There was once a time when I was more eloquent on my blog. Perhaps it was when I felt like more was happening. The weather would fit with my emotions, and my life felt as though it had a little more meaning.
That's not to say that life feels meaningless, but in my "eloquent days", the little things seemed more significant. Most events seemed to have some heightened meaning to them. A drive home, was not just a drive home, and so demanded language to do justice to what I felt was occurring. At the moment I feel like I'm just waiting to look back and see how this all fits in the big scheme of things.
Yesterday at college we were asked to say how we were feeling in meteorological terms. I said I was feeling like a grey, cloudy day, every now and again it'd be a little drizzly. I was looking forward to sun at the end of the day, which was the forecast, but it could start raining at anytime. It could go either way really.
Other people said they were feeling dry and needed refreshing rain. It was interesting for me I was hoping for the sun, for others they were hoping for the rain.
I'm writing a sermon at the moment and God is big, that's what the Bible tells me.
My life here in Chatswood is coming to an end.
The party is over. The revelers have gone home. Then again, there were only seven of us revelers, so I would call it more of a gathering, than a party, but it was pleasent enough anyway. We played the dictionary game.
Today I finished my last class in Field Education at college. The subject is finished and I've passed. Wahoo! I'm only four subjects away from my Advanced Diploma. Bah!
We had small groups tonight and there were only 13 boys this week. Gosh it's difficult chasing 13 boys around a back yard trying to get them to write testimonies. Yikes! I'm looking forward to the day we get to halve the small groups again.
We went an saw Sons of Korah play tonight. They were good. The guitar player was tops. I've fogotten his name but he did good.
On the way home our front left tire was squealing so we pulled over to have a look. Martin and I did a lot of crouching and and looking. I got my hands dirty. I felt like a man. After doing nothing, we drove off and the wheel was fixed. Good on us.
I have finished all my Field Education assessments and managed to watch a documentary on Mick Jagger. How could life be better?
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
Psalm 73:25
I have too much to do. Really.
I would list everything but I think that is silly. My strict adherence to my day off means that I'm packing everything in. Actually, it's my strict adherence to my day off and leasure activities, like Pub and so on. But I believe that it is better to have a good time and be a little stressed, than have a boring time, and have less stress.
Yeah.
I don't like hair cuts. They always scare me and now I feel stupid. I probably look stupid too. More stupid than normal.
My hairdresser was friendly, but seemed determined to bludgeon me to death with various plastic hair dressing implements, or choke me to death with that roll of toilet paper they put around your neck.
At least I won't have to go back for another few months.
Look Mum, I'm famous!
Funny, I stuck a religious picture which made me laugh on my blog, and now I'm the fame of the internet. Ok, so maybe not famous. But here I'm a religious fanatic. And here he can't figure me out.
That's great, I always wanted to be popular.
Next week I'll stick a picture of how well God punishes gay people on my blog and the hits will go through the roof!
That was a joke by the way.
If I fell in love with me, it'd be a worry.
Although I reckon it would be one of those things where everyone would say "We always knew it would happen sooner or later."
Phil, Guin and Helen just came around to my place. It was good. We talked for a long time. I have been reminded again, that my family is fantastic. I have got to be one of the most blessed people around. I did nothing to deserve it but I got born into a wonderful family.
It's good to talk theology with people who like theology. And when you don't feel silly for bringing up Bible passages, discussing doctrine or using the word "covenantal" in normal conversation.
We went and hung at the retirement village today too. I love the people there, they appreciate us so much. And they want to spend time with us. They have time for us because we have time for them. They're tops.
"'All good things come to those who wait.' While he had always said that was a lie, he figured he had nothing better to do than to hang around and prove himself right." - C.K. Knight
Jo (sister) came around to my house tonight. She's staying the night. We've talked a lot. A little about going to Europe next year. We might catch the train a bit while we're there.
I had small group too. 14 people is a lot of people to have in a small group. I hope they had fun, because I feel like I spent most of my time telling them to be quiet.
I went to college today. That was usual.
I like driving a lot more when I can listen to cds. I like driving even more when I have a passenger. I like driving most when I have a passenger and cds.
Happy Birthday for yesterday Viggo.
I managed to get the internet working here. It was all just a matter of finding the right buttons to push really.
I'm having my day off and so far it's been lovely. Except that I just spent the last 85 minutes watching Brother Bear. Not impressed.
Last night when I blogged from the pub I wasn't really in a that bad a mood. I was tired though. So that made me a little crabby. But I think only crabby when I was alone. I was waiting for people to arrive, so I thought I'd blog from my phone. Then when I realised no one would be coming for a while I went to my car and got my book, bought myself a beer and some wedges and read. It was wonderful. I could have done that all night. But then people turned up and I was happy enough with that too.
What I don't like is when you find that you're not in a good mood and the first time you see someone you decide you don't like them. I just saw a guy here in the pub move a table from the bistro to the bar and I got annoyed at him. I thought "You can't do that" and immediately disliked the man. Just now when he came back into the room I saw him and thought "It's you." And sent him a mental greasy. How stupid is that?
I'm taking this opportunity to blog because I don't know when the internet will come back to my bachelor pad. I'm worried that it may never come back. What if it's been cut off because the bill hasn't been paid or something? That would be terrible. I'd fix it but I can't.
Having no internet is horrid. I wander around like I've just broken up with my girlfriend. Actually I'm not sure if that is how I would wander round, but I mope. And I watch tv. It sucks.
If I get a girlfriend, and if we break up, I'll have a look at how I behave and see if it's the same.
Sometimes living alone is great fun. Sometimes it's a bit lonely. It's fun when you have things to do. It's lonely when you don't and you feel like going out. Or feel like having a visitor. Or seeing people. But there isn't anyone around. I think that's what being lonely is I guess.
Anyway, it's not a big deal. The cinema is just down the hallway so that will always be able to solve a problem or two. Plus I'm only in Chatswood for two more weeks. So I'll be fine. And I'm having a lot more fun than I'm not. I really like doing the washing up, and washing my clothes. I'm having fun. I enjoy cooking when there are people to cook for. I enjoy seeing little bits of mess and thinking "I'll clean that soon" And I enjoy it when I do clean up the mess.
Doing assessments there is boring, but good. There is nothing much to distract me so it works well.
I think the positives of Chatswood out weigh the negatives at the moment. Good fun I'm having.
I've decided ADSL is dodgy. I haven't had the net for over 24 hours. I'm blogging from my phone.
I just went and saw Collateral. It took me five minutes to get there and five minutes to get back. Tops!
I liked the film. It was shot on high definition digital video. That gave the film an interesting look. Michael Mann played with a lot of interesting shots. He used his city very well I thought. It was interesting how lonely he made the city feel. Everyone was in their shell and lying to themselves. That, and they were reacting to a contract killer who was driving around the city killing people.
I don't think it was as good as Heat, it was a little sillier. But I'm glad I watched it. It was better than most stuff that's on at the movies.
Yesterday I stayed in the apartment writing my sermon all day, except at around 6:00pm when I went out to find some dinner. I ended up having a meatball sub from Subway. I was hoping for some funky Asian cuisine, but it was not to be.
Today was a normal church day.
I got really nervous before my sermon tonight before I preached. Somedays I'm not worried some days I'm packing it. Tonight was the most scared I've been in a while. More than Canberra or College, that was funny. I'm not completely sure why. A number of factors I guess. But once I got there I was fine.
It wasn't a bad sermon. I would really like to preach a teaching sermon (not evangelistic) on the passage I did tonight. So much good meaty theology in it. I'm hanging to do a meaty sermon. Of course, I don't think I'm the meatiest preacher in the world, but it's fun to go a little bit harder. People who aren't Christians often don't seem all that interested in our theology.
After Church, Anmol and Helen and I went and ate Chinese in Dee Why. How fun. Anmol and Helen paid for me. Yay for them. They're good people.
Tomorrow I'll learn Psalm 51 off by heart for my college assessment. Perhaps the faculty are trying to hint at something.
A Quick Easy Guide to Salvation
From the Maranatha Revival Crusade's book The Coming Worldwide Rapture
But if I can be serious: I can't find huge problems with this diagram theologically. But it seems a little bit simplistic and not all that relevant. I'm not sure how effective it is talking about "The Burning Black Hole of Hell"
The Belated Evolution of Tom's Facial Hair
My Beard
My Goatee
My Mo
The whole facial hair thing was kinda fun. Although, I often didn't enjoy having so much fuzz. Too many conversations about my face. People should stop looking at me. But it was fun none the less. I did get teased a lot. But that's no change from usual, just the subject matter. :)
Ryan came over last night. We watched Dogville. It was one of the most depressing films I have seen in ages. Basically it's about how horrid everyone is. It starts out nice but in the end there is no character of the film who doesn't commit some terrible attrocity.
It was also one of the most different films I've seen. It's worth watching just to see how they made it. It's like watching theatre on film. But it works real well. It was a damn good film, horrible too. We aren't nice people, we humans, and we're all deserving of the wrath of God. The sad thing in the end was that not even grace could change the hearts of the people, it was just there to be abused. The only effective measure was judgement. I feel like a bad person.
I reckon Dogville is worth a watch.
I think about the problems in my life, they're so simple and relatively harmless, and I thank God.
I preached at college today. It was the first time I've done a real preach at college. It was a little scary.
I got hot too.
Sometimes people say that talking about your day is boring. It could be. I find my days boring sometimes. Not today though. I listened to sermons on the train. That passed the time well. It was quite a different experience from listening to music. I even did the Bible readings before the sermon.
I wore my new shorts today, which was quite like wearing my other shorts except with a few more pockets. I drank Coke, Sprite and Solo too. They are good drinks.
I wonder if I talk about my feelings. Some people think I don't. I tend to agree with them. Maybe at the moment. Maybe it's about asking the right questions, maybe it's about being the right person.
I think it's more about the questions.
That's not to say that I'm bottling things up. Actually I could be. I don't think I'm saying I'm full of feelings that I really need to tell someone. I think if I need to tell someone, I do. If people want to know, I'll tell. Unless it's a bad idea to tell them. Then I don't.
In Anger Management the guy went to anger management classes even though he seemed like the most benign guy in the world. He didn't seem the least bit angry. But he was really repressing all his emotions and needed to get them out so he could truly live.
At first I thought, I don't get angry much I wonder if I'm repressing it. But I find it difficult to think of times when I have felt angry. But the guy didn't realise it, so maybe I don't.
But then I thought, the film seems to be about giving your feelings free reign. If you feel something you should act on your feelings. If you're angry at your boss, show him, if you love someone, kiss em. That kinda thing. But it's very selfish. If all we do is what our emotions tell us to do were slaves to our feelings. People only ever do what seems good at the time, and the consequences come later.
I don't think repressing your feelings is a good idea. But then again, I don't think acting on all your feelings works either. I think Doc was right when he said to Peekay, "First with the head, then with the heart." I know it desentimentalises feelings, but it also puts them in their place. Feelings should fuel the passion of our decisions, not make them for us. Feelings then serve us, and not we them.
Did I mention that it was hot today?
I just did a 1,500 assessment in one hour.
Who's the bomb?
(I bet it gets real poor marks.)
Ahh Bum
While I thought the email said:
Hi Tom
everything is due the 13 October 2004
Thanks
Tania
It actually said:
Hi Tom
everything is due the 11 October 2004
Thanks
Tania
Now everything is going to be at least a day late. And this is the same subject that I failed last semester, Children's Ministry. I think these problems are not the result of disorganisation or laziness, they are a sign from God that Children's ministry really isn't me thing.
What would you do if your house burnt down while you were in the shower?
In my childhood this was always a question that got much consideration. That and, what would happen if Jesus came back while I was in the shower? I was always horrified at the idea of having to run outside in the nude in front of all the firemen.
Anyway, this morning I have come a few big steps towards answering that question. While I was in the shower the fire alarm went off in this building. At first I thought it was my clock radio, but I remembered that I didn't have that set. As I stood in the shower and listened to the alarm I tried to decide if I should take it seriously, and if so, what should I take with me? I decided to take my mobile so I could message people and tell them of the excitement and my digital camera so I could take photos of the excitement.
When the alarm changed tone and a pre-recorded man started saying "Please evacuate as directed" I decided I would get out of the shower. I think it was the personal touch that did it. That and I couldn't properly tell what he was saying with the shower on and I was curious. I dried myself while the man continued to tell me to evacuate and I started to tell him to "Shut up, I'll be ready soon." I then went to my room to find some clothes because there's no way I'm going nude in front of a fireman. I wondered if anyone would worry if I wore the same clothes as yesterday, I decided it wouldn't be a big issue. Then it was time to find socks. Part way through finding socks I got distracted by the thought that if the building actually is burning down then that could be pretty impressive. So I headed out on to the balcony barefoot, because let's face it, looking for fire is much more exciting than looking for socks. All I saw on the balcony was other residents on their balconies looking rather bored. There were also some people in the driveway, with their boot open and a boot full of bags. Either they were taking the alarm seriously, and packing all their worldly possessions for a speedy getaway or they were paying no attention to the alarm what-so-ever and putting all their worldly possessions in harm's way.
I think it was about this time the alarms stopped.
The firemen turned up but they looked bored. The concierge walked out of the building looking bored. I looked at the flashing lights for a little while, because who doesn't like flashing lights? Then I went back to my shower and washed my hair.
I shaved too. Now I have a very silly looking goatee. I saw myself in the mirror and laughed. I won't keep it for long. But it's good for entertainment's sake.
I have discovered that it's difficult to find a Bible in the home of an athiest.
Yesterday I had a Coke party. It was good fun. I had people over to the unit and most of us commiserated about the election result. One person gloated.
I had my first drink of Coke in 145 days. It was good. And we made speeches and it was all fun.
I really like letting people in at the buzzer. When it plays crappy music and you see people on the little screen. So fun.
Today I was back at work. I did a Children's talk as an assessment for college. I didn't like it very much. But it was 60% of my assessment so even if it's crap it's done. I have to finish the other 40% between now and Tuesday.
I had a long lunch with Helen and then and almost as long meeting. Lunch with Helen is a good occurrence. We eat, and talk, and have a laugh. Life would be much less good if we didn't get along.
At Macca's tonight we tried not to laugh at various death stories. Now I'm at my pad I've had some spaghetti on toast. It was pretty dull.
There are a lot of numbers between 1 and 78. And I accidently voted the Australians Against Further Immigration higher than the Democrats, but since we were down in the 30s I wasn't too concerned.
Ruddock got number 8 on my green one.
Well I'm kinda excited. It's election day tomorrow. I love elections. I love filling out the boxes.
I went and saw The Life and Death of Peter Sellers last night with Mum, Dad and Jo. We had fun. We had dinner. I love my family. I laughed a lot and it still hurt.
I haven't seen Hannah since Monday I think. I miss Hannah, she's the best.
I joined the gym downstairs today. I got a free one week membership. Just watch out I'll be so buff next Saturday no one will recognise me.
I hung out with Rich too. We haven't hung out together for well, years. Year 10 may have been the last time we did something together. But we had fun. He doesn't seem to have changed much, but I wouldn't be surprised if actually he's changed a lot. He drives now. That's new.
We went and saw The Terminal. Jimmy joined us.
James is now asleep in the next room. I cooked dinner and we watched a dvd. One day I'm going to learn to cook things that don't come out of a jar. Perhaps, um, slice. I'll cook slice and sell it at church fete. Except my church doesn't have fetes. I'll have to rectify that situation.
Maybe we could get a polling booth put in the church and run one of those election fetes. We could sell sausages, slice and punch to all the famished voters. Because voting is an exhausting past time. Especially if you number 1 to 78 under the line.
Whenever I get an email at this computer my Grandpa's voice comes out of the speakers and says: "Hello. I think you've got some mail. You better have a look at it."
It's pretty funny, I like it. It makes me excited about getting mail. Perhaps my Grandpa was showing off to Valentina when he did that.
Why I love the CDP
Mandatory detention should continue for all persons without authority to be in Australia. Further legislation that does not impinge on natural justice should be passed to prevent the abuse of the judicial process that extends the stay of persons who have no entitlement to be in Australia.
Australia should continue to be a world leader in being a generous haven for genuine refugees through internationally supervised and orderly refugee resettlement programs.
Found here.
There are a few stories I'm looking forward to telling when they get de-classified. They will be funny, and everyone will have a good laugh at me.
I had a fun day today. Liz came to visit me today. She was my first visitor to this bachelor pad. She arrived while I was eating my Coco Pops. We scanned together, and it was fun to have company in my morning.
Rach and I went driving some more today. We went to the RTA to book a test. While Rach was talking to the RTA man about driving instructors in Taree an old man managed to fall over, flat on his back, as if he had walked into a wall, except there was no wall, right in front of the RTA. I rushed over to see if he was ok. He was. There were a few other people who also joined the huddle. The man was ok and we helped him stand up. I was pleased with myself that I rushed over to help. Usually in situations like that I assume someone else is more qualified than me, and I should stay out of it. I'm glad I didn't even if I wasn't much help in the end.
At church we had lunch with Helen, and met some of the "youth". They were fun. For the first few hours of today, I did almost no work. We made up for that in the end by doing a mail out to the whole youth group.
Pub tonight was good. I ate BBQ ribs and Lesley was there. That was exciting because it's the first time we've seen her at the pub and I think Lesley is tops.
I'm back in Chatswood now. Tomorrow I will do some college work. Yay for college work. I might visit Westfield too.
If marijuana was legal would you smoke it?
I've copped a beating over the past few days for saying I'd try it once. I wouldn't smoke it, I just thought I'd have a puff, just to say I've tried it. Some people don't like this idea. Hmm, everything is permissible...
