I have nothing to say.

Tomorrow I am going to Ulladulla. On Sunday I am coming home. A bit like Easter. Jesus was crucified at around 3pm or something. I'm leaving for Ulladulla at four. Jesus rose in the morning on the third day. I'm probably coming home on Sunday morning. I think I'll have more fun in Ulladulla than Jesus did when He was dead though. But it depends what was going on when He was dead, and where He was. I don't know.

Easter is a an interesting thing. I'm not very good at connecting with it. I was listening to "Until the End of The World" on the way home. The song is all about Judas and Jesus. And it occoured to me that tonight was that night. It was after the Passover that Judas kissed Jesus' lips and broke his heart.

Right now Jesus might have been before a bunch of religous leaders. Peter may have been in the courtyard keeping warm. He could have denied Jesus once or twice. Tomorrow Jesus would have got mocked, people would have called for His crucifixion. He would have been nailed to a cross and he would have died.

Tomorrow won't seem like that. The sky won't go dark. There won't be any earthquakes. Curtains will not split in two. There will be no indication that tomorrow is any different from any other.

I don't know how I feel about that. Perhaps I want to go to church in the morning. Perhaps I want to remember what Christ did for me. I guess I want it to be special. I want it all to mean something tomorrow. I want to feel something. I wish the sky would go dark. I wish the ground would shake. It would be good to understand what it would be like to loose Jesus. If you had put your faith in Jesus. If He was your messiah, and He died, then you would be all alone. For the disciples, Saturday would have been terrible. They didn't understand and there would be no bliss in their ignorance. Saturday would have been a day of fear and without hope. No Messiah. No Jesus. No God. That's what I want to participate in. I want to know how important Christ is to me and what a momentous and terrible event Good Friday was.

If I understand Friday, then maybe I can understand Sunday too.

I guess I just want to know Jesus more.


Gosh. I didn't plan on writing all that.

I understand that nobody reads song lyrics on blogs, but I thought I'd stick them on anyway

U2 - Until The End Of The World

Haven't seen you in quite a while
I was down the hold just passing time
Last time we met was a low-lit room
We were as close together as a bride and groom
We ate the food, we drank the wine
Everybody having a good time
Except you
You were talking about the end of the world

I took the money
I spiked your drink
You miss too much these days if you stop to think
You lead me on with those innocent eyes
You know I love the element of surprise
In the garden I was playing the tart
I kissed your lips and broke your heart
You...you were acting like it was
The end of the world

(Love...love...)

In my dream I was drowning my sorrows
But my sorrows, they learned to swim
Surrounding me, going down on me
Spilling over the brim
Waves of regret and waves of joy
I reached out for the one I tried to destroy
You...you said you'd wait
'til the end of the world