11/21/2009 12:24:00 pm

Biblical Crush

Posted by Tom French |

Mary Heart.jpg

So I was thinking about Celebrity Crushes, in regards to another blogpost I might post later. But I was thinking that probably celebrities are not the most wholesome bunch to have a crush on, so perhaps we should be encouraging them. But why not encourage a good old Biblical crush?

At first I thought perhaps Mary would be someone I wouldn't mind having a crush on. She was pretty wholesome, and the Bible likes her. And then I remembered that she was probably around 13 when she got pregnant, which makes her rather too young. Plus it'd be a little awkward telling Jesus "I have a crush on your Mum." So I dismissed that idea.

I talked about it with Howie and we realised that most of the women in the Bible seem to be prostitutes, sleep with their Dad, or sleep with their Dad dressed as prostitutes, so their not the types of crushes we want to encourage.

However there's Esther, she's hot, and she saves all her people from certain death. So that's a plus. She's married to the king, which may make her a little inaccessible. But you could certainly have a crush from a far.

Ruth's pretty good too. She certainly puts in the effort of pursuing her man, which is good for lazy men. But she's also a widow, so you might a little baggage to deal with.

Deborah was pretty good but some men might find her a little intimidating.

For the women, the options are a little better.

Obviously there's Jesus, but I reckon if I was chick I'd feel a little awkward having a crush on him, seeing as we'd have the same Father.

Solomon was probably a pretty attractive option until he turned into Hugh Hefner.

Jenny said a younger David would be good. Before he started stalking ladies and murdering their husbands. Though I reckon he might be a little hard to be in a relationship with seeing as he was always off at war leading an army somewhere.

Jonathan on the other hand. He was loyal. Probably a snag. And seeing as he was a soldier, he probably looked a little like Brad Pitt in Troy.

In the New Testament there's Barnabas. I always imagine Barnabas was a little chubby, but lovely, and full of encouragement.

Paul would be too intense. Plus he kinda loved being single.

John's good if you want a sensitive type.

But I reckon the best one would be Timothy. Young, smart, loved by all the old ladies. What more could you want?

That's about as far as I've got in my thinking. If you were to have a biblical crush, who would it be?

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