Monday, 22 March 2004

1. Openness and Honesty

I realised in the car on the way home that I am now "Mr Open and Honest" which I think is quite funny. There is very little I don't talk about. I don't talk about my love life, and I don't talk about things which could negatively affect other people (the reason I don't talk about my love life). I don't talk to protect others. And that's about it. I don't think I'm "Mr Righteous", I think I'm just incapable of lying. Ask me a serious question and I'll either tell you the truth or I won't answer. My inability to lie means I have to say more than I've wanted to, but I've coped.

I think my blog has made me much more willing to say things I wouldn't have in the past. I never talked feelings a few years ago. I never ever admitted if I was in a bad mood. I was always "happy" and life was always "fine". I wasn't allowed to be passionate, things was just "good". I felt all those things, I just never let them out. These days I seem to volunteer information I would never have in the past. Sometimes it occurs to me that I have no secrets of my own, and I feel a little naked. A bit free too.

I don't know what I think of this whole "new me". Perhaps I can start a money laundering scheme, then I'll have a secret to keep.

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