I was reminded how much I hate sin again today. Sometimes you get put in situations where you see how much destruction it does to people around you. And it scares you because it happens to those people you thought would be alright. You think "Oh they're in ministry, they only commit little sins." But then that continually gets blown out of the water. And then you realise, "If they're not safe, then neither am I". And that's a scary thought. I must be on my guard because the devil prowls around me like a lion, and I could fall into temptation as easily as the next bloke.
But I was also reminded that we who are saved have all been shown the mercy of God, and that is a wonderful thing. We are all sinners, but we are also God's redeemed, and that is the fantastic flipside.
Then again, I think if I never sinned again, I could still rejoice for eternity that I've been saved.
"Everyday I tell myself that God is good, everyday I thank God that He is good and everyday I believe it. But some days it hits you, you feel it in your soul and it dances in your belly and on those those days you know you don't just believe the goodness, you're living it, forever." - C.K. Knight
I feel like an idiot.
A big one.
I managed to lock my keys in my office twice tonight. The first time I went down to the church to borrow some off Helen. Then I could open my office. That was good.
The second time everyone had gone to Maccas, and I left my office to go to the toilet. I locked it being the security conscious man that I am then realised I had left my keys in there, and my phone. After trying to work out if I could break the lock (I decided not to try too hard, it could be expensive), or climb through the window (Too high, too embarrassing and painful if I fell), I decided that I was well and truly stuffed. So I walked to McDonald's and got Helen and crew to drive me back. Who felt stupid? I did.
Angus bailed on me tonight. Now I'm all set for a night home alone.
It's not really what I wanted to do with my Saturday night but it's probably better. I'll watch the footage for Aimee I think. That will be the first step towards editing I think. Oh goodness, I have six hours of footage. I doubt I'll watch it all tonight. I might go and get some food from Coles too. Just to make me feel better.
The problem with checking emails and blogging before getting dressed is you feel rather naked and cold sitting at the computer in only your boxers. And if you get distracted, like I have this morning, you can feel naked and cold for quite a while. But then again that is one of the joys of the internet, I can communicate with the world in my underwear and no-one would have any idea. Except if I told them, like I have now. Darn.
This morning I decided I was sick of wearing a band aid on my thumb so my finger nail doesn't get destroyed. So I took my band aid off, then ripped off the flappy bit of the nail. I thought there would be pain and blood but there was neither. So now I just have an ugly thumb. Oh well, I'll say it was a war injury... "Land mine back in 'Nam."
Sometimes life leaves me a little baffled. But that's ok. It would be wrong of me to assume it would be otherwise.
Ethical conundrums are much less pleasant when you are faced with them in real life. I'm also much more likely to want to ignore them.
I must say I've been world class productive today. My to-do list has gone on a spectacular weight loss program.
I had a lot of problems with my sleep and trains today.
I fell asleep on the way to college and it was a full peak hour trip. The whole time I felt my head dropping, but I thought it was alright. Then I fell asleep, and managed to hit my head on the window with a loud "Thunk!".
I said "Oooh!" then looked around the carriage with a sheepish smile on my face hoping some people would smile back, but the just stared at me like I was an idiot.
Then on the way home from college I fell asleep and had to be woken up by the ticket man. After him I went back to sleep and woke up just as we were pulling into Hornsby. I quickly tried to back my stuff, my head phones got caught on the seat, then I ran down the train stuffing things into my bag. I had forgotten my book was on my lap when fell asleep so when I was half way down the carriage it fell to the floor. I said "Oh there's my book" and everyone looked at me like I was an idiot.
I finally made it onto the station in a flurry, appologising to everyone that had to get out of my way and the train sat on the station for another minute. Then I felt a little stupid.
Tonight I went to Bible study. That was good. Yay.
The Muslims from last week came and answered our questions. That was cool. I really liked talking to them. They were all really friendly, and quite well versed on their faith. Afterwards we got to have a proper chat and it was very fun. Plus Rach and I got to tell two of them about Jesus, I'd been itching to do it since last Tuesday. I really love talking about grace it makes me so happy. Hearing about Islam just made me love God more. And Muslims.
Bloody Day
I got up early today. Well earlier than I would have liked. I had to go to Panavision to drop off the gear from filming. I dropped a package for Kirsty off at her school on my way which was fun.
At Panavision the carpark was full so I parked in the middle of the carpark, making life difficult for people wanting to get out. So I was trying to be quick. In my quickness I somehow managed to catch my thumb nail on the door of the car rip half of it off. I was pretty impressed because I've never done that before. My first thought was, "I can show my friend in the hire place" but then I decided that we work close enough friends yet to start showing each other our fresh wounds.
Perhaps I could sue Panavision because I was in their carpark.
Anyway I dropped off the stuff and found out I was an hour and a half late. Since we're friends, hire-guy and I, he said he'd let me off. Yay.
Following this I drove myself to Killara station and caught the train in to meet Chris. We met and went and found the Blood Bank. Today was blood donation day. I'd never done it before so I was excited. We filled out forms which asked us all about our medical and sexual history. I have never been asked such personal questions before. It was ok though, I didn't have any embarrassing answers to the questions, except that I had been to New Zealand in the last 12 months.
Once we were ready they sent us off to have lunch then we came back for the procedure. I got to have an interview with an nurse then wait to have my blood taken.
It turns out I wasn't very good at giving blood. My needle got stuck on the side of my vain so it took me 15 minutes to get 467mL. That's 3mL less than they are meant to take. Chris managed to do 470mL in about 5 minutes. I did enjoy seeing all my blood though. And all the nurses were fun. It was a good place.
My arm
My blood
Speedy Chris
After the blood I got to have a milkshake, juice, eat a hot dog and some yoghurt. And it was free. I'd say that was the best bit but it wasn't. The hot dog wasn't very good. I had been looking forward to my free hot dog every since we visited the Blood Bank for science in year 10, so it was a little disappointing. But that's ok, I still liked the experience of seeing me bleed. My arm aches a little now.
I'm looking forward to next time. I'm going to bring more friends next time. We'll have a blood party.
Chris and I finished out outing by watching Steal which has got to be one of the worst movies I have seen in a long time. The script was shocking. There was a British guy trying to be a Southern Preacher, but kept letting his British accent out every now and again. The action was useless, and well it was crap. Crap, crap, crap.
Now I'm home. I might eat some dinner. Maybe get an early night.
Weekend
Perhaps I should talk about my weekend. It's not important.
Saturday was long. So so long. 7:30am is a fine time to start filming if you aren't finishing at 1am the next morning. Oi!
But it was a good day filming. We got everything done we needed to. And we had some laughs. It was a great location. Avalon is great, the ocean is great, the smell of new light stands is great.
Sunday I was very tired. I went and did a talk at the Kids Club camp but it wasn't very good. At least I didn't like it all that much and I didn't think it was very clear.
We went letter box dropping with the young folk that was fun. I had good times walking the streets with three teenagers, then eating ice cream with the whole youth group at the end. It's a good community.
We had church and I managed to fall asleep 6 times. And I didn't fall asleep once at McDonald's.
I also stubbed my toe on the heater in the bathroom in the morning. It didn't really hurt, but there was blood so that made me happy.
It's way too late. The day has been way too long.
But I got to say "That's a wrap" sometime around 1am this morning. Praise the Lord. We were only shooting from 7:30am.
Now I must sleep tomorrow I must work. And that's a whole other kettle of fish.
Dad just came from India and gave me 4 pairs of socks. Wahoo! He sure knows how to make me happy, my Dad. I love socks.
I'm filming tomorrow.
Helen and I went and hired the mike and tripod from Panavision today. Made my day again. I love going to Panavision. As I said to Helen "If I was a chick, guys could take me to Panavision to impress me." Cameras and film industry stuff. Yeah, cool. I always get geeked out when I go there.
We also stocked up on alcohol for the party scene in the film tomorrow night. I was hoping we wouldn't get found by youth group parents walking out of the liquor store during work hours, stocked up on lolly drinks and beer. 'Twas fun though. I stood staring at the massive selection of multicoloured drinks thinking "What would a person in year 10 want to drink?" (Don't answer that question Year 10 readers)
We had small group too. I think the study this week was too long. I had fun writing it, but we didn't get through it at either of my groups. Oh well, at least the leaders seemed to like it.
Tonight I had dinner with Ryan and Jem. We watched the diving.
Now I have to write up my shot lists for tomorrow. Then I sleep.
In the morning I'm getting up at 5:30am. Argh!
On Monday I went and saw Walking Tall with Chris, Sal, and Jo. It was good fun. After my day of writing about Bible things it was good to switch your brain off and watch a man with a big stick hitting things.
Speaking of Bible things, I discovered on Tuesday that I had accidently stuffed up a question in my assessment. I wrote the first thing that came to mind, forgot to go back and fix it and handed it in like this:
In Hos 13:7-8 Yahweh compares himself to a (lion), leopard, bear and lion.
There seems to be a progression in Hos 13:7-8 with things going from bad to worse:
leopard - lurks
bear - attacks and rips open
lion - devours
If the sequence is reversed in Dan 7:3-6 lion > bear > leopard, what should we expect of the fourth beast ?
A frog
Oops.
Yesterday
I taught scripture. I still enjoy that. Because it was raining the kids had to stay inside for recess. This meant that I couldn't have my usual game of hand ball. I could, though, hang out with the kids inside. I think that was more fun becasue we got to talk about silly things, I got to play on the computers with the boys, and teach Claire how to play chess. So it was well worth it.
Work was meetings and then some work. I was pretty productive. I called lots of people, did all the things that had been on my list for a while and did stuff for the film. Not everything is ready, but things are getting better.
The pub was good. I discovered a new drink and I had a few conversations about my lack of authority, so I dreamt most of the night about telling various people off. It wasn't very satisfying, but what can you do? I think most of the people I was telling off in my dream were primary school kids and they just laughed at me.
I'm sitting in the food court and no one has turned up yet. I'm trying to think of bloggable thoughts but there are none in my head. Perhaps it's the bad food atmosphere. The smell is draining my brain of usefulness. That would explain the lack of meaningful coversation that ever goes on here.
