real men act. I figured it was probably well on its way.

Tonight I preached. I got really nervous. I was told I rushed a bit. I had a really dry throat. I felt ok though. I still like preaching. Tonight was another of the growing sermons, ones where I grow as a preacher. I got good feedback, so that's a positive.

I haven't eaten dinner. I should do that.

I downloaded Gavin DeGraw's album tonight. It's not too bad.

Kaia Weds Mark

Yesterday was the first time I’ve ever been to the wedding of an ex-girlfriend. Kaia once said to me that she didn’t want to ever be just an ex-girlfriend of mine and she’s not. Most of the time I think of her as Kaia, not as my ex. But when you go to a wedding love is kinda the name of the day, so it’s certainly in your head. Plus there was quite a few jokes directed my way during the night, given my status as an ex-boyfriend of the bride. I think I should have gotten a special seat or something.

Anyway, I’m sure I’ll get philosophical and reflective at the end. Now is too early. Now is like eating ice cream at the entrée.

The wedding looked good. Kaia looked good. St Peter’s is such a tops church to get married in and so close to my house too. If I was a chick I’d be stoked to get married in St Peter’s I’d be thinking “Look at me in my white dress on this red carpet, with the stained glass windows, and the brown bricks. I look like a dream. Aren’t you all jealous?” That’s what’d be going through my head.

If I was a bloke getting married (which is probably a little more likely at this stage) I’d be like “Look at me in my suit, here I am at the front. I’m getting married. Yep.” And then I’d probably repeat that to myself a few times. Being the groom isn’t nearly so fairytale, I guess. Unless of course it’s an Elvis wedding, and then well, that’s fairytale to the max.

But I digress. The wedding was nice. It was a wedding. They’re almost always nice. I’m a romantic. It was interesting because it was Kaia and Mark. I’ve never had someone that close to me get married. Mark is a top bloke. If I could have picked a man for Kaia I would have picked Mark I reckon. (I thought about writing there “If I was a chick, I would have married Mark myself.” But I think people might think I’m a little strange if I keep putting myself in hypothetical situations as a woman.)

After the wedding a lot of us packed out the Hannah Van and drove through the heavy rain, through the storm, down to Berowra Waters for the reception. There was no power at the reception venue because of the storm. For three hours we had no power and had to make do with candles and old fashioned entertainment like conversation. I met two people called Natalie and Jordan who were most friendly. I think it may have been a little sad for them that they got stuck on our crazy table, but we did alright out of it. I think we were happy to have them.

Michael was there. I like having Michael around, he’s good to hang with. Shame I never see the man. I think as I get older weddings from the Hornsby crew will become more and more of a youth group reunion. We had a photo of the old youth group taken, just for old-times sake.

Once the power came back on, it was goodness all round. I liked the food, and the electric light was fun. At the garter toss David got involved in a violent tussle on the floor with another guy. It was great, made my night. We did that huggy circle thing at the end, then Kaia and Mark left. And that was that. We caught the Hannah Van home and I drove along wondering how it had affected me.

I do think it was weird. It was weird because Kaia was such a marrying type, and then she got married, and it seemed kinda natural seeing Kaia in her dress getting married to a man in a tux. But then it also felt a little like a dream. And it was all weird watching it from the back of the church. Maybe more like I was an observer than a participant. That was the same feeling having my table at the back of the reception venue. Perhaps it felt like we, the St Pete’s crew, sent Kaia off and she got married. Once she graduated from our crazy group she was ready to get married. I don’t know if that makes sense but the connection between us and Kaia was a lot thinner than it used to be. But I knew we had played an important part in her life and I was proud to be there. Proud of her I think.

I do like Kaia. I like her a lot. She’s got one of those special places that ex-crushes get. She gets special privileges. I’ll always look forward to seeing her. I’m looking forward to visiting her and Mark in the house and feeling like a grown up with my married friends. I think they’re great.

So I say “Yay for Kaia and Mark” I’m looking forward to seeing God bless them and their marriage heaps. Good stuff you two.

I got my sermon for tomorrow finished last night at 2am. That's 24hrs ahead of usual. Tops.

Our toilet doesn't flush very well. In fact the flush is broken. We have to fill the cistern with a bucket then press flush.

This should be fixed after the renovations in March. Until then it's bucket times for us.

Yesterday was great. I had such a good time. I watched four movies at the cinema in a row. Can you think of a better way to spend a day?

I arrived at Westfield at 1pm for lunch and went and saw a movie at 2:25. It was all go from there.

1. Hide and Seek - 2:25pm

Not very good. Robert De Niro is always fun, even if the film isn't good. Dakota Fanning is one of the best child actors I've seen in years. But neither of them could save the film. It was pretty run of the mill, and it didn't have much happiness to it. There were no redeeming qualities, no glimpses of hope and so it just became a dark film that didn't really do much for you.

Amount I would have paid to see it: $5

2. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow - 4:10pm

I went into this film thinking that it wouldn't be all that good. As much as I like Jude Law and Giovanni Ribisi, I didn't think they'd make this film good. It just looked like it was living off its production design. And in a sense it was, but it was damn good production design. It was a great looking film mainly because it had so many nice little touches. The story was pretty B-Grade Science Fiction, but I'm sure that's what they were going for. And there were good little jokes the whole way through about the advanced nature of the 1940s technology. It was a fun film, certainly better than I thought.

Amount I would have paid to see it: $11

I had a break here and had some dinner at Subway with David and Anmol.

3. Cellular - 7:15pm

Here was a trashy film. The story was silly, the characters were pretty cardboard, the action was paint by numbers, the acting was poor, Kim Basinger was out of a daytime soap, but it was all a lot of fun. This really was a bad film, but I really enjoyed it. It did nothing more than fill and hour and a half of my life but it was an enjoyable one. Sometimes films like this just have a little cheeky charm to them, the film was like that annoying kid at school who wins you over only because they can crack a joke and smile well. I did enjoy this one, but it probably would have been better off it was never made. If only it had Hide and Seek's cast, then things would have been a little better.

Amount I would have paid to see this film: $7

4. The Aviator - 9:10pm

This was a good film. Leonardo has fully made up of Jack Dawson now. And Cate's Kate Hepburn was just fab. The film was perhaps a little long, but mostly it was engaging. It entertained me, it was well acted, and it was a balanced portrayal of Hughes (DiCaprio). The film had a sense of excitement and I spent the whole time going for Leo. The scene in the Senate hearing was one of the best "kick the bad guy's butt" scenes in ages. It made you excited but it did it with finesse, tension and very little obvious manipulation. It was great. I liked this film a lot.

Amount I would have paid to see this film: $15

After that Howie and I walked home. I got home at 12:30am. I was a very happy boy.

It's $5 Movie Day today at Greater Union! Yeah Baby!

I'm two movies down, two to go. Over 8 hours of entertainment for $20, who can beat that? This has got to be one of the best days off ever.

Soon we may be able to record TV and copy music a little legally. "Fair Use" may be coming to Australia. Tops.

I read it here.

Valentine's Day

I have no problem with Valentine's Day.

Sure I've never got anything but I'm sure there are many couples out there who Valentine's Day has done wonders for. Who cares if it's commercialised? So is everything else. It just seems a little more crass because the church never managed to appropriate it and send us to church on Valentine's Day morning.

I reckon there has been many a relationship created, rekindled, and cemented on this day of love, so I say, more power to the popular people. Isn't it good that so many people get such a self-esteem boost out of today? No doubt it's probably temporary and superficial but Christmas is mostly that too.

I had a friend today ask me why couples don't just celebrate their love for each other everyday of the year. But if that was the case then all the sad single people would be even sadder the rest of the year.

In fact, I felt quite happy being single today because I didn't have to participate in Valentine's Day at all. There was no pressure what-so-ever. So single people do not loath this day because you are single. Instead let us rejoice that the very cause we have for our loathing is also the freedom we have not to participate in it.

At College I didn't seem to be registered on any of the computers, and I haven't got my student card yet, so I went to the office and asked them "Can you tell me if I exist?" People laughed. They said it was an odd question. Apparently having an existential crisis is not as common as I thought.

I then proceeded to ask them lots of questions about what a part-time student can and can't do. They told me some of my assumptions were wrong because I'd been reading the prospectus which is only for Full Time students. I asked them if there was a book of rules for the Part Timers. They told me "No".

I think that Part Time people must live under grace rather than law. Or perhaps we are meant to be working from the law that is written on our hearts. I'm finding that a little difficult at the moment, I can't find any of my assessment tasks or their due dates written anywhere near my cardio-regions. But, of course, if I don't exist no one will notice if I don't hand in any assessments.

I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me,
So I can say this is the way that I used to be - John Mayer

The End is Nigh!

I caught the 11:53pm train home from Central last night. It was a crowded train. I sat down on an empty three seater, the only one left and a man with a lot of baggage came and sat next to me. I had seen him earlier at Town Hall preaching into a mobile PA system. I like a good street evangelist and here was one sitting next to me on the train, a real, live street preacher.

I sat there trying to work out if I could have a chat with him. I was interested in how a effective a street preaching ministry is, As I sat there on the train he put a tape on on his PA system (I think it was Benny Hinn worship) and started doing a Bible study.

Suddenly during the Bible Study he turned to me, looking me straight in the eye and said “There’s been two earthquakes you know, in Indonesia. God’s judging them! He sends a warning, then he judges”

“In Indonesia?” I asked

“Yeah, in Indonesia, and in Sydney. We had a $2 million hailstorm because Clover Moore wants to be a Mayoress, and she wants to have her poofter parade, and we’re going to rain on the their parade, me and Jesus. We try and give them unfavourable conditions but they still keep doing it. God’s going to send earthquakes to Australia, lots of them, because he’s warning us. You know there are cards in your mobile, they call them smart cards, and they’re linked to the German bank. The bank also controls all the credit cards. They want to control the whole world. The worst two things in the world are credit cards and mobiles. They’re all linked to satellites and soon their going to freeze everyone’s funds and then they’re going to take over the world. They wanted to earlier, but they can’t because there are too many Christians in the world. There are 1 billion of us. But soon the anti-Christ is going to rise up. The German bank wants to start World War Three…”

He went on for a while. I learnt that the man next to me had stopped the Bosnian War by flying with Jesus and binding the demons and ending the war. I learnt that he and Jesus had also got the Australian troops into East Timor. He had rung up John Howard to tell him that. I learnt the anti-Christ is going to be Hitler resurrected, the German bank is going to bring him back to life. I learnt that Bush and Blair are making all the Middle Eastern Muslim countries invade Israel. They’re all going to invade but God will send acid rain and all the enemy will be killed. Then Israel are going to use the tanks and weapons for firewood for seventy days because apparently they’re all made out of a top secret material developed by the Russians that isn’t metal, it’s wood. All the tanks in the Middle East are made out of wood.

I learnt lots of other things too. I’m all set for the apocalypse now. As much as I wanted to say something I didn’t get one word in till the man got off the train. The only thing I said to him was “In Indonesia?” He talked all the way from just past Redfearn to Strathfield. At Strathfield the man walked backwards down the isle, carrying his PA system and pointing his finger at me, warning me of the impending doom.

As soon as he got off the train the whole carriage burst out laughing. Everyone looked at me in awe for having to put up with the man, for maintaining such a polite look on my face the whole time. “That guy there had to sit next to him!” “He had to listen to the whole thing.” “We should pay him for that! Where’s my wallet”

I was an instant celebrity on my train. I felt a bit bad for the guy, everyone was laughing at him. I thought I should do something.

“At least he was passionate” I said

“Yeah, he can have his view” The man behind me agreed

“That’s true” someone else said

“Yeah, he’s alright.”

“You should be a psychologist with a view like that” the woman behind me told me.

I turned around to look at her “You know what,” I said “I’m actually a youth minister, I work for the church so I get on with people like him. I don’t agree with everything he said, or most of what he said, but that’s ok.”

“Yeah,” said the man behind him “He’s not hurting anyone.”

“It’s people like him that make me happy to be Australian.” I said. And then with a laugh we all went back to our train journey, most of the train had various discussions with each other about the John Farnham and Tom Jones concert they had just seen. I started reading my book by Dietrich Bonhoeffer and I hoped no one read over my shoulder just in case they thought I was as crazy as the guy who had sat next to me.

I have found myself with a few free minutes here at work so I thought I might take this opportunity to blog. I have to go to small group soon but right now I thought I’d take a break from the strenuous work of youth ministry.

I lost my internet at home again yesterday, but that was due to the painting. We had to disconnect everything so the lounge room could be painted. It’s so sad how often recently I’ve lost my internet.

Yesterday I went to a lunch at Grandpa and Valentina’s house. Upon arrival I discovered the unit was populated by 5 of my relations from New Zealand. I’m not sure how I’m related to them, but it’s at least good to know they’re around just in case I run into monetary troubles in the future and have to call upon that blood bond.

It was a lovely lunch. There were three boys, who may or may not be 8th cousins of mine, who you could classify as “Youth”. They were fun, it was good having people around who dress similar to me. Valentina made me a cake that was tops. It was a birthday cake. It was my first birthday cake this year (apart from the one at staff meeting which I shared with Belinda, so I won’t count it because it sounds better if I don’t). I think it may have been my last too. This is in stark contrast to last year when I got, on average, a cake every fifteen minutes. I think people’s love for me must have substantially dropped since last year.

I watched Ray the other day. That was a good film. I saw it during the day on Tuesday. What a fun time to go to the movies. I was in a cinema full of old people. They talk all the way through the ads and the credits “Oh isn’t Robert de Nero looking old?” “Who’s that woman, looks a bit young for him?” “Ray Charles was black, oh my.” Things like that. They were a very different audience from the young adults who seem to populate my usual screenings. I guess cheapo Tuesday and film without guns brings the Senior Citizens out in droves.

When the film finished I had to go to the toilet, so I got up to leave during the credits. I looked around and realised I was the first one to leave. The rest of the cinema was glued to the screen. I felt like a bad, uncultured (nekulturny) person. It was a change from usual when I’m the last to leave because I may watch 20 seconds of the credits (I have been known to stay right to the end.)

The film itself was very good. Ray Charles makes good music. Jamie Foxx makes good Ray. Taylor Hackford and friends make good film. Yay for them.

I had my first preaching class last night. It didn’t inspire me hugely. There wasn’t much wrong with it. But it didn’t give me much passion about preaching, except a story about Polycarp, Eusebius and a monk who cut out his tongue. That was good. That stirred me.

Although I did get inspired the other night when I started creating my own lecture on preaching in my head. I’m sure it wasn’t really what all the good Sydney preachers of today would like. But I enjoyed it. It really appealed to me. Funny that.

Now it’s time to be off. Yay.

What I hate is when you send an sms, an sms that should get a reply, and then the person doesn't reply. And you wonder if they hate you, or if they've died, or something like that. You wait around for hours racking your brain for what might have gone wrong. Or if the person is laughing at you for sending such a silly message. And you go to bed that night wondering if this is the end of a wonderful friendship. And when you wake up in the morning you check your sent messages you realise the message was never sent. All that worry for nothing.

Well sometimes I don't reply to messages, so I guess it serves me right.

I spent today doing lots. But really ending up with not much to show for it. I spent most of the day writing a Bible Study, with various conversations, official and not, along the way.

I do like to drink water. Especially bottled water. And tap water. And Coke. That's mostly water.

I just cooked my dinner. I didn't really need dinner, but Dad had it all laid out for me to cook and the chicken would go off if I didn't so here I was cooking a stir fry at 11:30 in the evening. Lucky I can sleep in tomorrow.

The internet has returned to my home. Yeah Baby!

It is embarrassing reading my blog in internet cafes (I check it for comments) because people may look at me and wonder why I am looking at pictures of myself.

Still no internet. I'm in the Hornsby Internet Cafe, "A great place to Surf". I'm sitting at the computer directly across from the front desk. It's a little scary like having the teacher watch over you as you do your work in class.

Greek last night wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. There's a lot to learn but it's making a little more sense now. It's not as scary anymore. I can read some of the letters and I can write my name phonetically. I'm not sure what the real Greek for Thomas is, Diddymus?

On my way walking up to Hornsby today a woman walked into me (or I walked into her) and I dropped my water bottle on the ground. The water went everywhere. She kept walking and looked back at me with a look on her face as if to say "What do you think you were doing walking along with a water bottle in your hand?" I can still feel those disdainful eyes piercing into me.

I'm sitting at Strathfield Station right now and I'm paying dearly for forgetting my book today. I have only Robbie Williams and the rest of my cds to keep me company. I guess I could read my text book for college but that doesn't excite me. It's just depressing that I have so much learn. I'd rather live in ignorance. I think I may just fall asleep when I get on the train. That is a little risky. I could sleep all the way to Newcastle but at least that'd kill the boredom.

I'm so reliant on books.

My internet has been down at home. It's so sad. So hard.

You feel like you're getting millions of emails, and people are just blogging away, and you can't check. I didn't even bother turning on my computer this morning. It's like I'm depressed. I'm not though.

I'm in the city at the moment. I had a break between classes so I came here to use the net. I don't have access at home. I have Greek tonight which I'm not looking forward to. I don't feel smart enough for it. I'm struggling to feel smart enough for any of this college at the moment. The challenge is fun, but tiring.

I left my book at home today, it's rather depressing. I listened to sermons on the train on the way in, I'm not sure what I'll do on the way home.

I'm not doing very well at doing my job at the moment. I finished this weekend feeling like I'm doing a bad job. My talks have felt very average, and I feel like I'm not making things all that interesting. But it's been really cool to see all the young people again. I really like the youth. I know I say that often, but my thoughts haven't changed.

I went to a barbeque on Saturday night and spent almost the whole time talking to people I didn't know. It was amazing. I rarely felt awkward, and I was kinda social. Perhaps I grew a little on Saturday night.

I think I might go find some dinner (I know it's early but I'll eat again when I get home), then find my way back to college.

As I ate my breakfast this morning I read about modern embalming techniques. There were needles, paints, chemicals, injections, extractions, creams, pins, dislocations, holes, cotton wool, rubber wedges, fake limbs, flesh cuttings and more. The perfect breakfast time reading.

Happy Birthday Thomas

I got a phone call today, during staff meeting. I ignored it. When I called my voicemail I only heard "Hi Tom" before I accidently deleted the message, thinking I had already listened to it. Having no idea who it was, I decided to call the number that had come up on my phone. When I did that though Optus regretfully informed me that the number I had called had been disconnected. What's up with that? It had been connected an hour before hand, when they called me.

Julian told me it could be an outbound only number. That could be the case. Whatever it was, I may never find out who it was. I decided at the pub tonight that it was probably either Norah Jones or Natalie Portman. I'm sure they'll call back.

The storm today was the coolest.

I was driving home from College and it rained, it hailed, it flooded, trees fell down (although I only drove past them after the event), and traffic lights went out. I had so much fun. I would try and describe it well, but I couldn't do it justice. It was just fun. It felt dangerous, but it probably wasn't that bad.

Before the storm, when the world was dry, I saw a guy get hit on the head by one of the first bits of hail. It was big, and he rubbed his head, then looked at the sky with a kind of bemused look on his face. It made me laugh.

I finished reading Sean Astin's book about the making of the Lord of the Rings today. It was an interesting read, but I'm glad I'm done with it. I got a little sick of him. The book was pretty egocentric. Sean spent most of the time telling me what mood he was in each day of the film making process, and how fat (or skinny) he was in just about every period of his life till now. He also told me on every second page that Lord of the Rings was a $270 million production and that he wants to be a famous director. It got a bit tedious.

Since I finished that book I started Tell Me No Lies which is a collection of investigative journalistic pieces from 1945 on. John Pilger edited it and he introduces it with a biased attack on the mainstream media saying it is the puppet of the governments. Or perhaps that the governments are the puppets of the media moguls. Or something like that. He seemed a little like an intellectual Michael Moore who doesn't make jokes. I'm enjoying the stuff after the introduction though. I'm feeling like I'm getting educated.

Am I getting picky in the books I read? I used to think you couldn't get any better than Tom Clancy.