It's been a strange two days.

Actually today has been pretty normal.

College yesterday was ok. I was very tired. My test went to the dogs. Church History was more fun than usual. We talked about Evangelicalism and Fundamentalism. There was a bit of theology discussed and I got to jump in on the discussion. I got into the discussion about the inerrancy of the Bible the most. It was kinda fun. Like the theology lectures of last year.

We looked at Revelation in New Testament. That was good too. It makes a bit more sense now.

On the way home my train got stuck on a bridge going over the Parramatta river because someone on the train infront had a medical emergency and they needed to call an ambulance so we had to wait till the ambulance arrived before we could move.

The guard was kinda funny. I slept during most of the wait but I heard her announcement that she thought she could hear the sirens so it wouldn't be long before we could "get the hell out of here...oh I shouldn't have said that".

She then encouraged us all to ring 131 500 and complain about City Rail and having to wait over half an hour for the train to move.

When I got home Mum told me that one of our friends had drowned in a boating accident. I wasn't quite sure what to do. I'm still not. It's a weird feeling. I didn't know him really well but he was a family friend. He was a Dad with two older kids. It just seems to suck. I really feel for the family because I can't see why they need this pain.

I don't understand death. It doesn't really make sense to me. People die but I don't feel like they're gone. I feel like if I tried hard I could go find all those people who I know who have died. They aren't gone they're just somewhere else. I might run into them at the shops. Or maybe I just haven't visited them in a while. Perhaps they are on a holiday and they'll be back soon. I can't comprehend the loss of so much. There is so much within a person and when they die, it's all gone. It's only a body and that's pretty useless.

In know some answers. I know what the Bible says. But that doesn't make me feel any different. I haven't really experienced that reality. I just have faith that it's real. It makes more sense to me than anything else.

At community dinner we talked about death, we talked about why it happened. We asked why did this particular death happen. I said what I thought. And it kinda affirmed for me what I think.

I like the fact that God is in control of life and death. I like the fact the He controls our comings and goings. I can't accept a random death. I don't see any hope in senseless deaths. I don't see any grace in a death that just happens. No reason. I don't know why people die, but God does. I don't know why people go when they do, but God does. I couldn't accept a loving God who just lets people be wrenched out of the world and He doesn't do anything about it.

So if He does take people, it may not make sense to me. Perhaps I can rage against God. But at least He's God. At least He's good. At least He knows what's going on even if I don't. That makes sense to me.

And I can hope in the resurrection and a time when death no longer has any power.