Mil and Martin came over this morning to borrow my video camera. They found me in bed. I would like to imagine that when people find me in bed in the morning, I was a vision of seductive, self-confident, radiant male beauty. Women would swoon, and men would aspire to be like me. Alas I think people just generally feel guilty for finding such an incoherent, mess of a man.

When I see people who have just woken up, I usually think that perhaps they aren't a real person yet. I think "If I say "Hello" to them now will they know who I am?" Like when people have a shower, or put on clothes, they also put on their real personality. And for some people that personality takes a while to warm up, so they aren't fully themselves till around midday (depending on what time they woke up).

Sometimes I feel the most fully myself at around 1am or later. Although I think this maybe just the time of the day I feel the most lucid and carefree (on a good night). When I answer the phone after I have just woken up I usually do my best to sound as with-it as I do at 1am (on a good night), but people most often see through my facade and feel guilty for having the phone answered by such an incoherent, mess of a man.