I went out to lunch with the staff today. We had this really cool waiter. It was his second day and he was extremely awkward. Before he took our orders, just after he'd arrived, he pulled up his fly. Whenever he leant over to put down someone's knife and fork he'd say "Sorry, Sorry, Merry Christmas". He was cool.

Youth Group tonight had 5 kids. I didn't mind at the time but I'm starting to feel a little depressed about it. I started the year with 30 kids or so, and 5 turned up. I know it's the end of the year and all, and they're probably all off doing stuff, but I don't know. It's not a very nice way to end the year. I feel like a bit of a failure. And next year could be a complete failure. And then I won't have done good in any youth ministry ever.

After youth group, I went to a get-together for the oldest youth group at church. It was a little strange. There was swimming in the pool. I swam but felt very awkward. I sort of sat in various corners of the pool and wondered if I should go and make conversation with someone and would then decide not to because I felt too intimidated and they might not want me talking to them.

I also wondered what there is for a guy to do in a pool if you don't want to do belly flops, wrestle, or flirt.

After the pool things picked up a bit. I get a bit more confidence with my clothes on (Ewan commented that I had a carpet on my chest). I played a bit of table tennis and managed to talk to a few people. There were kind words said about Matt. I think I'm going to hear a lot of kind words about Matt over the next few days. That, though, is not a problem. I think Matt's great and I'm all for kind words for the man. We surprised a girl who came home from England today. I'd never met her, but I jumped up and said "Surprise" anyway. I hope she didn't mind. I met her later and she seemed like friendly chap and not the least bit upset by my presence.

Almost everyone left at once, that was a little strange. Maybe someone said something offensive. I left too, no one said anything offensive. Maybe I said something offensive.

Can you tell I'm feeling a little insecure today?

In other news I got my marks from college and I now qualify for a Diploma of Theology, at least I'm not a failure at that.

Yours Faithfully,

Tom French Dip. Th.